Warning...all about girlie stuff

So is it "good news" when medical tests come back normal, but that's not what you wanted to hear? *cocks head*

Here's the deal:
I was on various hormonal birth controls (pills, Depo) for about 14 years straight. I got pregnant the first month I stopped taking the meds, so really no problem there. I had hyperemesis gravidum, which might have been related to the birth control use, but there's no way to know. My menstruation cycles started up about seven months after I gave birth, which is pretty normal.

What ISN'T normal is the length of the cycles. I'm barely getting 20 days between cycles, meaning I can have two periods in one month. Each time, my moon lasts 8-10 days, several of those are HEAVY days, too, and I lose about half a pint of blood. (I use The Keeper, so yeah, I do know how much it is.) I'm losing enough blood to be borderline anemic, for pete's sake.

My doctor decided to take a look at my thyroid functions, thinking that something might be abnormal, but he called today saying everything is fine. *frowns* No...everything IS NOT fine. I'm just not sure what to do about it now.

Paint Update

It was a busy weekend with a drum circle, family visits, and general catch-back-up-on-the-house-after-guests, so tonight was the first chance I've had to get back to the paint. I'm grumbling...

First, the color seems a whole lot redder than the chip I gave the guy...I'm holding out for when it is dry to make my final decision on it, but right now, I'm not thrilled.

Second, maybe I'm just tired, but it seems to be going a LOT slower than the primer. I got two walls done, but I'm calling it quits for the evening. I'm getting sloppy, and that is not a good thing. Better to go at it again tomorrow.

Third, I'm definitely going to need a second coat.

*growls* This is how projects go, I know that, but I've only got six more days. How the HELL to they do weekend flips on those TV shows??? Is there a fast-drying agent you can apply or something? *sigh* ah, well...I've got to go scrub paint out from under my nails before bed.

fighting off the mopes

I was up waaaay to late last night...I have embarked on a surprise for Beloved. I am going to finish the back room upstairs before he comes home. Last fall, we opened up the walls to put in insulation. Beloved got the drywall in place and we got the mudding finished and sanded, but never went further. All the plaster dust and scraps just sat. For months.

Part of that is the indecision over what the room should be...a workout room or a library. Before Beloved left, he took my collar off so I wouldn't hesitate to get out and see playgroups and such. I'm taking the opportunity to decide the room is going to be a library and mediation space...mostly because it's too small for yoga AND my elliptical.

But I really can't work on the room when Boy is around, so it all has to wait until he is asleep. *sigh* Like any good project, it took longer than I planned to clean and prime. I was up until almost 2 am. And of course, Boy only slept until 6:30 am.

I am excited about the room (the colored tint is startling, though), but I'm dragging a little this morning. Maybe I'll nap this afternoon instead of mowing the grass so I can get the first coat of finishing paint up tonight.

At least the work and service will distract me from missing Beloved so much, right? *sigh*

kidnapped? not so much

Beloved is heading off to the Illinois Vipassana Meditation Center for the next ten days. It is really an amazing experience where you spend ten days in noble silence - silence of body, speech, and mind. Any form of communication with fellow student, whether by gestures, sign language, written notes, etc., is not allowed. From 4 am until 9:30 pm, you meditate. Meals are light and only offered twice a day.

I did a full ten-day sit in 2005 and Beloved has wanted to go ever since. I finally convinced him that there would never be a GOOD time, and so he should take the vacation time and just go! I'll be dropping him off tonight about 6pm.

But I think he wanted to leave me with a significant impression...either that, or "wake-up sex" is in the air and contagious! This morning, I woke slightly to the sounds of someone creeping in the bedroom. Before I could really open my eyes, a blindfold was placed over my head, quickly followed by my cuffs on my wrists and ankles. These were snapped to the four corners of the bed, spreading me wide.

The blankets were whipped off me. Being still half-asleep, I whimpered slightly at the temperature change, but was distracted by a tongue lapping at my clit.

"Are you sure she can't see anything?"
"Hot damn! You were right! She's always ready for it!"

It was a hoarse, deep whisper...a not-Beloved voice. I pulled at the restraints, fighting both my "kidnapper" and the pleasure he was insinuating in my pussy. Fingers pressed into my wide open hole, and I couldn't stop my hips from grinding against them.

"Look at that...soft and wet and practically begging for it!"

I growled and moaned, biting my words, wanting to deny all of it, but faced with the truth of the matter. The tongue and fingers withdrew for a second, and then there was a warm cock pressing against my lips. Greedily, I suckled at it, wanting more! The fingers returned to my pussy, flicking my clit and teasing my wet center. I writhed against his weight, seeking to enhance his pleasure and heighten my own.

"She sure can suck cock! Your Master was right, girl!"

Just that, but something wilted for me. It is my Beloved Master that I crave and hunger for...while I would try to please whomever he demanded my submission to, it isn't my first fantasy. I don't know how much of that was conveyed, as my "kidnapper" withdrew and I could feel him kneeling over me...

"Don't worry, lady, I'll wear a condom."

Did the frown show on my face? I don't know...he pressed inside, fucking me in the awkward spread-eagle position for a minute before unsnapping my ankles and pressing my heels to my ass for a deeper penetration. He leaned over and bit my neck, trying to rebuild the mood. I tried to recover, I really did, but there was no chance I was going to climax. I clenched my pussy around his cock, hoping to bring him to orgasm...

But neither of us were really THERE. After a bit, he withdrew.

"Master...?"

Warm lips met mine gently, and the blidfold was lifted. I blinked in the bright light, focusing on Beloved's warm smile. "You okay?" Gods, I love him!

He crawled up into bed and we snuggled for a little while. He has been trying out some new ideas, and some of them work, some don't. The scene wasn't a thrill for either of us, and that came as a relief for both of us, I think.

I am really going to miss him for the next ten days, though!

spoiled rotten

Okay, so I don't have a ton of time, but Beloved spoiled me rotten last night by letting me play dress-up and taking pictures. I'm really happy with a few, and thought I'd share.


(Yes, Kate, Beloved MADE the corset fit...you were right...although I'm still not so sure about the exploding bosom!)


Remember a while back when I suggested I *might* pull off a Domme look? Beloved says my eyes just don't carry it far enough...other comments?


I thought this one was particularly pretty...


If we're playing dress-up, we might as well play peak-a-boo too!


Okay, so that made me feel a little bashful...


I loved how my eyes stand out in this one...

Another week lost...This time, I don't have even a visitor's excuse. I've just been lazy! Well, and there hasn't been much to write about.

But last night? *coughs*

After getting Boy to bed, I came to Beloved in the living room. He promptly told me that I was wearing too much. Teasing back, I asked if I should make a show of it...he raised his eyebrow and said, "By all means, pet."

I tried to make it a mix of playful teases and bashful innocence...I think it worked out, but Beloved Master didn't really TELL me. When I was naked, he stood up behind me, grabbing my hair, pulling my head back.
"Who do you belong to, pet?"
"You, Master."
"And what can I do to you?"
"Anything you desire, Master."
"Anything?" With this, he pulled my hair harder, making it almost hard to breathe.
"Yes, Master," I gasped.
"So if I were to invite a friend over and tell you to suck his cock, you would?"
"I...Would try, Master."
"Try? That implies that you might not. What would prevent you?"
I could feel the blush creep across my cheeks, but honestly answered, "His hygiene, Master."

That made him chuckle. We've had the conversation many times about how important hygiene is to each of our libido. It was okay. I was relieved, but not released. Beloved pulled me backwards to his chair, and sitting down, forced me to kneel, my back to him. He began kissing and biting me deeply, still pulling my hair, and now forcing me into an awkward position. Breathing into my ear, he told me to imagine an audience, watching...

"Can you hear them, pet? Their breath heavy with lust for you...the only thing keeping them at bay is Me. Lift your breasts to them, pet. Show your full, milky boobs to them. Make them want you more! Spread your legs, show them my pussy. I want you to play with your clit, pet..."

Maybe a month ago, we watched Behind the Green Door, and that was certainly the place I was dissolving into in my head. I wasn't sure I was comfortable with it...but Master was there and it was okay. Keeping my eyes closed, I found myself picturing the Turmoil Room at club...being displayed such on the large table for all to see...

"I want you spread open on the couch, pet."

That interrupted my reverie a bit...but I did as told. Beloved stood up and stripped himself. I couldn't help but lick my lips, wanting his cock. Grabbing himself, he teased me a moment before nodding, and I leapt forward, swallowing his stiff cock immediately. He fucked my mouth for a moment, then pushed me back.

"I am going to leave now, pet. I want you to play with yourself...put a show on for them until I come back."

Whimpering, my eyes sought his, but he only shook his head. Hesitantly, I brought my left hand to my pussy and gasped at how wet I was. Pressing one, then two fingers inside, I began to stroke my clit with my right. Seeing Master's approval, I closed my eyes, trying to please him...them...

I was gasping and mewing, but I could hear whispers in the room.

"Damn, that's so hot!"
"Look at that..."

I closed my eyes tighter, feeling both a tingling thrill and horribly embarrassed. I concentrated on my fingers and pussy...Please Master...it's okay...this pleases him.

I felt pressure on the side of the couch, and before I could respond, there was a cock pressed to my lips. "I've gotta have me some of that!" was the harsh whisper. If I hadn't KNOWN we were alone at home, I don't know what I would do. Instead, I whimpered, hesitantly accepting the cock presented. Master, Master, where are you? Please...I don't have permission...Master...save me...

The "man" traded places with another, and again, I did what was demanded of me, but with reservation. I was scared, honestly. I didn't know if this was a test of Beloved's earlier question or a test of my loyalties to Him.

The "stranger" withdrew, and then my Master was there, praising me for the wet, sticky, musky picture I presented. He leaned into me, kissing me deeply before asking if I had been giving them a good show. I whimpered, not knowing what to say, not knowing what the right answer was. I had done as I was told, and as asked, but without clear directions...

Master smiled, and pressed his cock to my lips, and I eagerly swallowed him, relieved to "wash away" the "strangers". He let me suckle for barely a minute before pulling away. "Enough! I want my pussy!"

Donning a condom, he plunged into me, fucking me hard and ruthlessly. It wasn't the best position, and he told me to hold on tight, at which point he picked me up bodily, his cock still buried in my cunt, and lifted me off the couch. He bounced me a bit, and there was a small piece of my mind that was amazed how effortlessly he seemed to carry me... The position didn't offer much more than that, however, and he lay me on the floor to ravage me completely. He grabbed my wrists and bit my neck, and drove me over the edge, cumming hard. I nearly slipped out of the world for a moment, fighting to stay...Master hadn't gotten his pleasure yet...but I felt uncoordinated and couldn't offer much. Beloved continued to fuck me for a moment or two, then withdrew. I knew he hadn't cum, but I felt powerless to do anything about it.

He removed the condom and cuddled me into his arms. I gave up and relaxed into the glow, slowing returning to my own senses.

"So, answer honestly, HOT or NOT?"
Biting my lip, I whispered, "Hot!"

I confessed my picture of club, asked about the movie reference, and we just talked a bit about it. I have mixed feelings about the whole scene...is that REALLY a scene I'd like to play out???...but there is no denying that something about it got me good.

adolescent raciness?

I will be the first to admit that I haven't a clue about current hotties, in any category. I just don't follow such things. However, an article about Miley Cyrus caught my eye because the starlet was so embarrassed about some photos that were posted in Vanity Fair. "I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be 'artistic' and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed."

I happen to like artistic photography, so I went looking for the incriminating photos. *sigh* I hate people. The two photos, one of Cyrus alone and one with her father, are beautiful! The half-nude, to me, seems shy and innocent, not sulty and racy. That anyone should make Cyrus feel embarrassed about the pictures is just shameful.

But that's my opinion. What's yours?