My roommate came into the kitchen to find me in tears, on my hands and knees, scrubbing the wall and baseboards. After talking me down a bit, he pointed out that no one else sees the little spots on the wall that I'm scrubbing at...Not Beloved, not him, not his girl, not anyone who visits the house (or if they do, they never mention it)...
I turn the cloth over and it's nearly black and has rolled fuzzies on it.
"How can you not see that?" I asked.
"How can YOU see that?!?" he retorted. "No one else does."
I know these little things are invisible to just about everyone. I'm fully aware that I'm a little neurotic about such things NORMALLY. It's only gotten worse since the pregnancy...partly because I'm acutely aware of how much I leave undone. I try not to nit-pick the help I'm given, but it's frustrating and hard. Especially now...I'm entering my third trimester of pregnancy. I'm "nesting" and hormonal, and some days it just spirals out of control...leaving me in tears, on my knees, scrubbing baseboards.
Or miniblinds. Or fan blades. Or the spot on the wall behind the couch where Boy drew with crayon months ago and it's been eating at me since I found it.
Maybe for my birthday, a crew can be hired to do a thorough spring cleaning of the whole house. All the window sills, all the cobwebs in the corners, all the dust bunnies under all the beds...
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