Sunday, November 29, 2009
Shi-ohmygod-i
Okay, if you don't have a FL account, this is going to be pretty useless, but if you DO, go and check out DouglasKent's photos. The ropework is incredible, the girls impossibly flexible, and in general just breath-taking pictures of human artwork!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
A Thanksgiving Love Story
I saw you across a crowded room. Among all the others that were there, the lights seemed to shine down on you alone. I knew then I had to have you for my own. Willingly, you came with me to my home. From the car, I carried you & threw open the door.
Looking at you, I admire your body, your well-shaped legs and breasts. Slowly I remove the wraps from around your body, fitting you like a glove, exposing your tender white skin.
From your neck I remove your charms and I carry you off in my arms to the warm water that awaits. The water cascades down your neck, flowing over your soft breasts then, making your legs glisten with wetness. Droplets of water cover your taut skin. My hands rub your body, running them through the beads of water, making them trickle down off your body.
I place my fingers inside you. You are warm and moist, so ready. I carry your still dripping body to a laying place so that I can put inside you what was well prepared to enter you before we even came through the door.
As soon as I lay you down your legs spread open wide. You are ready now and so am I. I put a little in slowly at first, getting a feel for how much you can take in.
I put in more, you take it willingly. In anticipation, faster and faster I put it in, pushing it in deeply as far as I can, until I can't put any more in, you are so tight, with your legs wrapped tightly, not wanting to release any of it.
I make you so hot for a very long time, until your sweet juices escape from within. Then I taste you, with my tongue at first, your skin is so soft and tender. I taste more of you with my mouth, you are so hot and moist, you taste so good. Your juices coating my mouth, making me drool in anticipation of eating you more, with every taste.
"Oh yes", I say to you,
I must say Grace "Thank God for Butterball turkey.... Amen!"
I hope you and yours have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Looking at you, I admire your body, your well-shaped legs and breasts. Slowly I remove the wraps from around your body, fitting you like a glove, exposing your tender white skin.
From your neck I remove your charms and I carry you off in my arms to the warm water that awaits. The water cascades down your neck, flowing over your soft breasts then, making your legs glisten with wetness. Droplets of water cover your taut skin. My hands rub your body, running them through the beads of water, making them trickle down off your body.
I place my fingers inside you. You are warm and moist, so ready. I carry your still dripping body to a laying place so that I can put inside you what was well prepared to enter you before we even came through the door.
As soon as I lay you down your legs spread open wide. You are ready now and so am I. I put a little in slowly at first, getting a feel for how much you can take in.
I put in more, you take it willingly. In anticipation, faster and faster I put it in, pushing it in deeply as far as I can, until I can't put any more in, you are so tight, with your legs wrapped tightly, not wanting to release any of it.
I make you so hot for a very long time, until your sweet juices escape from within. Then I taste you, with my tongue at first, your skin is so soft and tender. I taste more of you with my mouth, you are so hot and moist, you taste so good. Your juices coating my mouth, making me drool in anticipation of eating you more, with every taste.
"Oh yes", I say to you,
I must say Grace "Thank God for Butterball turkey.... Amen!"
I hope you and yours have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
My ass is clean
My mom was 35 years old when she was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer. For this reason, I endure the fabulous cleansing process of colonoscopies every couple of years, and this was my lucky year. The following may be TMI...you have been warned and will read at your own risk.
I have been on a clear liquid diet since Saturday. I discovered that College Inn makes a new Thai Coconut Curry broth that is AWESOME! Like, it almost made up for the jello, AWESOME! I also decided that I like raspberry jello best out of strawberry, raspberry, apricot, lime, pineapple, and lemon. Oh, and the sugar-free jello really doesn't taste different, but when you are only getting like 800 calories a day, there's really no point. Squirt remains my favorite "lemon-lime" soda.
I did the total purge with TriLyte last night. Don't be fooled by their little "great-tasting variety: Lemon Lime, Orange, Pineapple, Cherry, and Citrus Berry" claim...the stuff still tastes nasty. Taking a tab of zofran and chasing it with a swallow of Squirt made it bearable. Thank you so much to Remmy and Sterling for chatting with me for the three hours that I was stuck in the bathroom!
After finishing, I was sore, sore, sore. I took a hot shower and crawled into bed, but the kids weren't exactly cooperative though the night. Between them and my bowels, I was up a lot and neither Beloved or I got much sleep. He was my absolute hero this morning when he took the kids from 7-8:30 and let me sleep a little more!!!
This morning, I was a light-headed and dizzy, but very calm about the procedure. Beloved walked me into the hospital, saw me signed in, and left. I had to pee in a cup and found out I'm NOT pregnant (surprise, surprise), and then stripped to my skivvies and donned the fashionable gown, and crawled into bed. I left the bed FLAT, left the television OFF, pulled the blanket up, closed my eyes, and waited. *laughs* I don't think the nurses knew what to make of that! They wanted to adjust the bed, teach me how to use the remote control, asked if there was anyone with me... I just shook my head and told them I have a baby at home. All I requested was a warmed blanket and the lights off. Napping is gooooood!
My blood pressure was a cool 109/62, pulse 52 beats/minute BEFORE they gave me drugs.
Happily, I don't remember anything about the procedure. There was one polyp that the found and removed and sent for biopsy, but otherwise I'm good. I DO remember snippets of banter while I was getting dressed...I think we horrified the nurse when Beloved said he should confess his infidelity and I responded by asking if there was someone other than Adaya... *chuckles* I wish I could remember if Beloved blushed.
The one thing that I don't remember, and Beloved has thoroughly enjoyed teasing me about, was whether or not I was "clean". I really did take extra steps and extra fasting because the doctor said there was a note about it on my last report...
Yes, it tripped my trigger about not being "good enough". *sigh* Even inadvertent comments get to me, and it really irritates me that I didn't get that little bit of reassurance. Beloved says I could always call the office...
NOT!
Oh well. I think the pictures look good. *snickers* Yeah, I HAD to share, but you were the one that had to look!
I have been on a clear liquid diet since Saturday. I discovered that College Inn makes a new Thai Coconut Curry broth that is AWESOME! Like, it almost made up for the jello, AWESOME! I also decided that I like raspberry jello best out of strawberry, raspberry, apricot, lime, pineapple, and lemon. Oh, and the sugar-free jello really doesn't taste different, but when you are only getting like 800 calories a day, there's really no point. Squirt remains my favorite "lemon-lime" soda.
I did the total purge with TriLyte last night. Don't be fooled by their little "great-tasting variety: Lemon Lime, Orange, Pineapple, Cherry, and Citrus Berry" claim...the stuff still tastes nasty. Taking a tab of zofran and chasing it with a swallow of Squirt made it bearable. Thank you so much to Remmy and Sterling for chatting with me for the three hours that I was stuck in the bathroom!
After finishing, I was sore, sore, sore. I took a hot shower and crawled into bed, but the kids weren't exactly cooperative though the night. Between them and my bowels, I was up a lot and neither Beloved or I got much sleep. He was my absolute hero this morning when he took the kids from 7-8:30 and let me sleep a little more!!!
This morning, I was a light-headed and dizzy, but very calm about the procedure. Beloved walked me into the hospital, saw me signed in, and left. I had to pee in a cup and found out I'm NOT pregnant (surprise, surprise), and then stripped to my skivvies and donned the fashionable gown, and crawled into bed. I left the bed FLAT, left the television OFF, pulled the blanket up, closed my eyes, and waited. *laughs* I don't think the nurses knew what to make of that! They wanted to adjust the bed, teach me how to use the remote control, asked if there was anyone with me... I just shook my head and told them I have a baby at home. All I requested was a warmed blanket and the lights off. Napping is gooooood!
My blood pressure was a cool 109/62, pulse 52 beats/minute BEFORE they gave me drugs.
Happily, I don't remember anything about the procedure. There was one polyp that the found and removed and sent for biopsy, but otherwise I'm good. I DO remember snippets of banter while I was getting dressed...I think we horrified the nurse when Beloved said he should confess his infidelity and I responded by asking if there was someone other than Adaya... *chuckles* I wish I could remember if Beloved blushed.
The one thing that I don't remember, and Beloved has thoroughly enjoyed teasing me about, was whether or not I was "clean". I really did take extra steps and extra fasting because the doctor said there was a note about it on my last report...
Yes, it tripped my trigger about not being "good enough". *sigh* Even inadvertent comments get to me, and it really irritates me that I didn't get that little bit of reassurance. Beloved says I could always call the office...
NOT!
Oh well. I think the pictures look good. *snickers* Yeah, I HAD to share, but you were the one that had to look!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Power exchange
"Men desire women directly, women to a certain extent seem to desire the desire that men feel for them"
...this reminds me of what I understand of the gorean and indian perceptions of a woman's true power over men. Thus the need for slavery and total hiding of their bodies. Some women honor this power while others use it as one of the few sources of power this culture has left them to use.
I don't see it as my power, I see it as his power if he understands it and isn't afraid or doesn't let ego get in the way. Often times men are afraid that if they allow a women to know how much he desires her it gives her power over him but if you follow this concept through you realize even the strongest of women will go to the ends of the earth to please a man or remain in a place where she truly feels desired. We're really not all that complicated.
The power is also his in the way that a man's desire is more easily satiated, often times fleeting and in the end it can be simply desire. Where as for a woman it evolves more easily into so much more.
This exchange came from Eunice and SirJimA on FetLife. I read this aloud to Beloved and we both agree the insight is fascinating and enlightening. He said, "Perhaps that is why we work so well; after all these years, I still desire you."
*blush*
Carnal aspects aside, I think there is a lot of truth in the thoughts here...at least in my life. I need to feel wanted, needed, and special IN HIS EYES. As his submissive, the work I do around the house and with the kids is bound up as a service to him. As my Dominant, he gives me recognition and reassurance that I'm not "just a housewife" to him.
When I am struggling or feeling overwhelmed, I allow him to set my priorities and give me focus. Sometimes, that has meant he chains me to the bed so that I nap while he takes the kids out. It sounds kind of ridiculous, but I have a tendency to overwork myself and not take proper care of my own needs. The D/s gives him the authority to step in.
He also takes pride in showing me and my work off in the community, and that in turn gives me pride in all that I do.
...this reminds me of what I understand of the gorean and indian perceptions of a woman's true power over men. Thus the need for slavery and total hiding of their bodies. Some women honor this power while others use it as one of the few sources of power this culture has left them to use.
I don't see it as my power, I see it as his power if he understands it and isn't afraid or doesn't let ego get in the way. Often times men are afraid that if they allow a women to know how much he desires her it gives her power over him but if you follow this concept through you realize even the strongest of women will go to the ends of the earth to please a man or remain in a place where she truly feels desired. We're really not all that complicated.
The power is also his in the way that a man's desire is more easily satiated, often times fleeting and in the end it can be simply desire. Where as for a woman it evolves more easily into so much more.
This exchange came from Eunice and SirJimA on FetLife. I read this aloud to Beloved and we both agree the insight is fascinating and enlightening. He said, "Perhaps that is why we work so well; after all these years, I still desire you."
*blush*
Carnal aspects aside, I think there is a lot of truth in the thoughts here...at least in my life. I need to feel wanted, needed, and special IN HIS EYES. As his submissive, the work I do around the house and with the kids is bound up as a service to him. As my Dominant, he gives me recognition and reassurance that I'm not "just a housewife" to him.
When I am struggling or feeling overwhelmed, I allow him to set my priorities and give me focus. Sometimes, that has meant he chains me to the bed so that I nap while he takes the kids out. It sounds kind of ridiculous, but I have a tendency to overwork myself and not take proper care of my own needs. The D/s gives him the authority to step in.
He also takes pride in showing me and my work off in the community, and that in turn gives me pride in all that I do.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Video valium?
I've been blonde since Saturday. I have had a couple of "free" periods that I've suggested going the next step with my hair (blue) and Beloved has shook his head. Not yet...
I finally asked if he just didn't like the idea of blue.
"I have no problem with blue. I just have never had a blowjob from a blonde."
I've been chuckling over that one. Yesterday, he finally got a blowjob from a blonde. I asked if it was any different.
"Not really...but I wish we'd gotten a video of you when you were purple. Maybe we should start a series. When we run out of colors, we could start with strips..."
Oh lord! I'm not so sure about strips! But the rainbow series could be fun....
I finally asked if he just didn't like the idea of blue.
"I have no problem with blue. I just have never had a blowjob from a blonde."
I've been chuckling over that one. Yesterday, he finally got a blowjob from a blonde. I asked if it was any different.
"Not really...but I wish we'd gotten a video of you when you were purple. Maybe we should start a series. When we run out of colors, we could start with strips..."
Oh lord! I'm not so sure about strips! But the rainbow series could be fun....
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
So little time...so much to say!
So little time...just the weekend...and yet I feel like I have so much to say and I don't know quite where to begin!
Friday afternoon...I'll start there. Beloved came home early and let me go out and get my hair cut. It's about chin-length now. I was kinda bummed out because I really wanted to do something shocking and drastic with it, but there just wasn't TIME to do it. I was trying to put on a happy face because we were going to go OUT on a DATE...just us! Frustrated with my hair, I ran home and took a loooooong, hot shower and decided I was just going to make the best of it. I wore my size 16 jeans for the first time in a year (happy dance...I was just fitting into them when I got pregnant, so I've pretty much gotten back to where I started!), a black v-neck shirt, and my black boots. I put my hair up and decided on my jet earrings and silver ear cuffs. I pulled out a necklace, and thought maybe I'd grab Beloved's key...just in case I could talk him into picking up a cord for it...
And I couldn't find it! I could have sworn it was on my dresser...but Boy has taken to playing with the books he can reach up there. Maybe it fell down behind the dresser? I looked...nothing but dustbunnies. Oh gods, what if Boy walked off with it?! I checked my jewelry box just to make sure it wasn't there...cleared the dresser off again. Beloved came in, and I dared to ask if he knew where it was...
"As a matter of fact, I do," he said. He reached into his pocket and pulled it out...on a new cord! He held it up. "Are you sure you want this?"
I almost started crying right there. I nodded, and my voice cracked trying to say "yes!"
He smiled as he tied it around my neck. "Good. You have more than earned it." I kept saying thank you...as we drove to drop the children off, as we drove to the restaurant, as we walked through the mall...Thank you!
For dinner, we went to a place called Todai. J&j had said it had good all-you-could-eat sushi. It was fresh and there was a decent variety, but I choked a little on the cost. *sigh* I'm cheap, what can I say?
We were sitting at the table having gotten our first helping of yummies, when Beloved caught my eye. "I have another gift for you."
I could feel a slight heat on my cheeks. I didn't know this was a gift-giving night. He laughed. "Not for you, it isn't. But maybe I wanted to give you something."
He brought out a simple necklace. Dark-brown cording with lighter brown decorative work on it. The "clasp" was a bead that you fit through a loop. Not something anyone would suspect...
A collar.
He laid it on the table and we talked about it. It is a temporary collar...mostly to be used as a communications tool. When I wear it, certain higher protocols will be expected of me. *wry smile* I could feel the pit opening up in my stomach. What kinds of protocols?
"Mostly what you have been doing when we have been out, like at the DOM or at MTR's."
Okay...but I really wanted specifics. I don't want this to be a trap.
Beloved shook his head. "Neither do I. That isn't fair. So, let's try this and see how it goes. As I discover things I like, I will tell you and we can incorporate them."
When Beloved enters a room or comes to the table, I am to stand and wait until invited to be seated again. Similarly, I am to wait until invited to begin eating.
I am to allow him to open doors for me.
When in the company of other Dominants, I am to lower my eyes.
I am allowed to put the collar on at any time, but only Beloved may take it off or direct me to take it off.
The collar is a means of communication. If I put it on, Beloved may or may not choose to require special service or enforce protocols. If Beloved directs me to don the collar, I am allowed to beg off if I am not in a good place, although I am to submit if Beloved insists. He said he does not want to take advantage of it and have resentment develop or have me get into a place where I end up ripping it off. That is not the goal. Perhaps, in time, if this goes well, he will see about a fancy, more permanent collar...
My head was whirling. He excused himself to get another plate. I touched the collar, picked it up to actually look at it. I pressed the bead through the loop. I looked around and didn't see Beloved. I put the collar down and closed my eyes. Could I... Dare I... What if...
I looked around again before peaking at the collar again. My collar. Beloved's collar. Quickly, I picked it up, put it around my neck, and fumbled to get the bead through the loop. I bit my lip and look up just in time to see Beloved approaching. I jumped to my feet, looking sheepish and shy. Beloved looked at me and smiled.
"Thank you." He sat down and nodded to me, and I sat.
I was floaty and shy and graceless. I stumbled on the protocols and mentally kicked myself repeatedly. Beloved mostly just chuckled at my coltish starts and stops and only once actually corrected me...
But I have earned the next step!
Saturday. I got up with the kids and let Beloved sleep in, although he only slept until about 8:30. He offered to let me nap when the kids went down and I looked at him...what if I wanted to do something else? like mess with my hair? He laughed and said sure...
So while the kids slept, Beloved played his video game and I bleached my hair. I am presently an orangy-honey blonde-ish color. There is blue dye waiting for me, but the bleach process says to wait at least 24 hours before doing another chemical process. *laughs* When Boy saw it, he said, "Momma, you got new hair!" I wonder what he'll think when (if) I go blue...
Beloved and I had a dinner date with Tamin and Nighthawk. I fretted about what to wear, and ended up in all black, which really made the hair stand out. I also found a small amber stone in my jewelry box that practically matches my hair. With some help from Beloved, it got secured to the collar.
Dinner was at Domo77, a hibachi restaurant. While the food was yummy, the environment was not conducive to actual conversation. We chose to go to another place for dessert and talk. Because of an emergency check-in with Boy, I was a bit tardy joining the Doms for dessert, and I felt very much unsure of my place. Could I just join in? No...I was wearing my collar and was supposed to keep my eyes down. It wasn't really a situation where I could serve, either. So, mostly, I just listened. Tamin and Nighthawk asked me about SJW, since their girl is going this year, and I was happy to chatter a little on that. It wasn't until the end of the evening, when energy work came up, that I really pushed to join the conversation... It was interesting to me that Lady Tamin and I seem to have such similar ideas and early experiences...although the background might be vastly different. She didn't volunteer that...It was 11:30 before we got home and to bed.
Sunday was somewhat lost in a tired haze. I wanted to blog, but didn't really get a quiet chance to collect my thoughts. We got the kids down for naps, and Beloved and I joined them. Einhander came over to play video games, I made pizza and did seven loads of laundry, J&j actually showed up to get some of their stuff...*shrug*
So, here it is, Monday, and I'm finally getting most of an hour to write. I need to see if I can get Boy down for a nap and get ready for Game Nite with the poly group tonight...As always, my life marches on! Maybe when I'm dead I'll have time to actually DIGEST what all of this means instead of simply regurgitating it for you, my readers...
Which, if you have actually made it through all of the above babble, thank you for your attention...I'm not sure I'm great entertainment, but I do appreciate your thoughts, shared and unshared. I plan to get some pictures for you soon...
Friday afternoon...I'll start there. Beloved came home early and let me go out and get my hair cut. It's about chin-length now. I was kinda bummed out because I really wanted to do something shocking and drastic with it, but there just wasn't TIME to do it. I was trying to put on a happy face because we were going to go OUT on a DATE...just us! Frustrated with my hair, I ran home and took a loooooong, hot shower and decided I was just going to make the best of it. I wore my size 16 jeans for the first time in a year (happy dance...I was just fitting into them when I got pregnant, so I've pretty much gotten back to where I started!), a black v-neck shirt, and my black boots. I put my hair up and decided on my jet earrings and silver ear cuffs. I pulled out a necklace, and thought maybe I'd grab Beloved's key...just in case I could talk him into picking up a cord for it...
And I couldn't find it! I could have sworn it was on my dresser...but Boy has taken to playing with the books he can reach up there. Maybe it fell down behind the dresser? I looked...nothing but dustbunnies. Oh gods, what if Boy walked off with it?! I checked my jewelry box just to make sure it wasn't there...cleared the dresser off again. Beloved came in, and I dared to ask if he knew where it was...
"As a matter of fact, I do," he said. He reached into his pocket and pulled it out...on a new cord! He held it up. "Are you sure you want this?"
I almost started crying right there. I nodded, and my voice cracked trying to say "yes!"
He smiled as he tied it around my neck. "Good. You have more than earned it." I kept saying thank you...as we drove to drop the children off, as we drove to the restaurant, as we walked through the mall...Thank you!
For dinner, we went to a place called Todai. J&j had said it had good all-you-could-eat sushi. It was fresh and there was a decent variety, but I choked a little on the cost. *sigh* I'm cheap, what can I say?
We were sitting at the table having gotten our first helping of yummies, when Beloved caught my eye. "I have another gift for you."
I could feel a slight heat on my cheeks. I didn't know this was a gift-giving night. He laughed. "Not for you, it isn't. But maybe I wanted to give you something."
He brought out a simple necklace. Dark-brown cording with lighter brown decorative work on it. The "clasp" was a bead that you fit through a loop. Not something anyone would suspect...
A collar.
He laid it on the table and we talked about it. It is a temporary collar...mostly to be used as a communications tool. When I wear it, certain higher protocols will be expected of me. *wry smile* I could feel the pit opening up in my stomach. What kinds of protocols?
"Mostly what you have been doing when we have been out, like at the DOM or at MTR's."
Okay...but I really wanted specifics. I don't want this to be a trap.
Beloved shook his head. "Neither do I. That isn't fair. So, let's try this and see how it goes. As I discover things I like, I will tell you and we can incorporate them."
When Beloved enters a room or comes to the table, I am to stand and wait until invited to be seated again. Similarly, I am to wait until invited to begin eating.
I am to allow him to open doors for me.
When in the company of other Dominants, I am to lower my eyes.
I am allowed to put the collar on at any time, but only Beloved may take it off or direct me to take it off.
The collar is a means of communication. If I put it on, Beloved may or may not choose to require special service or enforce protocols. If Beloved directs me to don the collar, I am allowed to beg off if I am not in a good place, although I am to submit if Beloved insists. He said he does not want to take advantage of it and have resentment develop or have me get into a place where I end up ripping it off. That is not the goal. Perhaps, in time, if this goes well, he will see about a fancy, more permanent collar...
My head was whirling. He excused himself to get another plate. I touched the collar, picked it up to actually look at it. I pressed the bead through the loop. I looked around and didn't see Beloved. I put the collar down and closed my eyes. Could I... Dare I... What if...
I looked around again before peaking at the collar again. My collar. Beloved's collar. Quickly, I picked it up, put it around my neck, and fumbled to get the bead through the loop. I bit my lip and look up just in time to see Beloved approaching. I jumped to my feet, looking sheepish and shy. Beloved looked at me and smiled.
"Thank you." He sat down and nodded to me, and I sat.
I was floaty and shy and graceless. I stumbled on the protocols and mentally kicked myself repeatedly. Beloved mostly just chuckled at my coltish starts and stops and only once actually corrected me...
But I have earned the next step!
Saturday. I got up with the kids and let Beloved sleep in, although he only slept until about 8:30. He offered to let me nap when the kids went down and I looked at him...what if I wanted to do something else? like mess with my hair? He laughed and said sure...
So while the kids slept, Beloved played his video game and I bleached my hair. I am presently an orangy-honey blonde-ish color. There is blue dye waiting for me, but the bleach process says to wait at least 24 hours before doing another chemical process. *laughs* When Boy saw it, he said, "Momma, you got new hair!" I wonder what he'll think when (if) I go blue...
Beloved and I had a dinner date with Tamin and Nighthawk. I fretted about what to wear, and ended up in all black, which really made the hair stand out. I also found a small amber stone in my jewelry box that practically matches my hair. With some help from Beloved, it got secured to the collar.
Dinner was at Domo77, a hibachi restaurant. While the food was yummy, the environment was not conducive to actual conversation. We chose to go to another place for dessert and talk. Because of an emergency check-in with Boy, I was a bit tardy joining the Doms for dessert, and I felt very much unsure of my place. Could I just join in? No...I was wearing my collar and was supposed to keep my eyes down. It wasn't really a situation where I could serve, either. So, mostly, I just listened. Tamin and Nighthawk asked me about SJW, since their girl is going this year, and I was happy to chatter a little on that. It wasn't until the end of the evening, when energy work came up, that I really pushed to join the conversation... It was interesting to me that Lady Tamin and I seem to have such similar ideas and early experiences...although the background might be vastly different. She didn't volunteer that...It was 11:30 before we got home and to bed.
Sunday was somewhat lost in a tired haze. I wanted to blog, but didn't really get a quiet chance to collect my thoughts. We got the kids down for naps, and Beloved and I joined them. Einhander came over to play video games, I made pizza and did seven loads of laundry, J&j actually showed up to get some of their stuff...*shrug*
So, here it is, Monday, and I'm finally getting most of an hour to write. I need to see if I can get Boy down for a nap and get ready for Game Nite with the poly group tonight...As always, my life marches on! Maybe when I'm dead I'll have time to actually DIGEST what all of this means instead of simply regurgitating it for you, my readers...
Which, if you have actually made it through all of the above babble, thank you for your attention...I'm not sure I'm great entertainment, but I do appreciate your thoughts, shared and unshared. I plan to get some pictures for you soon...
Friday, November 13, 2009
Forgive the rant...
BUT I WANT TO SCREAM!
I wish I could just be selfish and not give a rat's ass what others need or think. I wish I could give in to what *I* want every once in a while and not feel horribly guilty about it. I wish I knew what I wanted so I could consider the first two pieces.
*sigh* It's not exactly what I needed, but it's a little better. I blame the fact that it's Friday the 13th. *wry smile* And besides, if I got what I wished for, I wouldn't be Pixie, now would I? sheesh.
I wish I could just be selfish and not give a rat's ass what others need or think. I wish I could give in to what *I* want every once in a while and not feel horribly guilty about it. I wish I knew what I wanted so I could consider the first two pieces.
*sigh* It's not exactly what I needed, but it's a little better. I blame the fact that it's Friday the 13th. *wry smile* And besides, if I got what I wished for, I wouldn't be Pixie, now would I? sheesh.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Journal Prompt
Write down the first 5 things that come to your mind when you think about domestic service to your partner. What is involved in these things? How are they unique?
1) Household management. This is deliberately very broad because if I listed individual chores, I'd take up all five things! Household management is everything from outside chores (yardwork, grocery shopping) to housecleaning to laundry and cooking. This is probably the majority of my domestic service to Beloved and I'm not really sure how it is unique - I have a hard time explaining my submission because this particular service is so vanilla. I suppose it might be unique because of the pride *I* take in the house. I feel that it reflects directly on me rather than Beloved.
2) Personal assistant. I often run errands for Beloved, such as dropping off UPS packages, taking care of specific purchases, and other needs that are generally "business hour" places he doesn't have time to get to. I also manage his calendar and provide social networking for him. Again, this is something I have always done, even before D/s, so I'm not sure it is unique. I enjoy being able to provide the extra time for Beloved, though.
3) Hostess. This is just like it sounds...I play hostess or servant for events ranging from vanilla parties to the DOM. I consider this service to be unique because I try to remember and serve to any special preferences a guest might have.
4) Accountant. Managing the finances, paying bills, keeping the household on a sustainable budget, etc. Because I am detail-oriented, getting the bills paid on time is another service that Beloved expects from me. From my understanding, access to money that I haven't personally earned is somewhat unique in the D/s world.
5) Child-rearing. This is a tender subject. Even five months before I got pregnant with Boy, I declared I never wanted to have children. That opinion changed after spending a lot of time with a couple who were pregnant and some heart-to-heart talks with Beloved. *soft smile* He told me that it was the big family reunions that made him want his own children. I always wanted to adopt, but it was very clear this meant a lot to Beloved. While Beloved and I agreed to have children together, I never dreamed I would be the stay-at-home parent. On the bad days, this is most definitely a service I provide! I feel horribly guilty about those feelings, but there are times when it is Beloved's steady voice and stern direction that keep me from panicking. Please don't get me wrong...I love Boy and Girl! This just isn't exactly what I expected out of my life. Of course, if it weren't for the children, I might never have started this journey in the first place...
1) Household management. This is deliberately very broad because if I listed individual chores, I'd take up all five things! Household management is everything from outside chores (yardwork, grocery shopping) to housecleaning to laundry and cooking. This is probably the majority of my domestic service to Beloved and I'm not really sure how it is unique - I have a hard time explaining my submission because this particular service is so vanilla. I suppose it might be unique because of the pride *I* take in the house. I feel that it reflects directly on me rather than Beloved.
2) Personal assistant. I often run errands for Beloved, such as dropping off UPS packages, taking care of specific purchases, and other needs that are generally "business hour" places he doesn't have time to get to. I also manage his calendar and provide social networking for him. Again, this is something I have always done, even before D/s, so I'm not sure it is unique. I enjoy being able to provide the extra time for Beloved, though.
3) Hostess. This is just like it sounds...I play hostess or servant for events ranging from vanilla parties to the DOM. I consider this service to be unique because I try to remember and serve to any special preferences a guest might have.
4) Accountant. Managing the finances, paying bills, keeping the household on a sustainable budget, etc. Because I am detail-oriented, getting the bills paid on time is another service that Beloved expects from me. From my understanding, access to money that I haven't personally earned is somewhat unique in the D/s world.
5) Child-rearing. This is a tender subject. Even five months before I got pregnant with Boy, I declared I never wanted to have children. That opinion changed after spending a lot of time with a couple who were pregnant and some heart-to-heart talks with Beloved. *soft smile* He told me that it was the big family reunions that made him want his own children. I always wanted to adopt, but it was very clear this meant a lot to Beloved. While Beloved and I agreed to have children together, I never dreamed I would be the stay-at-home parent. On the bad days, this is most definitely a service I provide! I feel horribly guilty about those feelings, but there are times when it is Beloved's steady voice and stern direction that keep me from panicking. Please don't get me wrong...I love Boy and Girl! This just isn't exactly what I expected out of my life. Of course, if it weren't for the children, I might never have started this journey in the first place...
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Silly, shy pixie...
Last Sunday, I slipped on the stairs. I fell off the ladder while taking Halloween decorations down. I did some other asinine thing that a good little vanilla girl would do.
*sigh* Yes, the truth is that I am still a silly, shy pixie. The truth is my husband beat me, and I've been feeling embarrassed about the whole scene. What better thing to do than to put it on the blog, get it out, and maybe in the process figure some things out in my head. Here goes...
When we dropped the children off with Grandma, she asked what we were going to do with our time. Beloved said, "Go home and have sex." I choked; she snickered and told us to have fun. After 15 years, I haven't gotten used to the completely frank relationship there, but I also still blush when Beloved grabs my ass...and after 15 years, he still grabs my ass regularly. Anyhow, we went home and I asked what Beloved wanted to do as he sat down on the couch.
"I plan to put my cock in several of your orifices." This time, I mostly just blushed, dropped to my knees, and reached up to undo his jeans. The sparkle in my eyes betrayed me.
"Going to make this a contest?" I laughed, and didn't answer. He kicked off his jeans, I latched on to his cock, wrapped my arms around his thighs, and didn't stop until he climaxed.
Didn't stop despite his thrashing. Didn't stop despite the hair pulling. Didn't stop despite his throwing himself off the couch, twisting around, dragging me across the room. There was one point that he managed to pin my arms to the floor, only to realize my arms were on top of his legs and he still couldn't escape me. He also managed to stand up partially, but I dragged him back down. He tried begging me to stop and finally...FINALLY promised to be "good" if I'd let him sit in the chair while I licked, sucked, and teased him until he came with an echoing groan.
*giggles* Yes, I was quite please with myself!
Then he shook his head. "There's a switch in you afterall!" What?
"You initiated, you took control, and you did it your way." Oh. um...er...well...I guess I did.
"Don't worry...It was fun. But you did Top me." *ponders*
While I was pondering this, Beloved sat down in front of me.
"I want to try something. Slap me." What?!
"SLAP me. And put something behind it." I gave him a few very playful slaps.
"Slap me, and if you don't put something behind it, then I'll slap you with something behind it!" er...I couldn't do it. It wasn't comfortable. But I did block him when he tried to slap me, which quickly resulted in his pulling me over him and landing a heavy THUD on my ass and the wrestling began.
We both held back...he didn't pin me and avoided most of my chest area (because I'm nursing), I didn't disable him with any crotch-shots...but he punched and slapped me, and I kicked and punched back. There were a couple of back-off moments, teasing feints. At one point, he half-picked me up and I landed on my left shoulder...THAT hurt. A truce was called eventually, and I wasn't nearly as winded as he was and therefore declared myself the "winner"...He rolled his eyes and smiled.
We cuddled a bit, recovering. "Did you enjoy that?"
I could feel my eyebrows knit up. No...er...no...but... But I did. For one thing, Beloved said that I was very strong, and my question about whether or not I could be a victim again was answered. Not easily. If I learned a few pointers about fighting SMART, I would make an attacker's life pretty miserable. THAT made me feel really good. And I felt powerful.
*frowns* Switch? well, maybe...I don't know. I'll have to figure that one out.
I am sporting some interesting bruises. The only GOOD one is on my right arm, but there are a smattering of them everywhere. A lot of them are deep aches. I told Beloved on Monday that I felt like someone had beaten me. He laughed and said he felt the same way.
*wry smile* So that is the real story. It's just taken me a few days to get past the "good little vanilla girl" excuses enough to admit it. And yes, I fully expect a few of you are chuckling at this...
*sigh* What can I say? I'm nothing but a silly, shy pixie.
*sigh* Yes, the truth is that I am still a silly, shy pixie. The truth is my husband beat me, and I've been feeling embarrassed about the whole scene. What better thing to do than to put it on the blog, get it out, and maybe in the process figure some things out in my head. Here goes...
When we dropped the children off with Grandma, she asked what we were going to do with our time. Beloved said, "Go home and have sex." I choked; she snickered and told us to have fun. After 15 years, I haven't gotten used to the completely frank relationship there, but I also still blush when Beloved grabs my ass...and after 15 years, he still grabs my ass regularly. Anyhow, we went home and I asked what Beloved wanted to do as he sat down on the couch.
"I plan to put my cock in several of your orifices." This time, I mostly just blushed, dropped to my knees, and reached up to undo his jeans. The sparkle in my eyes betrayed me.
"Going to make this a contest?" I laughed, and didn't answer. He kicked off his jeans, I latched on to his cock, wrapped my arms around his thighs, and didn't stop until he climaxed.
Didn't stop despite his thrashing. Didn't stop despite the hair pulling. Didn't stop despite his throwing himself off the couch, twisting around, dragging me across the room. There was one point that he managed to pin my arms to the floor, only to realize my arms were on top of his legs and he still couldn't escape me. He also managed to stand up partially, but I dragged him back down. He tried begging me to stop and finally...FINALLY promised to be "good" if I'd let him sit in the chair while I licked, sucked, and teased him until he came with an echoing groan.
*giggles* Yes, I was quite please with myself!
Then he shook his head. "There's a switch in you afterall!" What?
"You initiated, you took control, and you did it your way." Oh. um...er...well...I guess I did.
"Don't worry...It was fun. But you did Top me." *ponders*
While I was pondering this, Beloved sat down in front of me.
"I want to try something. Slap me." What?!
"SLAP me. And put something behind it." I gave him a few very playful slaps.
"Slap me, and if you don't put something behind it, then I'll slap you with something behind it!" er...I couldn't do it. It wasn't comfortable. But I did block him when he tried to slap me, which quickly resulted in his pulling me over him and landing a heavy THUD on my ass and the wrestling began.
We both held back...he didn't pin me and avoided most of my chest area (because I'm nursing), I didn't disable him with any crotch-shots...but he punched and slapped me, and I kicked and punched back. There were a couple of back-off moments, teasing feints. At one point, he half-picked me up and I landed on my left shoulder...THAT hurt. A truce was called eventually, and I wasn't nearly as winded as he was and therefore declared myself the "winner"...He rolled his eyes and smiled.
We cuddled a bit, recovering. "Did you enjoy that?"
I could feel my eyebrows knit up. No...er...no...but... But I did. For one thing, Beloved said that I was very strong, and my question about whether or not I could be a victim again was answered. Not easily. If I learned a few pointers about fighting SMART, I would make an attacker's life pretty miserable. THAT made me feel really good. And I felt powerful.
*frowns* Switch? well, maybe...I don't know. I'll have to figure that one out.
I am sporting some interesting bruises. The only GOOD one is on my right arm, but there are a smattering of them everywhere. A lot of them are deep aches. I told Beloved on Monday that I felt like someone had beaten me. He laughed and said he felt the same way.
*wry smile* So that is the real story. It's just taken me a few days to get past the "good little vanilla girl" excuses enough to admit it. And yes, I fully expect a few of you are chuckling at this...
*sigh* What can I say? I'm nothing but a silly, shy pixie.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Weekend survived...
but the kids are a little strung out. Boy hardly let us sleep at all last night, and Girl has been fussy all day. *sigh* It doesn't help that I bruised my left shoulder and that' the side I carry Girl on...
Hopefully the disappearance of candy will eve things out a little...
Hopefully the disappearance of candy will eve things out a little...
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