What are you most afraid of? What brings a dryness to your mouth, makes your palms sweat and your heart pound?
I'm not sure, really. The things that give me nightmares are unreal...uncharted demons from other people's imagination. I try to avoid exposure to such things, but what most consider mildly scary will keep me in fits for nights on end. I can't think of anything in this world that truly get hooks into me in the same way.
In this world? Personal failure...compounded exponentially if there are others' expectations involved. It doesn't matter what the challenge is...I used to fall apart over math quizzes in high school that would result in a self-esteem spiral...if I can't do this quiz, I'll never pass the test, then I'll never pass the class, never finish high school, never go to college, never accomplish anything, surely I should just put an end to it all...because of a 5 question quiz. I'm not quite that fragile anymore, but perceived failure still pushes me into spirals of worthlessness and suicidal thoughts over small or silly things.
Are your worst fears relationship-related or because of what Life occasionally hands you?
I think I'm more susceptible to what Life hands out. Relationships have challenges and can give heartache, but I have too much experience with relationship loss to fear it.
When there is no resolution in sight how do you handle your fear and its accompanying symptoms?
The short answer is I don't handle it. Depending on the speed of things, I try the “fake it til you make it” strategy, pasting a smile on my face and hiding the internal storms until things are really out of control. I've been committed against my will because of this. Antidepressants helped, as does talk therapy.
Are you afraid of mice, of high places, of speed, of thunder or are you most afraid of losing the one you love?
Given these limited concepts, losing loved ones is worse.
Does the idea of financial ruin scare you or does the thought of losing your partner's love scare you more?
Losing my partner's love is much worse than financial ruin.
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