DD_ss Sex as a Communication Tool

What does sex represent to you?
*soft laugh* It depends on the sex! Sometimes, sex is a very spiritual moment between Beloved and I. We both knew...KNEW...that we had conceived a child, because something was different. Sometimes, sex is about laughing (yes, I do mean laughing! Beloved likes the sensation) and sharing happiness. Sometimes, sex is an outlet for stress through a physical scene, like the hard struggle he gave me after the devastating contact with my sister.

How important is sex to your partner and to you?
I suppose it's pretty important, although it has changed over time. Early on in our relationship, I used to get incredibly frustrated when we didn't have sex for a while...mostly, I think, because it was such a stress-relief outlet for me. That has changed. Especially since we both got "snipped", sex has been one of the things that has kept us connected when we only get a little bit of time together.


When things in your life aren't going well (financial problems, health concerns) is sex one of the first things that hits the curb?
Right now, when we are both sleep-deprived, we are still enjoying each other in favor of a hour more sleep, so I think the answer is no, sex isn't one of the first things to hit the curb. Fortunately, neither Beloved or I have had lasting health concerns. Generally, if one or the other is sick, we just don't engage. Unlike me, Beloved does not use sex as a stress outlet, so sometimes that can be a conflict.

When you're unhappy with your partner do you withhold sex as a bargaining tool? How does that work for you?
No. Personally, I think that is petty and more likely to spiral problems than aid in the resolution.

We all go through periods of time when either our partner or we have grown or changed and there is dissatisfaction in the bedroom, how do you cope with that?
*wry smile* In the past, there would be an argument that led to discussion. Now, I think we mostly are able to discuss before the dissatisfaction becomes resentment.

Is a lack of sex or unsatisfactory sex reason enough to leave a relationship?
I think that if you are resenting the lack or unsatisfactory sex enough to consider leaving a relationship, there are MUCH BIGGER issues in play!