Friday, February 1, 2008

When you're just not in the mood...

That's a major question for me right now...I have been sapped and worn out with the last two weeks of non-stop care for Beloved's mother. I've spent nearly 30 hours with her at the hospital, and more taking care of her cats and apartment. I'm also trying to keep up with my darling 15-month old Boy AND answering to Beloved at night....

and last night, I just couldn't do it. I had nothing left to give.

Some might argue that Beloved simply isn't firm enough with me. Some might say that I'm a poor slave for coming up short.

Maybe they are right...maybe I'm a fair-weather submissive and not a slave at all. It hurts to think that...I have been trying, giving, everything that I've got.

I'm just...empty.

Beloved has given me some space today, and his mother is safe AND comfortable with where she is now...so I had an easy day just chasing Boy around. Already I'm feeling better...and one more night of undisturbed sleep (dare I hope Boy sleeps again tonight??!?) and I'll be back to myself.

Which is a good thing, since we are going to Elmslie Manor tomorrow and then have a lot of entertaining on Sunday...I'm going to need to be back to my normal, giving, submissive slave-self!

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