I'm reaching that point where I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired for no "apparent" reason. Yes, I know I'm pregnant, but there is NOTHING redeeming about the situation. No flutters from the baby (who is about the size of a grape right now). No growing belly. No inner glow.
Instead I have dark circles under my eyes, use makeup to cover my pallor, wear 4-5 layers of clothes against a constant chill, and am on my knees before a toilet a few times every day. Today, Beloved did 90% of our "goals list" for the day, and I just feel like a louse.
Much to my chagrin, everyone is so accepting and understanding. Hell, they even make excuses for me to use! Beloved gently told me that if he had to carry Boy around all day, he couldn't get stuff done...why do I try to pretend that I'm any different?
It makes me want to weep...mostly because I am so grateful and needy, and I hate being in this position! I'm the service submissive! I should be the one serving! I want to pretend there's nothing holding me back...that I'm not pregnant...because right now, this really really f-ing SUCKS.
*hugs* you know it's okay to feel like that, and just remind yourself it's not forever hunni, you are a strong woman, you WILL get through it and have a wonderful wee gift at the end of it all x
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