completely selfish, but...

I have a fantasy that is totally, completely selfish. I want a day...one, whole, day...of quiet, with zero responsibilities and nothing I "ought to be doing" to make me feel guilty about it.

Realistically speaking, it is impossible. Even when Beloved ties me to the bed, takes Boy, and leaves me to rest all day (yes, he's done that, and it was pretty wonderful), there's still this nagging voice in the back of my head about the laundry, groceries, cleaning...

We're exploring an interesting option..."Jenni" is a man who wishes to experience cross-dressing and is willing to exchange (or include) the opportunity with cleaning the house. huh. No touching, no hanky-panky...all I have to do is store "her" clothes and be around twice a month for the adventure. Beloved is agreeable, and has even given me help with sizings so I can shop for Jenni (she's given me $300 to outfit her). Which takes the serious cleaning off my hands...if it works out...

But really...If the ALL of the minor, everyday distractions were removed, I'd find SOMETHING to worry about. It's just the way I am. I. Don't. Relax. I keep hoping that the D/s will teach me that elusive state...

Someone Else is in control. Someone Else will define the priorities. Someone Else will worry. All I have to do is do as I'm told...and ignore the voices in my head. *sigh*