Beloved's mother is gone. She stayed more than a week while "transitioning" out of the hospital. For me, it was rather hellish. Everything was interrupted. I couldn't do Boy's regular playgroups because she needed a ride. I couldn't wear my collar because we haven't come out to her and I don't think she'd EVER understand. I couldn't properly serve Beloved for the same reasons. I couldn't properly enjoy (or endure) Beloved's attentions when he offered them. I couldn't do ANYTHING but focus on her.
*deep sigh*
But, it's over. She's transitioned back home. I'm hopeful things will be okay for a little while at least. I'm reminded that "Change is Inevitable, Struggle is Optional"
To celebrate, Beloved demanded a blowjob in HIS chair in the living room. I really really wasn't in the mood, and maybe that made the difference. I knelt before him, caressed his thighs, legs, down to his shoes, which I removed, followed by his socks. I rubbed out his feet, kissing each one before retracing my path to his belt.
He stood, and I released him from his pants and unders. My fingers brushing his skin, I knelt up to cup his balls reverently. Once he settled back in his chair, I began...softly, slowly, sensually kissing his rigid cock. Looking up and smiling at him, I opened my mouth and slid down his whole length. He gasped, I nearly choked, and slid up, swirling around his girth, teasing the sulcus and glans. I suckled his balls, his cock, occasional glancing up with a smile. As far as I could tell, I didn't DO anything remarkably different than I usually do.
Except that I was in a state of surrender.
I didn't want this, so when Beloved didn't cum, I simply continued. I followed him up the crest, and at the peak, I released him, hoping for my reward...and it didn't come, so, again... Swirling, moaning, suckling...up, up, up....crest...again. Again.... I was growing sore and becoming convinced that he was simply holding out on me...but what could I do? Again...down the length of his cock, circling the base, running my tongue up along the sensitive, pulsing vein, swirling the head, teasing the loose skin along the hard muscle, diving down and reaching my tongue out to lick his balls....tight, warm suction and a sudden release and cool air, followed by feather-light flecks of my tongue along his cock that gradually increased in pressure until I was suckling in earnest again.... Higher and higher I took him. His moans and gasps cresting and tumbling and lulling before the next rise....
In a cry, he came....and came and came and came! I swallowed over and over, barely able to savor his taste before the next burst demanded I swallow again. Beloved went limp...
no...that's inaccurate. He was gone. La petite mort.
I kissed his diminished cock, his hands, his lips...and nothing. I could hear Boy waking up, and so I slipped upstairs.
After changing and nursing, Boy and I were playing on the floor when Beloved peeked in the door. Looking at me, he smiled, shook his head, and said, "Wow. Wow, wow, wow. That was the most amazing blowjob you have ever given me."
After talking a bit about it and admitting my actual reluctance, the best we could figure the difference was that instead of becoming impatient when he didn't cum, I merely followed his crests and valleys. I surrendered from the beginning. It wasn't indifference, which can kill the mood faster than a call from the mother-in-law, it was complying with wishes substantially different from my own. I rose to the occsaion and not only complied, but I did my very best despite my personal feelings. Perhaps I glimpsed the salvation of my slavery.
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