Beloved stumbled across a risque photo from a couple of years ago that got mistakenly posted on the 'Net. *shrug* I still don't care since I still have nuddie photos floating around here and my patience with politics is GONE so it's not like I'll be running for anything. Maybe he expected me to be more embarrassed by it? I don't know.
But the find led him to go back through some entries here, and I was a little surprised to hear the longing in his voice as he mentioned it. I haven't really had a chance to talk to him about it, but I wonder what he misses, REALLY. I imagine it's the devoted service...and I feel bad about that. While he's still the center of my universe, I definitely get caught in the vortex between TWO kids.
Sometimes I miss the collared life, but honestly, it's not often. I chafed with the rules, failed "loyalty" tests all the time, and never felt like I measured up in the lifestyle. Thinking about it makes me sad.
*sigh* I know, I know, what works for YOU, don't compare, if He's happy...
Funny how memories of shared experiences inspire such different emotions.
