There are a thousand snippets running through my head, but I don't feel collected enough to sort them into anything. I'm upset and a little freaked out right now.
What the hell are you supposed to do when someone you know only in cyberspace, only through a blog, is writing about her multiple suicide attempts this WEEK??? She's mixing meds and alcohol, hoping it will stop her breathing. She's taking a whole bottle of pills and winding up with cramps and jitters and a whole lot of FAILURE in her head. Now she's researching something else....
Yes, I posted a comment, but WHAT THE HELL CAN I DO???????? I don't even know her NAME for certain. I feel there's a caged bird in my chest beating frantically against my ribs. I feel awful and sick and scared.
I replied to her post ... not sure how much good it will do but jesus it makes me rather pissed off when someone talks about suicide. It is one of the most selfish things a human being can do and the havoc and devastation they leave behind proves that point. She bloody needs help and is approaching it in a very unhealthy manner.
ReplyDelete*nods* Well, the good news is that she was taken to the ER by her dad and treated. The bad news is that she is going to her regular doctor tomorrow and hoping he will refill her pain meds...
ReplyDeleteThis sort of thing makes me so angry and sick. Obviously posting such things is a cry for help...but it's a cryout to people who are helpless to do anything but type, watch, and hope SOMEONE can do something.
*sigh* sorry. I'm just growling. thanks for the support and sympathy with an inpossible situation!
It is a cry out. And the point in doing it in cyber world is cause no body can help...There isn't an intervention, cause nobody knows me. It was a vey bad week. Very bad.
ReplyDeleteI need the pain meds for sever migraines which is why I had them in the first place. He did give me my meds. But they are now being monitored and counted religously.
I go to my first counciling appointment this saturday.
You would blelieve the effect your comments all had on me.
It meant so much to know even if it's not real life I do have friends that care. Granted it would help if you all were real. But non the less..You guys all made a big impact on me.
I am sorry to have mead you all angry with me. Everyone is. And I understand why and I am okay with it. I apologized to the people I put in bad postitions. I wasn't in my right mind and seeing what I really had.
I never realized how much you guys all worried. And I am sorry I put you through that. I never want anybody to feel like I did...Like I still do.
I am soooo sorry, and I know that doesn't make up for it. But I don't know what else to say other than I am sorry and thank you so much for caring when you didn't have to.
BTW my name is Elizabeth
~~jane
~jane...
ReplyDeleteFirst, apology fully accepted. I've been there, put people through it, and yeah, I know just how "not right in the head" things can be when *I* am in that space...
Second, I just went through your "Veiws" and didn't see any way to contact you directly...I hope you get this... You can reach me at pixie.mschf at gmail.com. Maybe expanding a few of these cyber-friendships into more might help.
Third, *HUGS*! We DO have a community here, and we DO care and worry and encourage. You aren't alone in this...from the moment you started blogging, you haven't been alone. Hang in there!
<3, pixie