Brace for impact!

The forecast has triple digits this week. The basement is not even close to done. *sigh* It's going to be rough.

On the more positive side, the house is clean and week TWO of the Sunday chores has been accomplished! There's a little pick-up from Girl this afternoon, but that is manageable.

Tuesday, we are getting a new bed. Beloved and I finally gave in to Shado's enthusiasm for a Sleep Number Bed. Holy mackeral is it expensive! Thinking about it makes my gut clench, but...but if it really helps with my back problems, it is probably worth it. Leap of faith and all that good stuff.

Boy has one week of camp left before there are two weeks at home. I'm a little nervous, but there are things lining up to keep us somewhat busy. Somewhere I want to get a little camping trip in, although I'm late looking for a site. Maybe July 6-8?

Counseling continues. I want to jump up and down and brag about how it's all better and I can see clearly now. It's not quite that simple, and I am still dealing with a lot of lows. The last session, we started talking about the polycule and I pulled out the map. "How many of these are still as they were when this was created?" I teared up immediately. Only one of them, and the one is a long-distance romantic friendship tempered by the both of us having primary partners.

Some might claim it isn't necessary, that I am unfairly shutting them out of my life. Sadly, I don't agree. Earl Nightingale authored "The Strangest Secret". He says, we are what we think about.

"You are the little bright spot in my day." When your dominant thoughts are dark and depressed, I cannot bare the weight of that responsibility. Every one of us is the sum total of our own thoughts, and I was getting swallowed up in complicated and bleak thinking. My day starting with worry over someone else's issues or how I might be at fault for the state of chaos. It was killing me. I had to isolate my own emotions, untangle my heart, and walk free. I have to find my own happiness, and you need to find yours.

I have admitted over and over that this is not how I imagined my life would be. This is not how I envisioned my success, and thus, I am not successful here. I am not STUCK here unless I allow myself to be stuck. I have to cut away the fetters and permit myself to soar as I was divinely designed to do.

I am back to considering vision boards...and external, tangible image for myself. What is MY definition of success?

Back to Nightingale and his 30-day test:

1. Write on a card what you want more than anything else. Single goal, clearly defined.
2. Think of it in a cheerful, relaxed and positive way each morning when you get up, and immediately you have something to work towards, something to live for.
3. Stop thinking about what it is you fear, replace it with a positive though – control your thinking.
4. Do more than you have to.
5. Give of yourself more, knowing that your returns will be in proportion to what you sow.
6. Don’t concern yourself with how you are going to achieve the goal, just where are you going. The answers will come to you of their own accord and at the right time.

Remember your card every day.
Act as though it was impossible to fail.
Control your thoughts.
Limitations are self imposed.
Have courage.
Use your imagination.
Become the person you *want* to become.
You have nothing to lose, but you have a whole life to win.
Have faith!