I'm feeling uninspired, and this doesn't really inspire me. I doubt any of this is new information to you anyway, so this post is short, sweet, and to the point. I'd rather be:
thrifting
reading
gaming
gardening
sleeping
Done.
I'm off for an all-day " practical seminar with a published author and life coach, featuring discussions and activities to help you plan for a prosperous, healthy, and happy future" at my alma mater. *sigh* I hope I can shake the cynical attitude before I get there!
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
Five Worst Teachers You’ve Ever Had
With more than twenty years of education, you would think this one would be pretty easy for me to answer. I have been pretty blessed with my teachers, though. For the most part, I angle for the "teacher's pet" spot, and that helps. I also am pretty good at ditching bad teachers early in the game. Pondering the question, I think the WORST teachers I've ever had include
my kindergarten teacher.
She was a Catholic nun and (rightfully) concerned that I did not accept my place. Among the sins I regularly committed were my preference for playing with boys instead of girls, tying my shoe with two "bunny ears" (because that's how my dad taught me to do it), and holding my pencil incorrectly (which still draws comments three decades later). I upset her enough that she recommended my parents hold me back another year. Thankfully, my parents were smarter than she was!
my geometry teacher
In second grade, I forgot what the homework was, so I simply did the first 20 pages in the workbook. Through eighth grade, I was ahead in math and completed algebra before high school. I don't know that my TEACHER was really bad at teaching; I think a lot of It wasn't until geometry that I began to hate math. I don't know that I can blame HER; my frustration was due to circumstances and NOT her teaching. Still, it wasn't until this class that I began to hate and dread math. Things that went wrong: I was used to a very small class in junior high, with a lot of focus on individual struggles; here, I was one of 30+ and lost in confusion. I was the ONLY freshman in a class of sophomores, and there was always a smattering of pennies on my desk. My mom had *promised* she would help me through geometry (one of her favorite maths), but she died in early November. *sigh* Math became a scapegoat for my inability to cope with the rest of my world being out of wack.
my European history teacher
You would think that an experienced teacher would realize that first period...or ANY period...for seniors would require a little bit of spark to keep students interested. This teacher didn't even try. I slept through most of this class and managed with Cs because she didn't care enough for me to be bothered with impressing her. *shrug* Bored students is a worse result than failing students, in my opinion.
my organic chemistry teacher
This is one of the teachers I chose to ditch after ONE day in class. *shakes head* The guy walked into an auditorium of students and, with a heavy Asian accent, launched into how important element number four was in organic chemistry. All of life as we know it is based on element number four. Did you know that we are beryillum-based??? *shakes head* The truly sad bit was that the periodic chart was hanging directly over his head. If he couldn't get THAT right, there was no way I was going to struggle through his accent on dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane!
my first sociology professor
Another of those teachers who I chose to drop after just one day in class. This time, it was his superior attitude rather than ineptitude. I can accept that you know more than I do about some things, but I expect you to be open to information or interpretation, even if it IS brought to you by a student. This guy made it very clear that his head was firmly lodged in his ass. *shrug* I found a much more interesting sociology teacher a semester or two later.
my kindergarten teacher.
She was a Catholic nun and (rightfully) concerned that I did not accept my place. Among the sins I regularly committed were my preference for playing with boys instead of girls, tying my shoe with two "bunny ears" (because that's how my dad taught me to do it), and holding my pencil incorrectly (which still draws comments three decades later). I upset her enough that she recommended my parents hold me back another year. Thankfully, my parents were smarter than she was!
my geometry teacher
In second grade, I forgot what the homework was, so I simply did the first 20 pages in the workbook. Through eighth grade, I was ahead in math and completed algebra before high school. I don't know that my TEACHER was really bad at teaching; I think a lot of It wasn't until geometry that I began to hate math. I don't know that I can blame HER; my frustration was due to circumstances and NOT her teaching. Still, it wasn't until this class that I began to hate and dread math. Things that went wrong: I was used to a very small class in junior high, with a lot of focus on individual struggles; here, I was one of 30+ and lost in confusion. I was the ONLY freshman in a class of sophomores, and there was always a smattering of pennies on my desk. My mom had *promised* she would help me through geometry (one of her favorite maths), but she died in early November. *sigh* Math became a scapegoat for my inability to cope with the rest of my world being out of wack.
my European history teacher
You would think that an experienced teacher would realize that first period...or ANY period...for seniors would require a little bit of spark to keep students interested. This teacher didn't even try. I slept through most of this class and managed with Cs because she didn't care enough for me to be bothered with impressing her. *shrug* Bored students is a worse result than failing students, in my opinion.
my organic chemistry teacher
This is one of the teachers I chose to ditch after ONE day in class. *shakes head* The guy walked into an auditorium of students and, with a heavy Asian accent, launched into how important element number four was in organic chemistry. All of life as we know it is based on element number four. Did you know that we are beryillum-based??? *shakes head* The truly sad bit was that the periodic chart was hanging directly over his head. If he couldn't get THAT right, there was no way I was going to struggle through his accent on dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane!
my first sociology professor
Another of those teachers who I chose to drop after just one day in class. This time, it was his superior attitude rather than ineptitude. I can accept that you know more than I do about some things, but I expect you to be open to information or interpretation, even if it IS brought to you by a student. This guy made it very clear that his head was firmly lodged in his ass. *shrug* I found a much more interesting sociology teacher a semester or two later.
Almost there...
Boy is on Spring Break, thus I am on double-duty. So far, we have made crafts at the library, turned the vacuum into a bubble-gun for a house-wide bubble fest, done a climbing club, and an all-day trip to the zoo...on top of my usual workouts and attempts at domestic charm! I'm pooped!
Last night was a pretty amazing treat, though. Hawk-Sir has been dreadfully sick, and Lady Tamin asked if we might be able to use their tickets to Hair. I had about 24-hours notice and I manage to find childcare! The show was just fantastic! Both Beloved and I were laughing and crying. Several of the vocalists were out of this world. The lighting was amazing. Add on that I *love* this show... I am sad that someone's ill fortune was involved, and grateful that I was able to see the production. As Lady Tamin said, the Universe works in mysterious ways.
I still have today's workout, meeting with the nutritionist, and grocery shop today, an all-day seminar at the University tomorrow, and the planetarium and train-pick up on Sunday. One more push, and I'll be able to have a quiet day on Monday...I think. Maybe I'll even get a "challenge" in! hahaha. 30 posts in 30 days in my life? HIL-AR-EEE-OUS!
Last night was a pretty amazing treat, though. Hawk-Sir has been dreadfully sick, and Lady Tamin asked if we might be able to use their tickets to Hair. I had about 24-hours notice and I manage to find childcare! The show was just fantastic! Both Beloved and I were laughing and crying. Several of the vocalists were out of this world. The lighting was amazing. Add on that I *love* this show... I am sad that someone's ill fortune was involved, and grateful that I was able to see the production. As Lady Tamin said, the Universe works in mysterious ways.
I still have today's workout, meeting with the nutritionist, and grocery shop today, an all-day seminar at the University tomorrow, and the planetarium and train-pick up on Sunday. One more push, and I'll be able to have a quiet day on Monday...I think. Maybe I'll even get a "challenge" in! hahaha. 30 posts in 30 days in my life? HIL-AR-EEE-OUS!
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Five Movies You Quote Constantly
This is a funny one because I probably quote movies more than I am consciously aware of. A lot of the quotes end up in the pop-culture realm, though, and we all do it to some extent. Some of my favorites:
Princess Bride
"As you wish." "I do not think it means what you think it means." "Anyone who says differently is selling something." "Have fun storming the castle."
Star Wars
"Do, or do not. There is no 'try'." "Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?" "Let the wookiee win." "I find your lack of faith disturbing." "These aren’t the droids you’re looking for" "May the force be with you."
Austin Powers
A TERRIBLE movie...but I still quote it often enough...
"Oh behave!" "Do I make you horny, baby?" " I won't bite... hard."
The Terminator
"Come with me if you want to live." "There's no fate but what we make for ourselves." "Hasta la vista, baby."
Monty Python
"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries." "It's just a flesh wound." "I got better." "And after the spanking, the oral sex." "Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z'nourrwringmm." "I'm not dead yet." "Look at the bones, man!" "Why do you think I have this outrageous accent?"
Princess Bride
"As you wish." "I do not think it means what you think it means." "Anyone who says differently is selling something." "Have fun storming the castle."
Star Wars
"Do, or do not. There is no 'try'." "Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?" "Let the wookiee win." "I find your lack of faith disturbing." "These aren’t the droids you’re looking for" "May the force be with you."
Austin Powers
A TERRIBLE movie...but I still quote it often enough...
"Oh behave!" "Do I make you horny, baby?" " I won't bite... hard."
The Terminator
"Come with me if you want to live." "There's no fate but what we make for ourselves." "Hasta la vista, baby."
Monty Python
"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries." "It's just a flesh wound." "I got better." "And after the spanking, the oral sex." "Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z'nourrwringmm." "I'm not dead yet." "Look at the bones, man!" "Why do you think I have this outrageous accent?"
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Five Most Annoying Celebrities
hmmm...yet another challenge that I don't know quite how to answer. I simply don't pay much attention to celebrities, in part because I find them all a little annoying. Maybe I can answer with the traits that grate on my nerves.
Money
Probably my number one irritation with an celebrity starts with money. Even those who dole out to charities and causes do so AFTER they have their own luxuries and comforts taken care of. I suppose they can't live "normal" lives because of fans and paparazzi, but the extreme and outlandish lifestyles of the rich and famous are a little sickening to me.
Entitlements
Have you ever had to cater to a celebrity's expectations? I have. No, it wasn't someone top-rung and I am glad it wasn't! The specifications ranged from the brand name of bottled water, the exact number and type of apples, and the temperature of the auditorium. It was a headache and hard to provide for in the small college town I was in. Someone ended up driving 20 miles to a bigger supermarket to find the apples. Also, an empty auditorium heats up when you put 500 bodies in it. oiy! I'm sure that such things only increase with the level of celebrity.
Trendiness
Like, oh my God! Can you believe how yesterday those flare jeans are? How can you bare to be in public in such an out-of-date pair of shoes? Seriously, neon green is the new black! Gag me with a spoon already! I totally accept that I am not trying to be a fashion statement, and that a lot of my wardrobe IS from yesterday's hip style. However, the fads that are set by the rich and famous are all too often expensive. Not everyone can afford to keep up, and it annoys me that the expectation is that I care.
Careless spending
Birthdays, weddings, holidays...any and all of these come with ridiculous and careless spending. It annoys me every single time I see the tabloid stories about the $5000 cake for a 2 year old, the $100,000 leggings and bra pair, the $23,000 per week vacations. These kinds of people have absolutely no concept of what a dollar is worth.
Elitism
*chuckles* I got in trouble a few times in my corporate career because I would approach people with the attitude that, just like me, they put on their pants one leg at a time. Maybe they have someone holding the pants for them, but I just don't believe that people should be treated differently based on wealth or looks or abilities. I had to look her up, but Susan Boyle is one example...Why are we all so surprised? Because she's not pretty? Because she's not young? The fact of the matter is that if you don't look the elite part, there is an automatic dismissal of your potential. How annoying is that?!?
Money
Probably my number one irritation with an celebrity starts with money. Even those who dole out to charities and causes do so AFTER they have their own luxuries and comforts taken care of. I suppose they can't live "normal" lives because of fans and paparazzi, but the extreme and outlandish lifestyles of the rich and famous are a little sickening to me.
Entitlements
Have you ever had to cater to a celebrity's expectations? I have. No, it wasn't someone top-rung and I am glad it wasn't! The specifications ranged from the brand name of bottled water, the exact number and type of apples, and the temperature of the auditorium. It was a headache and hard to provide for in the small college town I was in. Someone ended up driving 20 miles to a bigger supermarket to find the apples. Also, an empty auditorium heats up when you put 500 bodies in it. oiy! I'm sure that such things only increase with the level of celebrity.
Trendiness
Like, oh my God! Can you believe how yesterday those flare jeans are? How can you bare to be in public in such an out-of-date pair of shoes? Seriously, neon green is the new black! Gag me with a spoon already! I totally accept that I am not trying to be a fashion statement, and that a lot of my wardrobe IS from yesterday's hip style. However, the fads that are set by the rich and famous are all too often expensive. Not everyone can afford to keep up, and it annoys me that the expectation is that I care.
Careless spending
Birthdays, weddings, holidays...any and all of these come with ridiculous and careless spending. It annoys me every single time I see the tabloid stories about the $5000 cake for a 2 year old, the $100,000 leggings and bra pair, the $23,000 per week vacations. These kinds of people have absolutely no concept of what a dollar is worth.
Elitism
*chuckles* I got in trouble a few times in my corporate career because I would approach people with the attitude that, just like me, they put on their pants one leg at a time. Maybe they have someone holding the pants for them, but I just don't believe that people should be treated differently based on wealth or looks or abilities. I had to look her up, but Susan Boyle is one example...Why are we all so surprised? Because she's not pretty? Because she's not young? The fact of the matter is that if you don't look the elite part, there is an automatic dismissal of your potential. How annoying is that?!?
Vision Board
I have often mentioned that I am entering into a stage of re-inventing myself. I have looked at school programs and put out resumes, but with little success in finding a path. In a conversation with Beloved yesterday, he said it succinctly. "You have done a wonderful job of bringing them past their infancy on toddler ages. The proof is in how well adjusted and adventurous they are. Now it's time to move on. Time to rediscover your calling. It isn't in being a stay-at-home mom to small children."
This morning, I landed on Christine Kane's web page and downloaded her Complete Guide to Vision Boards
It is an interesting idea. Back in college, our ceramics teacher had us do vision board kinds of projects so we would have ideas for what we wanted to create in class. Unfortunately, this is the sort of thing that makes my neat-freak tic...mismatch images, imperfect cuts, clutter. Oiy. Still...maybe it is time to pull out the scissors and paste and try out a vision board for my life.
The power behind the project is that it focuses on the WHAT, without pushing the HOW. Taking the time to draw it out – vision board it – makes the WHAT indelible in the mind. The theory continues.
I definitely feel like one of the cynics that Christine mentions in the intro. It can't be so simple, or everyone would be doing it. But everyone isn't doing it, and a lot of them are pretty unhappy in life.
It can't hurt...it will cost me a couple of bucks for poster board and some time going through magazines that I'm not going to keep anyway (of snagged from freecycle). So...okay...
The kids and I are going out this afternoon, and there's a Dollar Store nearby. I guess we'll make a side trip. Here's hoping!
Most people never pause long enough to ask themselves what they want. They just let life happen to them. I think this is because most people don’t believe they can really create their own happiness, or their own wealth, or their own anything! ~ Christine Kane
This morning, I landed on Christine Kane's web page and downloaded her Complete Guide to Vision Boards
It is an interesting idea. Back in college, our ceramics teacher had us do vision board kinds of projects so we would have ideas for what we wanted to create in class. Unfortunately, this is the sort of thing that makes my neat-freak tic...mismatch images, imperfect cuts, clutter. Oiy. Still...maybe it is time to pull out the scissors and paste and try out a vision board for my life.
The power behind the project is that it focuses on the WHAT, without pushing the HOW. Taking the time to draw it out – vision board it – makes the WHAT indelible in the mind. The theory continues.
When you surround yourself with images of who you want to become, what you want to have, where you want to live or vacation, your life changes to match those images and those desires. Your attention is that powerful.
I figured that if they didn’t work, the worst thing that could happen would be me feeling stupid. So be it. But if they did work, the best thing that could happen is me feeling happier. It felt like a pretty good risk to take.
I definitely feel like one of the cynics that Christine mentions in the intro. It can't be so simple, or everyone would be doing it. But everyone isn't doing it, and a lot of them are pretty unhappy in life.
It can't hurt...it will cost me a couple of bucks for poster board and some time going through magazines that I'm not going to keep anyway (of snagged from freecycle). So...okay...
The kids and I are going out this afternoon, and there's a Dollar Store nearby. I guess we'll make a side trip. Here's hoping!
Monday, March 26, 2012
Spring break struggles
Bah. Humbug. That's about what I have to say about Boy being on spring break. Unfortunately, it's only mid-afternoon on Monday. It's gunna be a looooong break. :(
Part of it is my own. Insomnia hit hard last night, and despite the pharmaceutical, it was after 2am when I finally got to sleep. That automatically sets me up for a tough day. I don't know if I should talk to my doctor about increasing the dosage or not, but sleep has been becoming more of an issue the last month or so.
I managed to cut about 1/2 my weight "gain" from last week, although I still have some edema going on. I think that my glutton-free choices brought more sodium than I am used to, and I'm relieved to be DONE with that bit of insanity. I had my first wheat at lunch, so we'll see.
The temperature went from low 80s all last week to mid-50s overnight. We've pulled out the sweatshirts and turned the heat back on. *wry smile* Spring in Chicago is ever the roller coaster!
*sigh* a whole lot of venting. I wish I could just go take a nap. Oh well...duty calls.
Part of it is my own. Insomnia hit hard last night, and despite the pharmaceutical, it was after 2am when I finally got to sleep. That automatically sets me up for a tough day. I don't know if I should talk to my doctor about increasing the dosage or not, but sleep has been becoming more of an issue the last month or so.
I managed to cut about 1/2 my weight "gain" from last week, although I still have some edema going on. I think that my glutton-free choices brought more sodium than I am used to, and I'm relieved to be DONE with that bit of insanity. I had my first wheat at lunch, so we'll see.
The temperature went from low 80s all last week to mid-50s overnight. We've pulled out the sweatshirts and turned the heat back on. *wry smile* Spring in Chicago is ever the roller coaster!
*sigh* a whole lot of venting. I wish I could just go take a nap. Oh well...duty calls.
Five Favorite Sandwiches
I am sure that many, many people are going to be surprised that the classic BLT is not on the list. I enjoy a good BLT for sure; after all, it has BACON! Still, I would probably pass it up if one of these was up for offer:
Jimmy John's Vegetarian
Packed with veggies and smeared with avocado and mayo, I really enjoy this sandwich! I specify JJ's because just isn't the same at other sub shops, which don't have avocado (or is really stingy with it) and the hearty, heavy bread.
California Melt
I was looking for sandwich options that cut carbs and this one fits the bill with lots of flavor. I am looking forward to fresh tomatoes to really make this sandwich pop! Four sandwiches are made with 1 avocado, sliced, 1 cup sliced mushrooms, 1/3 cup sliced toasted almonds, 1 small sliced tomato, 4 slices Swiss cheese, four slices of hearty whole grain bread. Put the avocado, tomato, and mushrooms on the bread, top with cheese. Broil the open-face sandwiches until the cheese melts and begins to bubble, about 2 minutes, and add almonds.
Croissant sandwiches
Admittedly, this is more about the bread than the stuff inside. In high school, one my my friends ALWAYS had a beautiful croissant in his lunch, and I was always a little lustful. *grins* I like the light, flaky, subtle crunch of the bread with just about anything. NO tuna salad, please!
Grown-up grilled cheese
My comfort-food sandwich is a grilled cheese, although I have outgrown the American cheese. I make mine with real cheddar slices and a smear of honey mustard. Pair it up with a soup, and voilà! I'm quite the happy kid.
Falafel sandwich
Falafel is a deep-fried ball or patty made from ground chickpeas. Ideally made with a thin pocket pita, this sandwich is packed with healthy proteins from beans. It is topped with greens, cucumbers, tomatoes and drizzled with tahini sauce. Not something I get very often because it's 1) a lot of work, 2) contains allergens for others in the household, and 3) there aren't many ethnic places that make them around here.
Jimmy John's Vegetarian
Packed with veggies and smeared with avocado and mayo, I really enjoy this sandwich! I specify JJ's because just isn't the same at other sub shops, which don't have avocado (or is really stingy with it) and the hearty, heavy bread.California Melt
I was looking for sandwich options that cut carbs and this one fits the bill with lots of flavor. I am looking forward to fresh tomatoes to really make this sandwich pop! Four sandwiches are made with 1 avocado, sliced, 1 cup sliced mushrooms, 1/3 cup sliced toasted almonds, 1 small sliced tomato, 4 slices Swiss cheese, four slices of hearty whole grain bread. Put the avocado, tomato, and mushrooms on the bread, top with cheese. Broil the open-face sandwiches until the cheese melts and begins to bubble, about 2 minutes, and add almonds.Croissant sandwiches
Admittedly, this is more about the bread than the stuff inside. In high school, one my my friends ALWAYS had a beautiful croissant in his lunch, and I was always a little lustful. *grins* I like the light, flaky, subtle crunch of the bread with just about anything. NO tuna salad, please!Grown-up grilled cheese
My comfort-food sandwich is a grilled cheese, although I have outgrown the American cheese. I make mine with real cheddar slices and a smear of honey mustard. Pair it up with a soup, and voilà! I'm quite the happy kid. Falafel sandwich
Falafel is a deep-fried ball or patty made from ground chickpeas. Ideally made with a thin pocket pita, this sandwich is packed with healthy proteins from beans. It is topped with greens, cucumbers, tomatoes and drizzled with tahini sauce. Not something I get very often because it's 1) a lot of work, 2) contains allergens for others in the household, and 3) there aren't many ethnic places that make them around here.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Five Favorite Things To Do Where You Live
Five and a half years ago, I complained that my world shrank significantly. I transformed from a downtown Chicago corporate influence to a Victorian farmhouse stay-at-home mom. I still chafe in this life, but there are some pretty cool things about where I live.
Hosting
The home I have is large enough that I think nothing of hosting a gathering of 20 or 30 people in the middle of winter. When the weather is nice, we can expand that to 40-50, with people hanging out on the porch and chilling in the back yard. With what we have in the house, I can overnight 10 people without notice, and not have anyone sleep on the floor. The house is welcoming and specializes in "shabby" comfort.
Gardening
It took me a few years to get over the expectations of "insta-garden." I can't afford to hire or install overnight fancy landscaping. It is sometimes very frustrating, but I have started some pretty magnificent gardens, and I add a little bit every year. At the end of the "spring" planting season this year, I think I will top 500 perennial plants in my tiny 1/4 acre plot. I have flowers, herbs, vegetables for every season. I have incorporated kid-friendly features (the one I'm trying this year is a bean "tent"). My garden is definitely a favorite space to spend time.
Downtown
No, not Chicago. I am walking distance from the downtown area of our "suburban" city, and thus walking distance from the library (all kinds of programs for both kids and adults), the theater (with first class Broadway shows), community college, parks, and major music festivals. Restaurant Row is slowly growing, and there is a vibrant community of artists. It's been amazing to explore and discover my "new" hometown. We like just walking downtown and popping in to the stores or cafe to see what's happening.
Nature Center
Yeah, guess who has a soft spot for such things? *laughs* The nature center is about 6 miles away, so we usually drive there with the kids, but it also offers all kinds of activities. Situated on 40 wooded acres near the river, we can study local flora and fauna, participate in the Maple Sugar boils, explore a cave, enjoy story times and craft days, and learn about local history. The kids love the "animal room" and we walk the trails on a "letterbox" hunt that the center offers. It's really a cool place to visit!
Master Suite
Okay, this is pretty specific, but I love the bedroom Beloved built for me. We joke that he bought the house for the stairs and I bought the house for the 1905 cast-iron bathtub. It took 18 months, but Beloved tore the disaster space down to the rafters, moved and created walls, and built it out as a small piece of paradise. The color scheme raises some eyebrows, but I love the tropical feel of the room. In contrast, the bathroom is very cool, with gray slate tile, the gleaming white tub, brushed nickle fixtures, and red cherry wood accents. It is wonderful to relax in the room, and everywhere I look I bask in the devotion and love of Beloved.
Hosting
The home I have is large enough that I think nothing of hosting a gathering of 20 or 30 people in the middle of winter. When the weather is nice, we can expand that to 40-50, with people hanging out on the porch and chilling in the back yard. With what we have in the house, I can overnight 10 people without notice, and not have anyone sleep on the floor. The house is welcoming and specializes in "shabby" comfort.
Gardening
It took me a few years to get over the expectations of "insta-garden." I can't afford to hire or install overnight fancy landscaping. It is sometimes very frustrating, but I have started some pretty magnificent gardens, and I add a little bit every year. At the end of the "spring" planting season this year, I think I will top 500 perennial plants in my tiny 1/4 acre plot. I have flowers, herbs, vegetables for every season. I have incorporated kid-friendly features (the one I'm trying this year is a bean "tent"). My garden is definitely a favorite space to spend time.
Downtown
No, not Chicago. I am walking distance from the downtown area of our "suburban" city, and thus walking distance from the library (all kinds of programs for both kids and adults), the theater (with first class Broadway shows), community college, parks, and major music festivals. Restaurant Row is slowly growing, and there is a vibrant community of artists. It's been amazing to explore and discover my "new" hometown. We like just walking downtown and popping in to the stores or cafe to see what's happening.
Nature Center
Yeah, guess who has a soft spot for such things? *laughs* The nature center is about 6 miles away, so we usually drive there with the kids, but it also offers all kinds of activities. Situated on 40 wooded acres near the river, we can study local flora and fauna, participate in the Maple Sugar boils, explore a cave, enjoy story times and craft days, and learn about local history. The kids love the "animal room" and we walk the trails on a "letterbox" hunt that the center offers. It's really a cool place to visit!
Master Suite
Okay, this is pretty specific, but I love the bedroom Beloved built for me. We joke that he bought the house for the stairs and I bought the house for the 1905 cast-iron bathtub. It took 18 months, but Beloved tore the disaster space down to the rafters, moved and created walls, and built it out as a small piece of paradise. The color scheme raises some eyebrows, but I love the tropical feel of the room. In contrast, the bathroom is very cool, with gray slate tile, the gleaming white tub, brushed nickle fixtures, and red cherry wood accents. It is wonderful to relax in the room, and everywhere I look I bask in the devotion and love of Beloved.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Five Favorite Sporting Events
oh god. Seriously?! I'm not much of a sports fan. Actually I'm not any kind of a sports fan. heh. So, how do I pick my favorite sports events?
Super Bowl XX
Do I get sports-geek points for this one? I was nine years old when the Chicago Bears played in the Super Bowl, and I could recite every line of the Super Bowl Shuffle. This is probably the ONLY sports event I have ever been excited about.
Tail-gating sports
There is a culture involved in tailgating that is different than the general society. I don't know quite how it works, but I DO like the laughing banter, the BBQs, the shared sense of excitement. Tailgating is awesome...I don't really care which SPORT it is.
DIY sports
It's not that I don't like sports...I'm just not very appreciative of paying massive amounts of money to sit on uncomfortable seat to watch sports. I would much rather get a bunch of friends together and make bald patches in the yard playing badminton or volleyball. Any of these Do-It-Yourself sports events are more awesome than scoring tickets to a Superbowl or World Series game.
um...I'm kinda at a loss for two more. *shrug* Sports just aren't big in my life if I'm not active with them.
Super Bowl XX
Do I get sports-geek points for this one? I was nine years old when the Chicago Bears played in the Super Bowl, and I could recite every line of the Super Bowl Shuffle. This is probably the ONLY sports event I have ever been excited about.
Tail-gating sports
There is a culture involved in tailgating that is different than the general society. I don't know quite how it works, but I DO like the laughing banter, the BBQs, the shared sense of excitement. Tailgating is awesome...I don't really care which SPORT it is.
DIY sports
It's not that I don't like sports...I'm just not very appreciative of paying massive amounts of money to sit on uncomfortable seat to watch sports. I would much rather get a bunch of friends together and make bald patches in the yard playing badminton or volleyball. Any of these Do-It-Yourself sports events are more awesome than scoring tickets to a Superbowl or World Series game.
um...I'm kinda at a loss for two more. *shrug* Sports just aren't big in my life if I'm not active with them.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Five Things In Life You’d Like An Explanation For
hmmmmm....geez. Back to the thinking stuff. Well, maybe this won't be quite so hard. I would like an explanation for:
why some people just "get" math, music, language, art, etc when others struggle at it.
I wish I was one of the genius class, but I ain't. In high school, I hung out with a bunch of fricken SMART people. The kind of people who are in the top 1% and go on to Harvard, Yale, and Standford. Beloved is simply amazing in his ability to blend creativity and technology. I know people who are fluent in 6 or 7 different languages. Me...I like academics well enough, but some of this stuff crushes my brain cells and gives me nothing but headaches.
why we are here.
Isn't that the age old question? What is our purpose? What is the point to life? This hedges on the question of "God", too, as many possible explanations are religious. I wonder if knowing our purpose would change the way we live.
how the paradigm is shifting.
It is subtle, but the our current way of life is going to be obsolete in a generation. Mr. Scott comes to mind, from Star Trek IV, when he tries to use a Mac. But it's not just things like rotary phones and desk top computers. The very way the brain processes information is *changing*. It is a fascinating concept and I would love to get outside of it to understand how it is happening, how wide-spread the impacts will be...
why commonsense is so often trumped by stupidity.
Everyone has examples of this, but dang it! Brains, people...USE THEM. Hopefully this will be a more integral part of the shifting paradigm.
how people can be so mindlessly, heartlessly mean to others.
This has been a discussion a couple of times between Beloved and me. People are often complimenting us for how smooth and complete our relationship is. We just don't understand how you can live with someone and NOT be courteous to one another. Take that one step further, how can you make a joint decision on marriage and not honor your spouse? Why do people put up with irrational and narcissistic behaviors, even defending them when the problems are pointed out? I just don't understand! Oh well...again, maybe a paradigm shift will help? I hope so!
why some people just "get" math, music, language, art, etc when others struggle at it.
I wish I was one of the genius class, but I ain't. In high school, I hung out with a bunch of fricken SMART people. The kind of people who are in the top 1% and go on to Harvard, Yale, and Standford. Beloved is simply amazing in his ability to blend creativity and technology. I know people who are fluent in 6 or 7 different languages. Me...I like academics well enough, but some of this stuff crushes my brain cells and gives me nothing but headaches.
why we are here.
Isn't that the age old question? What is our purpose? What is the point to life? This hedges on the question of "God", too, as many possible explanations are religious. I wonder if knowing our purpose would change the way we live.
how the paradigm is shifting.
It is subtle, but the our current way of life is going to be obsolete in a generation. Mr. Scott comes to mind, from Star Trek IV, when he tries to use a Mac. But it's not just things like rotary phones and desk top computers. The very way the brain processes information is *changing*. It is a fascinating concept and I would love to get outside of it to understand how it is happening, how wide-spread the impacts will be...
why commonsense is so often trumped by stupidity.
Everyone has examples of this, but dang it! Brains, people...USE THEM. Hopefully this will be a more integral part of the shifting paradigm.
how people can be so mindlessly, heartlessly mean to others.
This has been a discussion a couple of times between Beloved and me. People are often complimenting us for how smooth and complete our relationship is. We just don't understand how you can live with someone and NOT be courteous to one another. Take that one step further, how can you make a joint decision on marriage and not honor your spouse? Why do people put up with irrational and narcissistic behaviors, even defending them when the problems are pointed out? I just don't understand! Oh well...again, maybe a paradigm shift will help? I hope so!
Thursday, March 22, 2012
The life you are trying to read...
has been fricken BUSY today. I'll try blogging challenges tomorrow...maybe. Right now, sleep is a bigger priority! :-)
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Five Favorite Beverages
Yea! An easy one!!! Or at least one I don't need to think too much about it. Unfortunately, it is perhaps not as interesting to the readers...oh well. Blame the challenge! *laughs*
Chai
Literally meaning "mixed-spiced tea", there are TONS of ways that chai can be made. I don't like a heavy cardamom flavor, like Panera Bread's version. My favorite chai drink when I was pregnant was a blended frozen chai made at Borders Books. Sadly, that isn't available anymore. Mystic Chai is a close match, but also hard to get without special-ordering. So...I have broken down and started experimenting with my own concoctions. My current recipe is:
Pixie's Chai Mix
* 1 cup nonfat dry milk powder
* 1 cup powdered non-dairy creamer
* 1 cup French vanilla flavored powdered non-dairy creamer
* 2 1/2 cups white sugar
* 1 1/2 cups unsweetened instant tea
* 2 teaspoons ground ginger
* 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
* 1 teaspoon ground cloves
* 1 teaspoon ground cardamom
In a large bowl, combine milk powder, non-dairy creamer, vanilla flavored creamer, sugar and instant tea. Stir in ginger, cinnamon, cloves and cardamom. In a blender or food processor, blend 1 cup at a time, until mixture is the consistency of fine powder.
To serve: Stir 2 heaping tablespoons Chai tea mixture into a mug of hot water or warm milk.
In December, I needed a 5-gallon bucket to mix the batch I was making! Beloved pointed out that Thai Iced Tea should be on my list, but I'm going to argue that it is a form of spiced tea...
Mint shakes
Shamrock Shake, Arctic Rush Freeze, Frozen Grasshopper...I like them all! Basically it is a slushy ice cream drink with mint flavoring, and it makes me happy.
Classic Coca-Cola
Yes, the stuff that was originally made with cocaine and supposedly can dissolve steel nails (so can water). Can't beat the real thing.
Meade
It isn't often that I drink alcohol, but meade is made from honey, and I have a sweet spot for honey. :-P
Cranberry juice
I don't *always* go for the super-sweet stuff! Sometimes I crave the tart cranberry juice. Straight and on the rocks, please!
Chai
Literally meaning "mixed-spiced tea", there are TONS of ways that chai can be made. I don't like a heavy cardamom flavor, like Panera Bread's version. My favorite chai drink when I was pregnant was a blended frozen chai made at Borders Books. Sadly, that isn't available anymore. Mystic Chai is a close match, but also hard to get without special-ordering. So...I have broken down and started experimenting with my own concoctions. My current recipe is:
Pixie's Chai Mix
* 1 cup nonfat dry milk powder
* 1 cup powdered non-dairy creamer
* 1 cup French vanilla flavored powdered non-dairy creamer
* 2 1/2 cups white sugar
* 1 1/2 cups unsweetened instant tea
* 2 teaspoons ground ginger
* 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
* 1 teaspoon ground cloves
* 1 teaspoon ground cardamom
In a large bowl, combine milk powder, non-dairy creamer, vanilla flavored creamer, sugar and instant tea. Stir in ginger, cinnamon, cloves and cardamom. In a blender or food processor, blend 1 cup at a time, until mixture is the consistency of fine powder.
To serve: Stir 2 heaping tablespoons Chai tea mixture into a mug of hot water or warm milk.
In December, I needed a 5-gallon bucket to mix the batch I was making! Beloved pointed out that Thai Iced Tea should be on my list, but I'm going to argue that it is a form of spiced tea...
Mint shakes
Shamrock Shake, Arctic Rush Freeze, Frozen Grasshopper...I like them all! Basically it is a slushy ice cream drink with mint flavoring, and it makes me happy.
Classic Coca-Cola
Yes, the stuff that was originally made with cocaine and supposedly can dissolve steel nails (so can water). Can't beat the real thing.
Meade
It isn't often that I drink alcohol, but meade is made from honey, and I have a sweet spot for honey. :-P
Cranberry juice
I don't *always* go for the super-sweet stuff! Sometimes I crave the tart cranberry juice. Straight and on the rocks, please!
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Five Things You’d Do If You Had Magical Abilities
With no limits on magical abilities? As in *POOF* I'm a genie with no constraints? Interesting. And tough.
There are things like "make world peace" or "end starvation", but what do those really mean? The strife and struggle in the world are a part of human existence. Morbid, perhaps, but in this case, I gotta side with Agent Smith:
Similarly, I don't know that I would make my life a breeze. After all, magic abilities can easily become crutches. So...with that little bit of philosophical spewage, what would I do if I had magical abilities?
Manage my time
Face it, there are always instances when time is creeping or speeding by and you wish you could change the perceived speed of time. I would love to manage my time a little bit better. That way, I'd be able to blog to you and still get a full-night of sleep or not be late for my fitness classes. That would be pretty magical!
Teleportation
This is right along side with the time management thing. Sometimes it just takes too dang long to get somewhere or I lack the right kind of vehicle to move stuff. One of my current gripes is I don't have a good way to get 8-10 bales of straw or to transport 3-4 yards of mulch to my yard. Occasionally it is a problem because there are 8 people, and a minivan only has 7 seatbelts. Minor things that would just make life much easier.
Copious amounts of patience
Preschool teachers come to mind as role models for the amount of patience I wish I had. Never let them see you sweat! *sigh* My kids see me sweat all the time. So do others. Thus, I would like to have more patience, seemingly endless and totally magical amounts of patience.
Quiet the bitch
Sometimes I can be a complete and total bitch. I do not have (many) qualms about saying it as I see it, especially when I think someone is being inanely stupid. A lot of times, people don't appreciate it. Sometimes the message is appreciated, but my delivery is terrible. Lately, my bitchy side has been a little loud and uncontrolled. Maybe I just need more patience, but I think it would be pretty magical to instinctively know when I should just keep my mouth shut.
Never get stupid sick
I am one of those crazy nutjobs who doesn't do the flu shot, doesn't support herd immunity, and generally utilizes herbal and non-Western medicine before turning to Big Pharma. My reasoning is most that good health comes from a strong immune system, proper hygiene, and paying attention to the body. Am I in perfect health? Hell no! But I also recognize that snoring and eczema are my body informing me that I am not taking care of myself. I appreciate the warnings. That said, I wouldn't mind never having to deal with a common cold or being down because of a flu. Please note the BOLD "a"; these illnesses are caused by a ridiculous number of DIFFERENT TYPES of viruses, which is why the CDC admits "it’s possible that no benefit from vaccination may be observed". Yeah, I have multiple public health degrees...I'm a serious headache in my field. Anyhow, since there's no way to not get the virus and the virus isn't going to really help my immune system, I'd be perfectly happy to not deal with it.
There are things like "make world peace" or "end starvation", but what do those really mean? The strife and struggle in the world are a part of human existence. Morbid, perhaps, but in this case, I gotta side with Agent Smith:
Did you know that the first Matrix was designed to be a perfect human world? Where none suffered, where everyone would be happy. It was a disaster. No one would accept the program. Entire crops were lost. Some believed we lacked the programming language to describe your perfect world. But I believe that, as a species, human beings define their reality through suffering and misery. The perfect world was a dream that your primitive cerebrum kept trying to wake up from.
Similarly, I don't know that I would make my life a breeze. After all, magic abilities can easily become crutches. So...with that little bit of philosophical spewage, what would I do if I had magical abilities?
Manage my time
Face it, there are always instances when time is creeping or speeding by and you wish you could change the perceived speed of time. I would love to manage my time a little bit better. That way, I'd be able to blog to you and still get a full-night of sleep or not be late for my fitness classes. That would be pretty magical!
Teleportation
This is right along side with the time management thing. Sometimes it just takes too dang long to get somewhere or I lack the right kind of vehicle to move stuff. One of my current gripes is I don't have a good way to get 8-10 bales of straw or to transport 3-4 yards of mulch to my yard. Occasionally it is a problem because there are 8 people, and a minivan only has 7 seatbelts. Minor things that would just make life much easier.
Copious amounts of patience
Preschool teachers come to mind as role models for the amount of patience I wish I had. Never let them see you sweat! *sigh* My kids see me sweat all the time. So do others. Thus, I would like to have more patience, seemingly endless and totally magical amounts of patience.
Quiet the bitch
Sometimes I can be a complete and total bitch. I do not have (many) qualms about saying it as I see it, especially when I think someone is being inanely stupid. A lot of times, people don't appreciate it. Sometimes the message is appreciated, but my delivery is terrible. Lately, my bitchy side has been a little loud and uncontrolled. Maybe I just need more patience, but I think it would be pretty magical to instinctively know when I should just keep my mouth shut.
Never get stupid sick
I am one of those crazy nutjobs who doesn't do the flu shot, doesn't support herd immunity, and generally utilizes herbal and non-Western medicine before turning to Big Pharma. My reasoning is most that good health comes from a strong immune system, proper hygiene, and paying attention to the body. Am I in perfect health? Hell no! But I also recognize that snoring and eczema are my body informing me that I am not taking care of myself. I appreciate the warnings. That said, I wouldn't mind never having to deal with a common cold or being down because of a flu. Please note the BOLD "a"; these illnesses are caused by a ridiculous number of DIFFERENT TYPES of viruses, which is why the CDC admits "it’s possible that no benefit from vaccination may be observed". Yeah, I have multiple public health degrees...I'm a serious headache in my field. Anyhow, since there's no way to not get the virus and the virus isn't going to really help my immune system, I'd be perfectly happy to not deal with it.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Five Dream Jobs
Seriously, how appropriate is this? I'm in the midst of working throughthis question, and it isn't exactly as easy as it would seem. What do I want to do when I grow up?
For it to be a DREAM job, I am going to eliminate certain factors. Money doesn't matter...a dream job is all about doing what you want to be doing without stressing over the take-home. I am also not going to be concerned with skill-sets or realistic logistics for said dream job. It's a dream!
Café chef - owner
I love to cook and experiment. I love making people happy and being a part of the action (although not necessarily leader of the action). I see cafés as being meeting places, the neighborhood hub, the conversation matrix, the rendez-vous spot, the networking source, a place to relax or to refuel - the social and political pulse of the city. Combine that with a fun, creative outlet for food, and POOF! I think that sounds like a fantastic way to live. Café de Flore, Cafe Jen, Kafein...all great examples.
Bereavement doula
Usually thought of as part of pregnancy and childbirth, the word "doula" comes from the ancient Greek meaning "a woman who serves" and is now used to refer to a trained and experienced professional who provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support. There is a growing number of bereavement doulas as well, and this intrigues me. This is probably more of a psychological-ministry calling, rather than the mortuary science realm. My own beliefs about death and preparing for death are not exactly the norm. *wry smile* Death is the ultimate adventure, so utterly amazing that few come back from it. How do we prepare for this journey? How do we prepare our loved ones for our leaving? How do we celebrate the time we have shared with someone who has left footprints in our souls? How do we accept the grief and anger and resignation? I have lost many people in my 35 years of life, and each death has been incredibly different. I think that being a part of this final chapter for people and helping them see the beauty of the passage would be incredible.
Political leader
Face it...we all think the world is pretty screwed up. We all have grumbles about politicians and the system. Admitting a desire to be a part of this is tricky. I've BEEN in politics and the meetings about meetings about The Meeting is just BS. That is not the kind of work I am interested in. My "dream job" political leader is more modeled after people we genuinely admire. Franklin D. Roosevelt, Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, Jane Goodall, Nelson Mandela. These political leaders changed the world in ways we all admire.
Writer
This is a funny one because I am pretty confident I have most of the skills necessary to DO IT. I don't because I lack the confidence in what I have to say. Orts, scintilla, fragments drift through my thoughts, occasionally carrying a modicum of elucidation...*laughs* The language is there, perhaps...I dunno. :-P Follow-through and endurance are lacking traits in any of my writing.
Pioneer
A trailblazer, an explorer. I'm interested in living off the grid, inspiring enlightened living, improving people's lives, cross-connecting people so we could actually survive if (and when) the grid goes down. Things like local currency, wildcrafting, homesteading. It isn't exactly "pioneer" since there are lot of people moving in this direction, but I would like to be a part of the movement, I think. Again, I dunno. There are a lot of wackos involved, too. :-S
For it to be a DREAM job, I am going to eliminate certain factors. Money doesn't matter...a dream job is all about doing what you want to be doing without stressing over the take-home. I am also not going to be concerned with skill-sets or realistic logistics for said dream job. It's a dream!
Café chef - owner
I love to cook and experiment. I love making people happy and being a part of the action (although not necessarily leader of the action). I see cafés as being meeting places, the neighborhood hub, the conversation matrix, the rendez-vous spot, the networking source, a place to relax or to refuel - the social and political pulse of the city. Combine that with a fun, creative outlet for food, and POOF! I think that sounds like a fantastic way to live. Café de Flore, Cafe Jen, Kafein...all great examples.
Bereavement doula
Usually thought of as part of pregnancy and childbirth, the word "doula" comes from the ancient Greek meaning "a woman who serves" and is now used to refer to a trained and experienced professional who provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support. There is a growing number of bereavement doulas as well, and this intrigues me. This is probably more of a psychological-ministry calling, rather than the mortuary science realm. My own beliefs about death and preparing for death are not exactly the norm. *wry smile* Death is the ultimate adventure, so utterly amazing that few come back from it. How do we prepare for this journey? How do we prepare our loved ones for our leaving? How do we celebrate the time we have shared with someone who has left footprints in our souls? How do we accept the grief and anger and resignation? I have lost many people in my 35 years of life, and each death has been incredibly different. I think that being a part of this final chapter for people and helping them see the beauty of the passage would be incredible.
Political leader
Face it...we all think the world is pretty screwed up. We all have grumbles about politicians and the system. Admitting a desire to be a part of this is tricky. I've BEEN in politics and the meetings about meetings about The Meeting is just BS. That is not the kind of work I am interested in. My "dream job" political leader is more modeled after people we genuinely admire. Franklin D. Roosevelt, Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, Jane Goodall, Nelson Mandela. These political leaders changed the world in ways we all admire.
Writer
This is a funny one because I am pretty confident I have most of the skills necessary to DO IT. I don't because I lack the confidence in what I have to say. Orts, scintilla, fragments drift through my thoughts, occasionally carrying a modicum of elucidation...*laughs* The language is there, perhaps...I dunno. :-P Follow-through and endurance are lacking traits in any of my writing.
Pioneer
A trailblazer, an explorer. I'm interested in living off the grid, inspiring enlightened living, improving people's lives, cross-connecting people so we could actually survive if (and when) the grid goes down. Things like local currency, wildcrafting, homesteading. It isn't exactly "pioneer" since there are lot of people moving in this direction, but I would like to be a part of the movement, I think. Again, I dunno. There are a lot of wackos involved, too. :-S
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Breathe...
Okay...so it was one loooooooooooooooong weekend around here. Starting at about 1pm on Friday, there was company until 2pm Sunday. It was awesome, for sure, but such things tend to leave me ragged at the edges. Sometimes I let my feelings overwhelm my sense.
Thus, I dragged up a friend on FaceBook who had two postings I figure I needed to remind myself of:
Certainly I value the opinions of most people, but there are some who I just shouldn't give a piss about. *sigh* Saying it is easier than doing it, but it's a start. :-P
I figure I can start getting back on the Challenges tomorrow...maybe. There's a lot on my plate in recovering from the weekend!
Thus, I dragged up a friend on FaceBook who had two postings I figure I needed to remind myself of:
Certainly I value the opinions of most people, but there are some who I just shouldn't give a piss about. *sigh* Saying it is easier than doing it, but it's a start. :-P
I figure I can start getting back on the Challenges tomorrow...maybe. There's a lot on my plate in recovering from the weekend!
Thursday, March 15, 2012
And the diagnosis is...
X-rays from Tuesday reveal a narrowing in my spinal canal...the center of the spinal column...which presses on the nerves. Medically, the doctor suspects lumbar spine stenosis...a common sign of aging that is usually seen in people over 50.
I am 35. As Beloved so nicely put it, "Old} at 35. Oh boy is this gunna be a long slide."
Requests for physical therapy are being submitted to the HMO and we'll see how things go. For now, I basically keep doing what I'm doing...wear a brace when lifting or exercising, be aware when lifting or bending for the kids, ice or heat as it feels good, and take an anti-inflammatory and a muscle relaxant as needed.
*dramatic sigh* Perhaps this will get me out of changing cat pans and shoveling snow? No? *laughs* Oh well...Always look on the bright side of life...
On a slightly different note, I am excited to discover that I'm not crazy for saying that I am allergic to my own sweat! Ha! It is a condition called cholinergic urticaria: patients with cholinergic urticaria have been seen to have an IgE mediated allergy to their own sweat. How about *that*, Mr. Doubting Mustafa?
I am 35. As Beloved so nicely put it, "Old} at 35. Oh boy is this gunna be a long slide."
Requests for physical therapy are being submitted to the HMO and we'll see how things go. For now, I basically keep doing what I'm doing...wear a brace when lifting or exercising, be aware when lifting or bending for the kids, ice or heat as it feels good, and take an anti-inflammatory and a muscle relaxant as needed.
*dramatic sigh* Perhaps this will get me out of changing cat pans and shoveling snow? No? *laughs* Oh well...Always look on the bright side of life...
On a slightly different note, I am excited to discover that I'm not crazy for saying that I am allergic to my own sweat! Ha! It is a condition called cholinergic urticaria: patients with cholinergic urticaria have been seen to have an IgE mediated allergy to their own sweat. How about *that*, Mr. Doubting Mustafa?
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
challenge fail
I know...I even started it...but I am not going to get the challenge post up tonight. Between SUCCESSFUL potty-ing with Girl, an unexpected 2 hours at the hospital for x-rays, and now discovering "cat-style revenge" in the basement, my priorities are elsewhere this evening. Ah well...life, right?
Mornings aren't my thing
I simply don't have the morning gene. Today, I woke up at 5am and was unable to go back to sleep. I gave up the attempt at about 5:30am and slipped downstairs, took my vitamins, started coffee, did some good stretching, got Boy's lunch made, and made a full breakfast of bacon, eggs, and hashbrowns. The sun is shining, it's supposed to be near 70F today (second day in a row). It all *sounds* pretty good, right?
So why am I grumbling and grumpy and grouchy? There is simply no reason for it! It's simply "morning" and mornings aren't my thing. The best part of waking up is lying in the sunbeams as they creep over my bed and NOT getting up.
I've started my challenge post for today, but haven't finished. Maybe I'll be inspired after getting some laundry started or clearing the pool table or my scheduled doctor's visit or dinner company departing or the kids' bedtime. Eh...it will get finished SOMEWHERE in there, right? In the meantime, I decided I needed a change around here. I liked the sun-moon batik by artspell...what do you think?
So why am I grumbling and grumpy and grouchy? There is simply no reason for it! It's simply "morning" and mornings aren't my thing. The best part of waking up is lying in the sunbeams as they creep over my bed and NOT getting up.
I've started my challenge post for today, but haven't finished. Maybe I'll be inspired after getting some laundry started or clearing the pool table or my scheduled doctor's visit or dinner company departing or the kids' bedtime. Eh...it will get finished SOMEWHERE in there, right? In the meantime, I decided I needed a change around here. I liked the sun-moon batik by artspell...what do you think?
Monday, March 12, 2012
Five Trends/Styles You Abhor
mmmm...well, to start, I looked up what constitutes a trend: any form of behavior that develops among a large population and is collectively followed with enthusiasm for some period, generally as a result of the behavior's being perceived as novel in some way. Okay. I can work with that.
Being thrifty
*sigh* I try to soothe my disappointments with the knowledge that I was ahead of my times, but still...it's frustrating! I have been shopping the thrift stores and garage sales most of my life. It used to be that my funky wardrobe and thrift claims were looked down on. The economy crashes, and all the sudden my favorite spots are crowded and magazines are talking about how "green" it is and the prices are soaring! WTF!
Text-ese
Thank you StormDog for naming this one, because BOY does it irritate me. This is a horrifying atrocity born out of the text-messaging technology. It drops consonants, vowels and punctuation and makes no distinction between letters and numbers in order to produce ultra-concise words and sentiments. Occasionally I will use an LOL, but omgih8 the abuse here. Unfortunately, I don't really see this being a trend...it is not going to go away...
Neon
oh lord...I survived this back in the 80s...why does NEON have to be coming back?!? The number of people who can actually pull of wearing neon colors is ridiculously few, so why...? I guess it falls into "novel"...damn it. Maybe it will be short-lived?
There's an APP for that!
Okay, I can appreciate wanting convenience and what is more convenient than a $1-10 application you can install on your smartphone to have at your fingertips when you most need it? The problem I have with the trend is the surfeit. It seems that no matter what the inconvenience is, there's an ap for that. The apps I have used include map, camera, weather. *shrug* I don't have a problem asking other people for assistance, but then I always have been weird!
Fear mongering
I am very frustrated with the paranoia that is everywhere. I have not yet banished my own annoying gnat from the back of my mind. I bite my tongue when I'm told I should lock the doors. I skirt the "child endangerment" laws because my nekkid kids haven't mastered the latch on the screen door in back, so they run around to the front when they are done making mud pies.
Being thrifty
*sigh* I try to soothe my disappointments with the knowledge that I was ahead of my times, but still...it's frustrating! I have been shopping the thrift stores and garage sales most of my life. It used to be that my funky wardrobe and thrift claims were looked down on. The economy crashes, and all the sudden my favorite spots are crowded and magazines are talking about how "green" it is and the prices are soaring! WTF!
Text-ese
Thank you StormDog for naming this one, because BOY does it irritate me. This is a horrifying atrocity born out of the text-messaging technology. It drops consonants, vowels and punctuation and makes no distinction between letters and numbers in order to produce ultra-concise words and sentiments. Occasionally I will use an LOL, but omgih8 the abuse here. Unfortunately, I don't really see this being a trend...it is not going to go away...
Neon
oh lord...I survived this back in the 80s...why does NEON have to be coming back?!? The number of people who can actually pull of wearing neon colors is ridiculously few, so why...? I guess it falls into "novel"...damn it. Maybe it will be short-lived?
There's an APP for that!
Okay, I can appreciate wanting convenience and what is more convenient than a $1-10 application you can install on your smartphone to have at your fingertips when you most need it? The problem I have with the trend is the surfeit. It seems that no matter what the inconvenience is, there's an ap for that. The apps I have used include map, camera, weather. *shrug* I don't have a problem asking other people for assistance, but then I always have been weird!
Fear mongering
I am very frustrated with the paranoia that is everywhere. I have not yet banished my own annoying gnat from the back of my mind. I bite my tongue when I'm told I should lock the doors. I skirt the "child endangerment" laws because my nekkid kids haven't mastered the latch on the screen door in back, so they run around to the front when they are done making mud pies.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Poly Family Brunch Potluck
The kids and I made it to the Chicago Poly Family Brunch Potluck today and had a really good time! I was a little nervous about going without Beloved, who got a late-night HEEEELLLPPPP call to fix ceiling damage today. Most of my reservation centered around a former lover and his wife were also attending...sadly, things ended with jagged edges I refuse to apologize for...but I was delighted to see so many of my other friends. Boy and Girl had a fantastic time running with the literal pack of other kids. Inside, there were train tracks to assemble and unfamiliar toys to check out...outside, there was chalk and tastes of spring (no jackets, no socks, no shoes!). I got to make our wonderful hostess squeal with delight because I rolled up my sleeves and washed dishes (come on, who doesn't like making a woman squeal?).
Disbelief set in when my sweet children didn't nap on the 90 minute drive back AND begged to stop at the park before we got home. Oiy! This has been a busy weekend of swimming, playing, running. I'm exhausted. How am I going to survive Spring Break, let alone summer?!?! First thing I plan to do is look into summer camps...after my nap... :-P
Other, non-challenge news:
* A WHOLE WEEK of workouts (made it to the gym 5 times!), and I am not sore. It is a focus on the treadmill with interval training, which means nothing over 10lb dumb bells, so I really doubt I can over-do the workout (good-bye 45lb kettlebells!)
* I lost 2 pounds in the last week! w00t! I'm tired, yes, but maybe this time I can make enough progress on the scale to keep with it.
* Working with a nutritionist has been interesting. Less because I am actually learning things I didn't know before (I've actually taught HER a couple of things), and more because she is inspiring more courage in experimenting with the family diet. *smirks* Beloved has been constructively critical and generally supportive of trying the concoctions I've been cooking up. Hey...the scrambled tofu was actually really good!
* With the mild winter and highs in the 70s this week, my garden is on the verge of bursting into color. I'm very excited!
Disbelief set in when my sweet children didn't nap on the 90 minute drive back AND begged to stop at the park before we got home. Oiy! This has been a busy weekend of swimming, playing, running. I'm exhausted. How am I going to survive Spring Break, let alone summer?!?! First thing I plan to do is look into summer camps...after my nap... :-P
Other, non-challenge news:
* A WHOLE WEEK of workouts (made it to the gym 5 times!), and I am not sore. It is a focus on the treadmill with interval training, which means nothing over 10lb dumb bells, so I really doubt I can over-do the workout (good-bye 45lb kettlebells!)
* I lost 2 pounds in the last week! w00t! I'm tired, yes, but maybe this time I can make enough progress on the scale to keep with it.
* Working with a nutritionist has been interesting. Less because I am actually learning things I didn't know before (I've actually taught HER a couple of things), and more because she is inspiring more courage in experimenting with the family diet. *smirks* Beloved has been constructively critical and generally supportive of trying the concoctions I've been cooking up. Hey...the scrambled tofu was actually really good!
* With the mild winter and highs in the 70s this week, my garden is on the verge of bursting into color. I'm very excited!
Five Languages You Wish You Were Fluent In
*laughs* Since I am ONLY fluent in English, this is a pretty easy challenge!
Spanish
It would be so much easier to land a job if I spoke Spanish! Being in a social service, most of the job descriptions say "bilingual preferred" or something along those lines. I'm not. How many employers have passed me by because of that?
Chinese
I know a few phrases, and that always leads to questions and I have to admit that I only know enough to be polite. ni hao. zai jian. xie xie. bu ke qi. That's about it. This, from the most commonly spoken language in the world. *sigh* Besides, most of the highly emotional expressions in FireFly come from Chinese.
German
There isn't really a popular reason for wanting to speak German, but since I spend time on Brettspielwelt, it would be handy on occasion.
French
This is the only language I ever took an actual class in. Unfortunately, the instructor was a RUSSIAN who had lived in SWITZERLAND. The resulting accent was completely unrecognizable. I squeaked by with a C- and was grateful that I was earning a science degree! Still...I wouldn't mind being fluent.
Português
Porque aparentemente eu tenho um admirador internacional e eu acho que seria fantástico para conhecer essa pessoa. *sorrisos* Como é, o Google Translate é uma grande assistência!
Legalese
For those who don't count Portuguese, I worked in politics...reading though bills and laws is a serious pain in the ass! If I were fluent in the language of legal documents, such work wouldn't be such a chore! oiy!
Spanish
It would be so much easier to land a job if I spoke Spanish! Being in a social service, most of the job descriptions say "bilingual preferred" or something along those lines. I'm not. How many employers have passed me by because of that?
Chinese
I know a few phrases, and that always leads to questions and I have to admit that I only know enough to be polite. ni hao. zai jian. xie xie. bu ke qi. That's about it. This, from the most commonly spoken language in the world. *sigh* Besides, most of the highly emotional expressions in FireFly come from Chinese.
German
There isn't really a popular reason for wanting to speak German, but since I spend time on Brettspielwelt, it would be handy on occasion.
French
This is the only language I ever took an actual class in. Unfortunately, the instructor was a RUSSIAN who had lived in SWITZERLAND. The resulting accent was completely unrecognizable. I squeaked by with a C- and was grateful that I was earning a science degree! Still...I wouldn't mind being fluent.
Português
Porque aparentemente eu tenho um admirador internacional e eu acho que seria fantástico para conhecer essa pessoa. *sorrisos* Como é, o Google Translate é uma grande assistência!
Legalese
For those who don't count Portuguese, I worked in politics...reading though bills and laws is a serious pain in the ass! If I were fluent in the language of legal documents, such work wouldn't be such a chore! oiy!
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Five Reasons You Feel The Way You Do Right Now
mmmmmm...This means I have to explain how I feel right now, and that is always pretty complex. Maybe I'll touch on the first five that come to mind and explain them?
Proud
Most parents can understand this one...I am extremely proud of my kids. They are polite, empathetic, smart, friendly, creative, and very self-sufficient for their ages. I know I express frustrations with them and motherhood often, but as individuals, I am generally proud to say "These are my kids!"
Crampy
heh. It's moontime. 'Nough said!
Lazy
Saturday morning, who doesn't feel a little lazy? I'd like to crawl back in bed and spend the day doing nothing. The to-do list is a little long for that, though. Oh well...
Frustrated
That forementioned to-do list is NEVER done. There's always another load of laundry, toys to be picked up, yardwork to be done, or floors to scrub. That's just the day-to-day stuff, too. It doesn't go into major projects that the City likes to remind me about once in a while...the peeling paint on the windows and garage, the chipped siding, the unfinished window wells. Inside, there are unfinished projects as well. GAH! There's never enough time and money to get it all done!
Grateful
But ya know something? I am grateful for the life I have. My position in life is enviable, in my opinion. Beloved gives so much of himself to make it possible. Our friends lend a hand when we ask for help. Our kids are healthy. Our leisure time is not idle by our own choice. In general, life is full of possibility and potential, and it is only limited by me. *wry smile* Sometimes that is overwhelming...but I am grateful to have that kind of problem in the Big Picture.
Proud
Most parents can understand this one...I am extremely proud of my kids. They are polite, empathetic, smart, friendly, creative, and very self-sufficient for their ages. I know I express frustrations with them and motherhood often, but as individuals, I am generally proud to say "These are my kids!"
Crampy
heh. It's moontime. 'Nough said!
Lazy
Saturday morning, who doesn't feel a little lazy? I'd like to crawl back in bed and spend the day doing nothing. The to-do list is a little long for that, though. Oh well...
Frustrated
That forementioned to-do list is NEVER done. There's always another load of laundry, toys to be picked up, yardwork to be done, or floors to scrub. That's just the day-to-day stuff, too. It doesn't go into major projects that the City likes to remind me about once in a while...the peeling paint on the windows and garage, the chipped siding, the unfinished window wells. Inside, there are unfinished projects as well. GAH! There's never enough time and money to get it all done!
Grateful
But ya know something? I am grateful for the life I have. My position in life is enviable, in my opinion. Beloved gives so much of himself to make it possible. Our friends lend a hand when we ask for help. Our kids are healthy. Our leisure time is not idle by our own choice. In general, life is full of possibility and potential, and it is only limited by me. *wry smile* Sometimes that is overwhelming...but I am grateful to have that kind of problem in the Big Picture.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Five People You’d Like To Kill
Definitely should have looked at the topics more closely. I don't know I can answer this one. It isn't that I worry about offending anyone; rather...I know some of what happens when you kill someone. I'm quite certain that the author of this challenge didn't mean LITERALLY, but I choose not to dealing with petty irritations and dramatizing them.
I guess today is a "day off". :-P
I guess today is a "day off". :-P
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Five Biggest Fictional Crushes
Oh dear...maybe I should have read these topics more closely??? Some of my fictional crushes have been a little cliche and embarrassing... Well, I can claim youth, right? *chuckles* Honestly, I had to think and dig a little for FIVE...Most of my fictional enjoyment highlights strong female characters, and while I enjoy them as role models, I don't exactly "crush" on them.
Jean-Luc Picard
Definitely at the top of the list, the Star Trek - Next Generation captain held my fascination for many of my early teen years. Someone is probably laughing, knowingly even, but the aloof authority figure who harbors deep feelings still holds appeal to my romantic side. Let me melt through the exterior, let me take you where no one has gone before...*blush* yeah... I still love Earl Grey tea, too.
Nick Knight
I imagine every girl has a crush on some vampire character at some point, and Nick Knight was mine. I've tried to go back and watch the series, and while the show is a little campy, Knight still strikes a sympathetic cord for me. The struggle to control the monster within and the search for personal nirvana is a strong drive.
Vanyel Ashkevron
This is the protagonist in Mercedes Lackey's The Last Herald Mage trilogy. While decidedly gay, Van has a lot of similarities to Picard: authoritative, powerful, aloof...AND magical and tragic to boot! His story starts when he is sixteen years old, so he was even my own age. What's not to like?
Sam Gribley
I don't know if Sam counts as a crush...but I certainly imagined his story as my own. I mentioned Jean Craighead George's book, My Side of the Mountain, among my favorite books. Here is a boy who has enough hutzpah and knowledge to survive ALONE in the mountains. He makes a home by burning out a tree hollow, trains his own falcon, and eventually teaches the grown-ups who find him how to live with the land. ♪♪♪AWE-SOME♪♪♪
Achilles
I think I'm reaching at this point, but the tragic hero holds some appeal. Being born to be the gods' pawn has got to be tough, especially when you are recorded as the handsomest hero of a nation. The rage and agony of losing so much (Briseis, his lover-slave, Patroclus, his best friend, and Penthesilia, the Amazon queen) makes you sympathetic to the war hero, despite the berserk viciousness. Homer's Iliad is not a book I can see myself re-reading...EVER...but like the Arthurian legends, there are many stories that highlight Achilles. I'll admit that Brad Pitt's Achilles is damnably pretty...
Jean-Luc Picard
Definitely at the top of the list, the Star Trek - Next Generation captain held my fascination for many of my early teen years. Someone is probably laughing, knowingly even, but the aloof authority figure who harbors deep feelings still holds appeal to my romantic side. Let me melt through the exterior, let me take you where no one has gone before...*blush* yeah... I still love Earl Grey tea, too.
Nick Knight
I imagine every girl has a crush on some vampire character at some point, and Nick Knight was mine. I've tried to go back and watch the series, and while the show is a little campy, Knight still strikes a sympathetic cord for me. The struggle to control the monster within and the search for personal nirvana is a strong drive.
Vanyel Ashkevron
This is the protagonist in Mercedes Lackey's The Last Herald Mage trilogy. While decidedly gay, Van has a lot of similarities to Picard: authoritative, powerful, aloof...AND magical and tragic to boot! His story starts when he is sixteen years old, so he was even my own age. What's not to like?
Sam Gribley
I don't know if Sam counts as a crush...but I certainly imagined his story as my own. I mentioned Jean Craighead George's book, My Side of the Mountain, among my favorite books. Here is a boy who has enough hutzpah and knowledge to survive ALONE in the mountains. He makes a home by burning out a tree hollow, trains his own falcon, and eventually teaches the grown-ups who find him how to live with the land. ♪♪♪AWE-SOME♪♪♪
Achilles
I think I'm reaching at this point, but the tragic hero holds some appeal. Being born to be the gods' pawn has got to be tough, especially when you are recorded as the handsomest hero of a nation. The rage and agony of losing so much (Briseis, his lover-slave, Patroclus, his best friend, and Penthesilia, the Amazon queen) makes you sympathetic to the war hero, despite the berserk viciousness. Homer's Iliad is not a book I can see myself re-reading...EVER...but like the Arthurian legends, there are many stories that highlight Achilles. I'll admit that Brad Pitt's Achilles is damnably pretty...
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Five Favorite Historical Figures
Truly historical? I am not exactly a history buff. It wasn't a subject I struggled with (like math), but it also wasn't exactly my favorite class, either. So who in the last 3 or 4 millenia am I really interested in? Sadly, several of them are probably fictional!
King Arthur of Britain
I was told the stories of Camelot as a child, and Arthur has always held my fascination. Although most of the tales are romanticized and set in the 12th century (whereas Arthur probably lived in the 5th or 6th century), I have read many of the different adaptations, including struggling through Geoffrey of Monmouth's "History of the Kings of Britain".
Robin of Locksley
Robin Hood and his band of Merry men are usually portrayed as living in Sherwood Forest, in Nottinghamshire. Their adventures generally surround the "rob from the rich to give to the poor" ideal. There is no solid evidence that Robin Hood as we know him actually existed. However, the oldest references are from the English Justice rolls, where the names 'Robinhood', 'Robehod' or 'Robbehod' have appeared from time to time since 1228. That suggests (to me, at least) that "Robin Hood" was the medieval equivalent to "Joe Smoe" if you were arrested. :-P
Lady of Ch'iao Kuo
(Please don't ask me for the actual pronunciation...I will butcher it!) Born a tribal princess in the early 500s, the Lady of Ch'iao Kuo was a strong and cunning woman who integrated her native Hsien with the invading Chinese. Through her efforts in both education and negotiation, she brought peace to the warring factions and gained respect of the Ch'en Dynasty...no small feat for a woman in China in the 500s!
Joan of Arc
Most people know her story...the Maid of Oleans led the French army to several important victories during the Hundred Years' War and changed the course of European history in the 1400s. Anyone who holds to their beliefs through a gruesome and public death is pretty incredible to me. The fact that Joan was an illiterate peasant girl of 17 when she became a national hero is amazing.
To be honest, I spent quite a bit of time mulling over a fifth historical hero to name. Partly because I wanted to name someone who might really qualify as a hero...someone who changed the world for the better. My mother was one of my initial picks. She certainly changed my world. She was an amazing and admirable person, but she's not someone you can read about in a history book. Then I remembered.
Every once in a while, we have a very personal brush with history. My fifth historical figure is
Molapetene Collins Ramusi
I knew him as "Uncle Mafa", a big black man who visited us and made 'African Chicken' for us on occasion. He first came to my family through my grandfather. The story is that Mafa simply walked up to my Opa, threw his arms around him, and cried out, "My American father!" and Opa brought him home. I have vague memories of attending his traditional wedding at a house in Hyde Park, being the only white girl there, and the amazing outfits. It was clear the man I knew as "Uncle" was someone important, but I didn't understand his story until much later, when I read his autobiography, first typed by my mother. How he had grown up in the Batlokwa tribe, aspired to be Lebowa's Interior Minister, and was political exile from South Africa before I was born. He returned to South Africa after his wife died, and was killed himself shortly after Nelson Mandela was elected as president. I wish I knew more about the man himself, remembered more of the times he was a part of my life. As it is, I am awed to have known him at all.
King Arthur of Britain
I was told the stories of Camelot as a child, and Arthur has always held my fascination. Although most of the tales are romanticized and set in the 12th century (whereas Arthur probably lived in the 5th or 6th century), I have read many of the different adaptations, including struggling through Geoffrey of Monmouth's "History of the Kings of Britain".
Robin of Locksley
Robin Hood and his band of Merry men are usually portrayed as living in Sherwood Forest, in Nottinghamshire. Their adventures generally surround the "rob from the rich to give to the poor" ideal. There is no solid evidence that Robin Hood as we know him actually existed. However, the oldest references are from the English Justice rolls, where the names 'Robinhood', 'Robehod' or 'Robbehod' have appeared from time to time since 1228. That suggests (to me, at least) that "Robin Hood" was the medieval equivalent to "Joe Smoe" if you were arrested. :-P
Lady of Ch'iao Kuo
(Please don't ask me for the actual pronunciation...I will butcher it!) Born a tribal princess in the early 500s, the Lady of Ch'iao Kuo was a strong and cunning woman who integrated her native Hsien with the invading Chinese. Through her efforts in both education and negotiation, she brought peace to the warring factions and gained respect of the Ch'en Dynasty...no small feat for a woman in China in the 500s!
Joan of Arc
Most people know her story...the Maid of Oleans led the French army to several important victories during the Hundred Years' War and changed the course of European history in the 1400s. Anyone who holds to their beliefs through a gruesome and public death is pretty incredible to me. The fact that Joan was an illiterate peasant girl of 17 when she became a national hero is amazing.
To be honest, I spent quite a bit of time mulling over a fifth historical hero to name. Partly because I wanted to name someone who might really qualify as a hero...someone who changed the world for the better. My mother was one of my initial picks. She certainly changed my world. She was an amazing and admirable person, but she's not someone you can read about in a history book. Then I remembered.
Every once in a while, we have a very personal brush with history. My fifth historical figure is
Molapetene Collins Ramusi
I knew him as "Uncle Mafa", a big black man who visited us and made 'African Chicken' for us on occasion. He first came to my family through my grandfather. The story is that Mafa simply walked up to my Opa, threw his arms around him, and cried out, "My American father!" and Opa brought him home. I have vague memories of attending his traditional wedding at a house in Hyde Park, being the only white girl there, and the amazing outfits. It was clear the man I knew as "Uncle" was someone important, but I didn't understand his story until much later, when I read his autobiography, first typed by my mother. How he had grown up in the Batlokwa tribe, aspired to be Lebowa's Interior Minister, and was political exile from South Africa before I was born. He returned to South Africa after his wife died, and was killed himself shortly after Nelson Mandela was elected as president. I wish I knew more about the man himself, remembered more of the times he was a part of my life. As it is, I am awed to have known him at all.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Top Five Things That Happened To You This Past Year
Five things was a little too easy, in my opinion. I saw it as "five things you can't live without" and answering "food, water, air, sleep, and shelter". Booooorrrrrring. But TOP five? That is more about what really had an impact.
Beloved's mother died.
This changed things in a lot of ways. She was a highlight in our children's lives when she was well, and her willingness to watch the kids enabled a lot of our adult time. We have had a challenging bunch of years in taking care of her, and that burden is now gone. It is hard to gauge how Beloved and RedVulpes have dealt with the loss...in some ways, they seem unaffected, but I don't believe that is really the case.
I hit some double-depression issues.
Living with dysthymia puts me at a higher risk for depression, and I slid into some ugly places last summer. While I wasn't incapacitated by it, everything around me fell apart. I don't know how much the kids were really aware of it...Momma just let them watch a LOT of television...but I was peripherally aware that we weren't making it to parks or getting out much. The house was awful, my inside plants withered. By August, I realized how bad things were getting and quadrupled my antidepressant and made better efforts to get the sleep and space I needed to find my way out. I'm feeling a little edgy as the doctor is cutting back now...as if yesterday's rant wasn't evidence of that...but I think I can avoid the trap again...for now.
Boy started school full-time.
Wow...there is an entire new set of possibilities that are starting to open up. With Boy gone for seven hours, I am spending real focus with Girl for the first time. I see the developments Boy makes at school. I am starting to imagine new roles that I might take as my daily responsibilities shift from children to...something.
We were publicly outted to my family on poly-lifestyle choices.
This was odd and sad to me. My family has always known that I led a different kind of life, with drum circles, roommates, and alternative beliefs. I have never http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifhidden our poly choices, but likewise,http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif I haven't paraded it. Because I pushed some boundaries, questions were asked...unfortunately, the questions were not asked to me. Some of the people that I have admired have judged me and found me despicable for my choices; bitter resentment I never knew existed was unearthed. The hurts in this space are deep and confusing to me, and have drastically changed my interactions among certain family members.
Beloved and I did some self-indulgence.
Most of our seventeen years together have been spent very frugally and we take a lot of pride in how well we have managed. Last year, we did some real splurging for the first time. We spent a night at the Herrington Inn and visited the Kingsley House. We enjoyed a couple of Groupons for hotel stays and took advantage of GoldStar for theater tickets. For us, it was a very decadent year, and I discovered that we could manage doing this and not destroy our budget entirely. THAT is pretty cool!
Beloved's mother died.
This changed things in a lot of ways. She was a highlight in our children's lives when she was well, and her willingness to watch the kids enabled a lot of our adult time. We have had a challenging bunch of years in taking care of her, and that burden is now gone. It is hard to gauge how Beloved and RedVulpes have dealt with the loss...in some ways, they seem unaffected, but I don't believe that is really the case.
I hit some double-depression issues.
Living with dysthymia puts me at a higher risk for depression, and I slid into some ugly places last summer. While I wasn't incapacitated by it, everything around me fell apart. I don't know how much the kids were really aware of it...Momma just let them watch a LOT of television...but I was peripherally aware that we weren't making it to parks or getting out much. The house was awful, my inside plants withered. By August, I realized how bad things were getting and quadrupled my antidepressant and made better efforts to get the sleep and space I needed to find my way out. I'm feeling a little edgy as the doctor is cutting back now...as if yesterday's rant wasn't evidence of that...but I think I can avoid the trap again...for now.
Boy started school full-time.
Wow...there is an entire new set of possibilities that are starting to open up. With Boy gone for seven hours, I am spending real focus with Girl for the first time. I see the developments Boy makes at school. I am starting to imagine new roles that I might take as my daily responsibilities shift from children to...something.
We were publicly outted to my family on poly-lifestyle choices.
This was odd and sad to me. My family has always known that I led a different kind of life, with drum circles, roommates, and alternative beliefs. I have never http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifhidden our poly choices, but likewise,http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif I haven't paraded it. Because I pushed some boundaries, questions were asked...unfortunately, the questions were not asked to me. Some of the people that I have admired have judged me and found me despicable for my choices; bitter resentment I never knew existed was unearthed. The hurts in this space are deep and confusing to me, and have drastically changed my interactions among certain family members.
Beloved and I did some self-indulgence.
Most of our seventeen years together have been spent very frugally and we take a lot of pride in how well we have managed. Last year, we did some real splurging for the first time. We spent a night at the Herrington Inn and visited the Kingsley House. We enjoyed a couple of Groupons for hotel stays and took advantage of GoldStar for theater tickets. For us, it was a very decadent year, and I discovered that we could manage doing this and not destroy our budget entirely. THAT is pretty cool!
Monday, March 5, 2012
feeling stung...
I started writing this after talking to Beloved and realizing that I was looking at my calendar and my relationships and desperately wanting to dump EVERYTHING and run and hide. As if I haven't been doing enough hiding as it is.
Songs from Nancy Ford and Gretchen Cryer's "Getting My Act Together And Taking It On The Road" plays through my mind.
That phone just keeps on ringin'
and somebody's at my door.
I feel all pulled to pieces,
can't find inspiration any more.
There's so many people leaning on me
I'm getting run into the ground.
Everybody's wanting something from me
and there's not enough of me to go around...
Damn it...I am trying...TRYING!...to regain my stride. I want to celebrate the coming of spring and I want to look forward to sharing my thoughts and feelings again. Instead, I am feeling increasingly clausterphobic. I am finding myself saying little more than NO to everyone these days. No, I'm not better. No, I am not feeling up for going out. No, I don't see you as a priority right now. (Ha! I started to say I don't want to...but I didn't!) No. NO. NO!
I always tried to please
I could make him happy
and put him at his ease.
He'd say "Smile."
So I'd smile, smile, smile...
Sometimes I feel like a selfish, whinny child about wanting...needing...my alone space. But if I don't say something, then everyone assumes I'm just fine, which I am. I'm F.I.N.E.! If only I can smile, if only I can pretend, if only I can fake it...
(Dear Tom)
you thought I was so loving
(Dear Tom)
you thought I was a saint
(Dear Tom)
you thought that I was perfect...
but I ain't...
I have been accused of playing with people's hearts, of leading people on, of being something deceptive, cruel, and evil. Maybe from one point of view, that is accurate. I feel like I can give something. An understanding ear. An ego boost. A clear mirror. Tough love. I am drawn to people who have needs that I think I can fill.
The problem that I find over and over and over again is that the need isn't really "fillable" with what I have to offer. It's like the classic addiction...the first time is amazing, the second time you need a stronger hit, and by the third time, you're hooked and can't function without it. When the supply runs dry, life as you know it breaks into a million pieces, and it's my fault for giving you that first time.
I closed you out
by asking for nothing
'cause I needed someone to blame
You couldn't give
what I didn't ask for...
It was the perfect game.
It isn't that I don't ask for anything. I do ask, and I think that initially, I ask pretty firmly. Don't expect more from me than I can give. Remember that I have my own family, my other relationships, and myself to take care of. Respect my boundaries.
I don't respect my boundaries, though. If you ask, I try to make it happen. Damn it, I am a PIXIE and I CAN make miracles happen. Just see if I can't...
Because I get addicted to your happiness, your smile, your approval, your desire. I crave the satisfaction of being the one who delivered when everyone else failed. As your surprise and delight dim to expectation and demands, I wilt under the strain. I can't... and I don't want to... fall from my lips more and more. I feel like a failure. Like a mere mortal, complete with limitations, irritations, and frustrations. I become anxious and angry and I blame you for being unreasonable. I pull away, hard and fast, and we both crash headlong into a pit of despair...
A fine mess I've made of things. Where I wrote with anger and frustration and cathartic determination, I now find myself worried about who will read this. You'll probably assume that YOU are the reason...that I am writing directly at YOU. That's not true...I am snowballing all the little individual irritations into an avalanche...no one person is to blame...it's not your fault...
Except that it is...
All I need is a little room,
a place that is fine and free.
A room where I can think to myself,
where nobody's needing me.
And then I'll find my way again,
and I will sing my song.
And I'll find the joy again
That comes when I'm feeling strong.
Like a cat who hides until its wounds are healed, I just need that room...that utterly alone space that makes me happy to be needed and wanted. *sigh* A couple of hours here and there isn't going to do it, for all that I wish it would and I am grateful for the support and willingness to make that happen...but...it isn't enough. And right now, I am scared because I just don't know where or when to find that place.
Please...please go away. Don't go away angry...but please, just go the fuck away.
Songs from Nancy Ford and Gretchen Cryer's "Getting My Act Together And Taking It On The Road" plays through my mind.
and somebody's at my door.
I feel all pulled to pieces,
can't find inspiration any more.
There's so many people leaning on me
I'm getting run into the ground.
Everybody's wanting something from me
and there's not enough of me to go around...
Damn it...I am trying...TRYING!...to regain my stride. I want to celebrate the coming of spring and I want to look forward to sharing my thoughts and feelings again. Instead, I am feeling increasingly clausterphobic. I am finding myself saying little more than NO to everyone these days. No, I'm not better. No, I am not feeling up for going out. No, I don't see you as a priority right now. (Ha! I started to say I don't want to...but I didn't!) No. NO. NO!
I could make him happy
and put him at his ease.
He'd say "Smile."
So I'd smile, smile, smile...
Sometimes I feel like a selfish, whinny child about wanting...needing...my alone space. But if I don't say something, then everyone assumes I'm just fine, which I am. I'm F.I.N.E.! If only I can smile, if only I can pretend, if only I can fake it...
you thought I was so loving
(Dear Tom)
you thought I was a saint
(Dear Tom)
you thought that I was perfect...
but I ain't...
I have been accused of playing with people's hearts, of leading people on, of being something deceptive, cruel, and evil. Maybe from one point of view, that is accurate. I feel like I can give something. An understanding ear. An ego boost. A clear mirror. Tough love. I am drawn to people who have needs that I think I can fill.
The problem that I find over and over and over again is that the need isn't really "fillable" with what I have to offer. It's like the classic addiction...the first time is amazing, the second time you need a stronger hit, and by the third time, you're hooked and can't function without it. When the supply runs dry, life as you know it breaks into a million pieces, and it's my fault for giving you that first time.
by asking for nothing
'cause I needed someone to blame
You couldn't give
what I didn't ask for...
It was the perfect game.
It isn't that I don't ask for anything. I do ask, and I think that initially, I ask pretty firmly. Don't expect more from me than I can give. Remember that I have my own family, my other relationships, and myself to take care of. Respect my boundaries.
I don't respect my boundaries, though. If you ask, I try to make it happen. Damn it, I am a PIXIE and I CAN make miracles happen. Just see if I can't...
Because I get addicted to your happiness, your smile, your approval, your desire. I crave the satisfaction of being the one who delivered when everyone else failed. As your surprise and delight dim to expectation and demands, I wilt under the strain. I can't... and I don't want to... fall from my lips more and more. I feel like a failure. Like a mere mortal, complete with limitations, irritations, and frustrations. I become anxious and angry and I blame you for being unreasonable. I pull away, hard and fast, and we both crash headlong into a pit of despair...
A fine mess I've made of things. Where I wrote with anger and frustration and cathartic determination, I now find myself worried about who will read this. You'll probably assume that YOU are the reason...that I am writing directly at YOU. That's not true...I am snowballing all the little individual irritations into an avalanche...no one person is to blame...it's not your fault...
Except that it is...
a place that is fine and free.
A room where I can think to myself,
where nobody's needing me.
And then I'll find my way again,
and I will sing my song.
And I'll find the joy again
That comes when I'm feeling strong.
Like a cat who hides until its wounds are healed, I just need that room...that utterly alone space that makes me happy to be needed and wanted. *sigh* A couple of hours here and there isn't going to do it, for all that I wish it would and I am grateful for the support and willingness to make that happen...but...it isn't enough. And right now, I am scared because I just don't know where or when to find that place.
Please...please go away. Don't go away angry...but please, just go the fuck away.
Five Places You’d Like To Live
*soft laugh* I have lived within a 70 mile radius of Chicago my entire life. I've visited a lot of places, but I always "come home". With that bias in mind, it shouldn't be a surprise that my first pick is:
Chicago, IL
I do mean in the city proper, generally northside...Gold Coast, Lincoln Park, Uptown, Lakeview, Edgewater, Rogers Park...these are my stomping grounds. I love the culture, the diversity, the opportunities. I love my lake, and I miss it fiercely!!! A quick look, and real estate looks to be double my home's value, minimal. Oh well...I can dream!
The Rocks, Australia
This is another place that I spent very little time, but I would return in a heartbeat. The Rocks is the oldest part of Sydney, and it is just amazing. It is almost like every day is a festival, with live music in the streets. I don't think I've been anywhere that could match the number of SMILING people, either. Maybe it is something to do with the wild parrots that live in the city? I also love the water taxis, the museums, the food. If you get to visit Australia, try to visit Parliament. I know, it's in Canberra, but if the US Congress could take some lessons from the humor in those sessions! If I can't have Chicago, Sydney would be my second choice for major metropolis.
Denver, CO
I spent much of my early adolescence summering in Denver with my older cousins. My first "job" was in a greenhouse in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. I took tennis lessons and my first creative writing class out there. I adored the trips up to the mountains themselves...Pikes Peak, Breckenridge, Aspen. If I couldn't have my water, I would accept my mountains.
Astoria, OR
Scenic, historic, a mix of both woods and water. It's where I first tasted kettle corn and where I had true "fish'n'chips" served out of a lunch wagon. The farmer's market closes down one of the main streets downtown...you have to park and walk. And the gardens...oh, the gardens!!! I've only spent a day in the city, but I think I could find a good home there.
Fifth? hmmmm...there are a lot of places I would like to explore before I declared them places I'd like to live. At the same time, I am a creature of habit, so for my fifth place, I will say
my house
I like the house that Beloved and I have been working on for seven years. I like the energy. I like how versatile it is...how easy it is to move the furniture and change everything about the rooms here. There are major things I would do to the house still...de-siding it, repair/replace windows, build out the attic. I wish we could pick it up and move it somewhere else. I wish it had an acre of land to work with instead of the tiny lot. I wish there weren't so many questions about the neighborhood and I wish more of our neighbors were friendly. But for all of that, home is where the heart is, and I live with my Beloved.
Chicago, IL
I do mean in the city proper, generally northside...Gold Coast, Lincoln Park, Uptown, Lakeview, Edgewater, Rogers Park...these are my stomping grounds. I love the culture, the diversity, the opportunities. I love my lake, and I miss it fiercely!!! A quick look, and real estate looks to be double my home's value, minimal. Oh well...I can dream!
The Rocks, Australia
This is another place that I spent very little time, but I would return in a heartbeat. The Rocks is the oldest part of Sydney, and it is just amazing. It is almost like every day is a festival, with live music in the streets. I don't think I've been anywhere that could match the number of SMILING people, either. Maybe it is something to do with the wild parrots that live in the city? I also love the water taxis, the museums, the food. If you get to visit Australia, try to visit Parliament. I know, it's in Canberra, but if the US Congress could take some lessons from the humor in those sessions! If I can't have Chicago, Sydney would be my second choice for major metropolis.
Denver, CO
I spent much of my early adolescence summering in Denver with my older cousins. My first "job" was in a greenhouse in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. I took tennis lessons and my first creative writing class out there. I adored the trips up to the mountains themselves...Pikes Peak, Breckenridge, Aspen. If I couldn't have my water, I would accept my mountains.
Astoria, OR
Scenic, historic, a mix of both woods and water. It's where I first tasted kettle corn and where I had true "fish'n'chips" served out of a lunch wagon. The farmer's market closes down one of the main streets downtown...you have to park and walk. And the gardens...oh, the gardens!!! I've only spent a day in the city, but I think I could find a good home there.
Fifth? hmmmm...there are a lot of places I would like to explore before I declared them places I'd like to live. At the same time, I am a creature of habit, so for my fifth place, I will say
my house
I like the house that Beloved and I have been working on for seven years. I like the energy. I like how versatile it is...how easy it is to move the furniture and change everything about the rooms here. There are major things I would do to the house still...de-siding it, repair/replace windows, build out the attic. I wish we could pick it up and move it somewhere else. I wish it had an acre of land to work with instead of the tiny lot. I wish there weren't so many questions about the neighborhood and I wish more of our neighbors were friendly. But for all of that, home is where the heart is, and I live with my Beloved.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Five Favorite Things About The Internet
Goodness! This one is a pretty easy one to answer!
diversity
I love how vast the Interest it, how limitless the diversity is. If you can think of something you are interested it or would like to know, you are almost sure to find out more on the Internet!
communication
From e-mail to FaceBook to individual interest groups, the communication made possible by the World Wide Web is remarkable. It's sad that hand-written letters are being phased out, although I honestly wouldn't communicate with as many people as often if I had to hand-write and mail.
education
Similar to the diversity, it is so easy to look something up. A few years ago, World Book was trying to sell us a $4000 set of encyclopedias. Really? There's the Internet! The educational value here, from accessing academic journals to zeroing in on zany words, is priceless.
current events
I read both the local and international papers online. I look up movie times. I find out about kink events. I follow political developments. The Internet connects me to all kinds of current events that I might not otherwise follow.
entertainment
How many hours have I spent chatting, blogging, gaming, watching Netflix online? Beloved STILL teases me because I didn't embrace the Internet until the summer he and I lived apart...1998, I think. Now, it is hard to unplug because the Web has become my primary source of individual entertainment.
diversity
I love how vast the Interest it, how limitless the diversity is. If you can think of something you are interested it or would like to know, you are almost sure to find out more on the Internet!
communication
From e-mail to FaceBook to individual interest groups, the communication made possible by the World Wide Web is remarkable. It's sad that hand-written letters are being phased out, although I honestly wouldn't communicate with as many people as often if I had to hand-write and mail.
education
Similar to the diversity, it is so easy to look something up. A few years ago, World Book was trying to sell us a $4000 set of encyclopedias. Really? There's the Internet! The educational value here, from accessing academic journals to zeroing in on zany words, is priceless.
current events
I read both the local and international papers online. I look up movie times. I find out about kink events. I follow political developments. The Internet connects me to all kinds of current events that I might not otherwise follow.
entertainment
How many hours have I spent chatting, blogging, gaming, watching Netflix online? Beloved STILL teases me because I didn't embrace the Internet until the summer he and I lived apart...1998, I think. Now, it is hard to unplug because the Web has become my primary source of individual entertainment.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Five Names You Wish Were Yours
huh. This is an interesting question. In grade school, I wanted to be a "Kate" or "Anna", partly because those girls were pretty, popular, and smart. So it isn't as though I have never thought about it, but I think the question is a little different today. I like my name(s). So...I will explain things I wish were different about my name(s).
momma
Do I really need to explain what I wish was different about this name? *half smile* I have struggled for more than five years to understand that Momma should not define who I am or what I do. It should not limit me. I wish people would not blank out when I tell them I am a stay-at-home mom.
given name
My parents gave me an unusual first name. It wasn't until college that I met a stranger who had the same name I did. That is pretty cool, now...but as a kid, I wished I wasn't so different.
nickname
I have two nicknames that are based on my given name. My family knows me as one name. Beloved gave me the other when I was eighteen. There is a funny story about how I moved out and gave my family my new phone number. For the first month or two, when they called asking for me by my childhood nickname, my family was told "Sorry...there is no one here by that name." Talk about frustration and confusion! Most everyone has figured it out NOW, but sometimes I wish I could resolve my dilemma about how to sign family letters.
lifestyle names
I have from time to time considered adopting a more unusual screen/lifestyle name, but at this point, people KNOW me. I came to those each of my screen names for my own reasons, not because they were cutesy or popular. *shrug* I suppose most people who claim them would say the same thing. Still, I wish there were fewer people who claimed the same names I do.
pagan name
I utilize my middle name as my power/pagan name. Again, I really like my middle name. It has been handed down through generations of my family and is tied to Welsh royalty. Unfortunately, it is also the name of a popular pagan publisher. I wish no one had suggested that it was cliche that I use my own birthright name.
momma
Do I really need to explain what I wish was different about this name? *half smile* I have struggled for more than five years to understand that Momma should not define who I am or what I do. It should not limit me. I wish people would not blank out when I tell them I am a stay-at-home mom.
given name
My parents gave me an unusual first name. It wasn't until college that I met a stranger who had the same name I did. That is pretty cool, now...but as a kid, I wished I wasn't so different.
nickname
I have two nicknames that are based on my given name. My family knows me as one name. Beloved gave me the other when I was eighteen. There is a funny story about how I moved out and gave my family my new phone number. For the first month or two, when they called asking for me by my childhood nickname, my family was told "Sorry...there is no one here by that name." Talk about frustration and confusion! Most everyone has figured it out NOW, but sometimes I wish I could resolve my dilemma about how to sign family letters.
lifestyle names
I have from time to time considered adopting a more unusual screen/lifestyle name, but at this point, people KNOW me. I came to those each of my screen names for my own reasons, not because they were cutesy or popular. *shrug* I suppose most people who claim them would say the same thing. Still, I wish there were fewer people who claimed the same names I do.
pagan name
I utilize my middle name as my power/pagan name. Again, I really like my middle name. It has been handed down through generations of my family and is tied to Welsh royalty. Unfortunately, it is also the name of a popular pagan publisher. I wish no one had suggested that it was cliche that I use my own birthright name.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Five Books
I love to dodge with question, insisting that authors are a better way to cover my preferences. The truth is, I still have favorite books from the authors that I enjoy reading. So...here goes...
* Fifth Sacred Thing by Starhawk
This is probably my all-time favorite book. It is a story of hope, possibility, magic, hardship, politics, sex, and assumptions. It was the book that allowed me to skip out of English 101 in college. It is one of the books that I pick up when I am slipping in my own life...although I didn't realize that until Beloved pointed it out. If there is one book on this list you are going to read, pick this one!
* Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean Auel
I think this book was important in how I built my own foundation. I identify with the heroine, Ayla, as a survivor. I enjoy her spirit and courage. I adore the plant lore and discussions on medicine and healing. I like the historical fiction aspects.
* By the Sword by Mercedes Lackey
Probably the hardest book to choose from Lackey's wide array of Valdemar books, this is yet another powerful female protagonist who takes her own path, studies, and achieves goals by being honest and making friends in unusual places. Fun, fluffy, tween fantasy stuff.
* My Side of the Mountain by Jean Craighead George
Yes, a "children's book" about a 12-year old boy who runs away from home and learns how to survive in the wilderness of upstate New York. This book actually won a Newbery Medal Honor in 1960, so I feel somewhat justified in enjoying it as much as I do.
* Caretakers of Wonder by Cooper Edens
This is about the secret activities of the Caretakers of Wonder. They are the ones who raise the sun into it's place and sow dewdrops at night. The book ends with the suggestion that some day YOU will be asked to become a Caretaker of Wonder. *teary eyes* The priest read this aloud as a part of the eulogy at my mother's funeral, and the simple beauty fit my mom so well. I have gone on to "collect" Cooper Eden's books and (cheating!) would highly recommend "If You're Afraid Of The Dark, Remember The Night Rainbow" also.
* Fifth Sacred Thing by Starhawk
This is probably my all-time favorite book. It is a story of hope, possibility, magic, hardship, politics, sex, and assumptions. It was the book that allowed me to skip out of English 101 in college. It is one of the books that I pick up when I am slipping in my own life...although I didn't realize that until Beloved pointed it out. If there is one book on this list you are going to read, pick this one!
* Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean Auel
I think this book was important in how I built my own foundation. I identify with the heroine, Ayla, as a survivor. I enjoy her spirit and courage. I adore the plant lore and discussions on medicine and healing. I like the historical fiction aspects.
* By the Sword by Mercedes Lackey
Probably the hardest book to choose from Lackey's wide array of Valdemar books, this is yet another powerful female protagonist who takes her own path, studies, and achieves goals by being honest and making friends in unusual places. Fun, fluffy, tween fantasy stuff.
* My Side of the Mountain by Jean Craighead George
Yes, a "children's book" about a 12-year old boy who runs away from home and learns how to survive in the wilderness of upstate New York. This book actually won a Newbery Medal Honor in 1960, so I feel somewhat justified in enjoying it as much as I do.
* Caretakers of Wonder by Cooper Edens
This is about the secret activities of the Caretakers of Wonder. They are the ones who raise the sun into it's place and sow dewdrops at night. The book ends with the suggestion that some day YOU will be asked to become a Caretaker of Wonder. *teary eyes* The priest read this aloud as a part of the eulogy at my mother's funeral, and the simple beauty fit my mom so well. I have gone on to "collect" Cooper Eden's books and (cheating!) would highly recommend "If You're Afraid Of The Dark, Remember The Night Rainbow" also.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Five Excuses
One of the challenges about blogging is that I fall off the band-wagon. I start thinking I'm whining or depressed all the time and who wants to hear about that?! So, I found a new 30-day Challenge...My Top Fives. It will at least get me back in the habit of writing, even if you aren't all that interested... :P
Day One: Top Five Favorite Excuses
* I can't...
Total crap. I CAN. If I make it a priority, I can do anything I want to. This isn't to mean that it will be easy, but it probably CAN be done. End of subject.
* I don't want to...
Perhaps a better excuse, but still questionable. There are lots of things that people don't want to do, but that doesn't mean you can get off the hook with this one. Especially in line with "learning complaisance", saying I don't want to is a lame excuse.
* I am afraid...
ooo...good one, don't you think? Fear is a powerful force and it can be crippling. Fear can drive us to do things that are nonsensical or prevent us from growing. Some times we don't even realize it is fear that is blocking us. Fear is still an excuse, though. Indigo Girls had it right...Chase all the ghosts from your head. {You're}stronger than the monster beneath your bed. Smarter than the tricks played on your heart. Well look at them together and then take them apart...
* I can't decide...
This is a close cousin to the fear excuse. Usually we can't decide because we are afraid of making the wrong choice. Often, we try to not decide by doing nothing, and yet that is also a decision. Realize it, own it, DECIDE it.
* I am too busy... or There isn't enough time... or I'm too tired...
This one is one that I find myself using a lot. I do have a lot going on, all the time. Mother of two, involved in my family, host of Grand Central Station, support for more people than I can count... And yet, I have major huge time eaters in my life. Please note that I didn't say wasters. I am trying to modify my own language...it is an interesting exercise. Instead of wasting time, activities can eat time. Maybe there isn't a huge difference, but it makes it more of a conscious choice on my part. *chuckles* Blogging is one of my time eaters! So is gaming. *wink* I am considering a time log to see what more of my time eaters are. Another strategy...change your wording. Instead of saying "I don't have time" try saying "it's not a priority," and see how that feels. Often, that's a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, but that is not a priority. But other things are harder. I need to prioritize how I spend my time. Consider where you spend your time? What do you do all day? Are these reasons you are "too busy"?
Today's challenge summary:
Can I dare to PRIORITIZE my DECISIONS without being AFRAID of being "wrong"? Even if I DON'T WANT to, CAN I do it?
Day One: Top Five Favorite Excuses
* I can't...
Total crap. I CAN. If I make it a priority, I can do anything I want to. This isn't to mean that it will be easy, but it probably CAN be done. End of subject.
* I don't want to...
Perhaps a better excuse, but still questionable. There are lots of things that people don't want to do, but that doesn't mean you can get off the hook with this one. Especially in line with "learning complaisance", saying I don't want to is a lame excuse.
* I am afraid...
ooo...good one, don't you think? Fear is a powerful force and it can be crippling. Fear can drive us to do things that are nonsensical or prevent us from growing. Some times we don't even realize it is fear that is blocking us. Fear is still an excuse, though. Indigo Girls had it right...Chase all the ghosts from your head. {You're}stronger than the monster beneath your bed. Smarter than the tricks played on your heart. Well look at them together and then take them apart...
* I can't decide...
This is a close cousin to the fear excuse. Usually we can't decide because we are afraid of making the wrong choice. Often, we try to not decide by doing nothing, and yet that is also a decision. Realize it, own it, DECIDE it.
* I am too busy... or There isn't enough time... or I'm too tired...
This one is one that I find myself using a lot. I do have a lot going on, all the time. Mother of two, involved in my family, host of Grand Central Station, support for more people than I can count... And yet, I have major huge time eaters in my life. Please note that I didn't say wasters. I am trying to modify my own language...it is an interesting exercise. Instead of wasting time, activities can eat time. Maybe there isn't a huge difference, but it makes it more of a conscious choice on my part. *chuckles* Blogging is one of my time eaters! So is gaming. *wink* I am considering a time log to see what more of my time eaters are. Another strategy...change your wording. Instead of saying "I don't have time" try saying "it's not a priority," and see how that feels. Often, that's a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, but that is not a priority. But other things are harder. I need to prioritize how I spend my time. Consider where you spend your time? What do you do all day? Are these reasons you are "too busy"?
Today's challenge summary:
Can I dare to PRIORITIZE my DECISIONS without being AFRAID of being "wrong"? Even if I DON'T WANT to, CAN I do it?
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