Shape of a Mother

There is a new website, theshapeofamother.com, that has become a sudden sensation. Chances are, you can't get into it because of the flood of traffic. What it amounts to is an act of defiance.

Everyone, EVERYONE is bombarded with these crazy notions of what "beauty" is. Men as well as women are bombarded with standards with every commercial, magazine, billboard, and movie we see. You know it's tough out there when fashion and beauty executives think that even a model's body isn't good enough to sell clothes or that a celebrity's natural face isn't up to par, even with makeup.

Now the truth is I've never been a tiny girl. Hell, even starvation diets only put me at 150lbs...which, btw, is STILL overweight for my height. If I'm literally starving myself and maintain a "medically-overweight" status, what hope is there for me?

This challenge is made all the worse for mothers because there are a rare few like Miranda Kerr who bounce back in 2 seconds and never have scar or flab to show they were ever pregnant. Those who aren't...? Well, naturally, they are lazy and ugly and have no self-control or self-respect.

Even without the weight, pregnancy changes a woman's body forever. Skeletal changes make it possible to tell how many pregnancies a woman had. There are the motherhood marks. You know, the stretch marks, deflated or saggy boobs, the soft belly. If you're a mother, chances are you are doomed by fashion standards.

Enters Bonnie Ratliff Crowder, a single homeschooling mom to two children. In 2006, she thought wouldn't it be great if moms submitted pictures of their real, un-airbrushed bodies to help support and encourage other moms coming to terms with their post-baby selves. How DARE she?! And yet, six years later...

*half smile* It's hard not to compare. I'm somewhat grateful that I haven't been able to visit the website. One of the authors who wrote about the site admitted that "I'm normally quite indifferent to my body, but I don't know if I'd have the courage to share my imperfections with the world." Here's my answer:

I am afraid...VERY afraid...

Someone showed me Pinterest. *deep breath* I haven't made an account...yet...MUST RESIST...

The process

*half smile* Little people and scheduling are taking priority, but I wanted to get this thought down while it's fresh. I am starting an online "Sacred Feminine Intensive", and the first video is about the process. Namaste talks about how so much of our existence is focused on finishing, on completing, on getting to the end. I try to remember and emphasis the journey, the process, but I am also often caught in "finishing" chores, cleaning, laundry, weeding. Lords and Ladies...you would think that I would know better at least about the weeding! None of this is something that is ever going to be FINISHED; it is a process. Relax and enjoy the process.

*deep breath* I might be in over my head.

When mushy becomes gushy

More than twenty years ago, I got violently sick after eating a stew with Bisquick dumplings. I *still* avoid Bisquick. The turn-off is incredibly strong and lasting.

Lately, I have realized that I don't do well with flirty-mushy exchanges. I feel like once in a while is manageable...I'll blush, stammer, and appreciate the attention. However. This is definitely one of those cases when too much of a good thing is BAD. Very, VERY bad.

Working hard...

Beloved brought a wheelbarrow back from Rain's house. In two hours, he and I have spread 4+ tons of gravel in the park-lot. Two piles (almost) down...two more to go...

*wry smile* Show me a skinny-mini who could do even half the work. My waist is slimming out more (Tamin-Lady said last night my body is screaming for corset-training), my arms are actually tanning, and my face is full of freckles. Of course, I'm still grumbling about the scale numbers going UP. Sometimes, it just doesn't seem fair.

Peter Pan, Red Bull, and Julia

But Peter, how do we get to Neverland?
Fly of course.
Fly?
It's easy...you think of a wonderful thought.
Any happy little thought?
Uh-huh.
Like toys at Christmas? Sleighbells? Snow?
Yep. Watch me now, here I go. It's easier than pie.





The challenge of my life is to find out how far I can take it.




(I am amused and excited that I figured out how to embed the video...unfortunately, I don't know how to stop the auto-play. Advice welcome...until that's fixed, accept my apologies for the music until I bury the entry. hahahaha)

I met Julia last Wednesday. She is a life coach who offered a freebie program that I really appreciated. The first slide in the PowerPoint presentation was:

80% of Americans polled do not feel passionate about their lives.
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them. ~Henry David Thoreau
WHY NOT BE IN THE 20%?

One of Julia's posits was about stress. The human body evolved to react to stress in ways meant to warn us something was wrong and to protect us against threats from predators and other aggressors. Such threats are rare today, but that doesn't mean that life is free of stress.

On the contrary, I face multiple demands each day, such as shouldering a huge choreload, making ends meet, taking care of the family, or just making it through the morning routines. Because these all stress me out, my body treats these minor hassles as threats. As a result, I feel as if I am constantly under assault.

Perhaps all the underlying stress and anxiety is because I am not on the "right" path, and my body is screaming at me to PAY ATTENTION. There is a reason to engage and share passions: it feels good and decreases stress. It falls back into the concept that you can't give 100% if you aren't at 100%; that you MUST put self-care first if you want to care for anyone else. *wry smile* How many times do I need to have this hammered into my thick skull before I embrace it?

There are lots more bits that I am still simmering, but the program closed with three challenges:

• Daily happy thought
  
• Weekly passion activity
  
• Random acts of kindness

Starting with a happy thought was where the Peter Pan and Red Bull openings came from. How much is possible when we are inspired, passionate, happy? Originally I was going to say "forget Red Bull" as a tease about the wings commercials, but the video excited me. I want to know how far I can go!

My happy today is that I am on the verge of a break-though. I can FEEL it. I'm not sure what it IS yet...but I can feel it! I'm hopeful!

Bullets

I really *should* be starting dinner, but I needed to sit down for a few minutes...might as well multi-task the break, eh?

• Last night I attended a program with a life coach that I really enjoyed. It is very interesting that a lot of the questions I posed in Tuesday's post were duplicated in the presentation. I think I have some answers, too, but that is definitely a longer post!
  
• Today was the Earth Day field trip at Boy's school, so we spent the better part of the day tramping around the marsh, playing with cattails and milk vetch pods, and terrifying baby painted turtles. (Seriously, these guys were maybe the size of a silver dollar!)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  (Yes, I'm aware of the salmonella issue and we tried to limit the kids actually TOUCHING them. Hand sanitizer was used liberally before lunch.)
  
  
• I dug out MORE grass in the front yard and now have a dry "stream" that winds through the garden, from the downspout to the sidewalk. *grins* It is my compromise to an actual water feature, and the illusion is further supported by the little bridge it runs under. This is the view from above...
  
  
• Beloved hasn't killed me for the REST of the 14 tons of gravel that was delivered to the back. *sigh* I've been wanting and threatening to re-gravel the parking lot space for more than a year. Now I have the work of spreading it. Serves me right. (But I STILL believe it needed doing...even if *I* am the one doing...)
  
• I got my hair cut! First real cut in almost three years. I don't have pictures yet...I haven't decided if I'm happy with it or not. It's layered with a side-part and bangs. I'll probably get pictures up tomorrow...maybe.
  
• Tomorrow is the school's first CAMPOUT...as in sleeping in tents. The school owns 6 acres, so the few brave families are going to set up tents and do smores with the kids, hopefully get some sleep. Boy has volunteered Beloved to help with the pancake breakfast before campus clean-up on Saturday morning.
  

So...yeah...busy, busy, busy. And I've spent way too much time monkeying with the photos. Ha! Well, I figure something out for supper that's QUICK!