My vanilla extract friend is lending us her massage table. She's a total sweetheart and is aware that Beloved and I are into "that stuff", and she very expressly said that massage is a sacred safe place and the table is...(fill in with some hand waving). I made her blush by promising that there would be no hanky panky on her massage table.
My carpet cleaning friend is also aware that Beloved and I are into "stuff", and he's quite happy to be a part of that from time to time. He had also promised me a massage after the baby was born.
Table + Massage offer = very happy pixie!
*sigh* It makes my head hurt, but I like Jason and enjoy the times we've gotten together. Beloved, naturally, enjoys teasing me about it. In his own words, I enjoy teasing you, this is material for that but little more in that capacity. I like the life it gives our relationship and the freshness it lends to our interactions.... If things get sexy today I would like a story.
So...guess why I'm writing. *smirks*
I set up the table in the living room and put some massage oil in a cup of hot water to warm up. Jason arrived, and complained a little about how firggin' cold it is today, and kissed me before asking where the table was. I showed him, and he smacked my butt. "Well, let's get started...you undress."
I'm sure there was a hint of pink in my cheeks and I know I stammered as I stripped to my birthday suit. I lay down on the table, face down. The oil was perfect, and Jason poured a river down my back. His hands were warm and firm and not shy at all. Once, he asked if he was being to rough, and I laughed and told him it wasn't quite enough. Beloved tells people I've ruined him for massage because of how deep I like the massage to go.
It was really wonderful, and Jason rubbed me out from my shoulders to my toes before asking me to flip over. Part of me was hurrahing....prematurely...that maybe I wouldn't have to write a story! The second half of the massage was still wonderful, very mature, non-sexual...except for the couple of times that Jason leaned over the table to get the oil or to draw his hands from my shoulders to my toes... When he stretched over me like that, I felt his hard cock and I knew that for all the control, the thoughts Jason's mind were NOT platonic. I peaked at him, and he just half-smiled, half-smirked.
When he was done, he leaned down to kiss me. "No hanky panky on the table!" I said. I had promised, and I am working hard to keep my promises, especially in this space. I sat up, stretched, and scooted of the table. Jason had his arms around me in a second. He kissed me, and I giggled. "So, what would YOU like?" I teased. He just shook his head. "No...it's all about you today. Whatever you say, I will do."
Jerk. What the hell is it with people insisting that I VOCALIZE my dark desires, huh? Ya'll know what I want...just relieve me of the responsibility and we can have lots of fun. Get it? *sigh*
Of course, I didn't SAY that. I teased and played with his clothed cock, hoping he'd take the hint. I swear, sometimes it's like everyone is talking about me behind my back. Finally I whispered that I'd run up and get some lube...
I cam back with lube and a condom, Jason was already naked. I kissed him, reaching down and playing with his cock a little. Squirting a little lube on his hand, he reached around me and started teasing my ass. I closed my eyes...wanting but in denial. The war inside my head was very loud. Everything from what to tell Beloved to how naughty this was to maybe Girl will wake up and save me from myself...
But no. Instead, I got a little lube on my hand and reached for his cock, playing, teasing, jerking him. Admitting, without saying a word, how much I liked this. He had warmed me up well, and I tore open the condom wrapper, unrolling it while gazing into his eyes. He turned me around, and pushed me...my hands went down on the couch, my forehead against the back. It hurt just a little as he pressed inside...and then...*smirky smile*
Beloved asked what's it like...why do I like being penetrated anally. I'm not sure how to explain it. It's not the same a vaginal penetration...it's tighter, I feel fuller, not as wet. Without lube, I think it would be hell, but just enough means that I'm not all slippery and can't feel much. I don't "get off" the same...today I have my Keeper in, so there was extra vaginal pressure because of that, and then Jason reached around and played with my clit. I grit my teeth hard because I didn't want to bite a hole in the couch fabric. Orgasm was just dangling out of reach...that sad place where I know I'm not quite going to come, but oh, it would be so nice... Jason was pretty much just toying with me, encouraging me, letting me provide all the movement. I finally brought a hand over his fingers....shhhhhhhh. It just wasn't going to quite happen, and I was on the verge of soreness. He took over, his hands on my hips, fucking my ass fast and hard. A little more lube might have been nice...but he groaned and relaxed. A moment later, he spooned me on the couch, just catching our breath. It wasn't long before I started to get chilled, and we pulled away to get dressed.
Afterwards, in the kitchen, we talked. Then he gave me a hug and kiss and opened the door to the mudroom. "You don't want to come out here...it's cold!" I agreed and gave him a quick kiss before he walked out, closing the door behind him.
I went upstairs and showered, and slowly the situation sank in. Damn it. Damn it damn it damn it! I could hide everything...pretend it never happened...I could fall into the same @#$%&# trap I have in the past. Or, I could swallow my pride and tell Beloved. The RIGHT way. *growls*
I got dressed and went to the computer. Beloved had IMed me... hey love... Silly head of mine is doing overtime, thinking about all the conversations about safe calls last night, and my audiobook had a messed up scene in it.... anyhow, I'd appreciate a call.
In case it isn't clear, I love that man. I felt all mushy and lovey. I called. I told him I was safe, that I owed him a story. He managed to pry it out of me over the phone, making me strangle every. damn. word. THEN he told me I still had to write. Some times......
*sigh*
So...there's my adventure for the day. How was yours?
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ReplyDeleteOne Yay for your fun adventure! Another Yay for sharing!
ReplyDeleteYou had sex in the champagne room. No hanky panky on the massage table and no sex in the champagne room. Tsk Tsk. Least you got some fun anal out of it. One of these days....
ReplyDeleteIt's good to see you have a little balance, given Beloved has a girlfriend and you just had...housework and errands and kids. I really don't feel poly is balanced unless both/all partners at least occasionally act on the openness they're technically allowed. They don't have to screw around all the time, but if the option is never exercised at all it's de facto not an option.
ReplyDeleteI'm also glad you're getting more comfortable communicating about your dates with your Beloved. There's something powerful to trusting your partner to really allow and be OK with your activities with others; saying you're OK with it is one thing but until you've actually been OK it's still a hypothetical that conflicts with our upbringing. And of course, the feeling that you really can tell him anything is great, and being able to tell him about this sort of thing rather than "confess" it like it's something wrong or bad is also good for you.
I've had to hash out similar issues with my partner; the relationship has been defined as open/non-exclusive from the get-go, but this week was the first time we really "tested" that. There's a huge difference between believing it's the right thing and really being comfortable with it. Reassuring her that I do still love and want her was almost as good as make-up sex, and the openness and trust and pre/post-sexual cuddling made the evening even better.
Disclaimer: even if your partner is "OK with" it doesn't mean there aren't some emotions on one or both sides. This is natural and normal, and a big part of being poly is communicating and working through these things. Especially the first few times (which you two may be past by now) there really should be some emotions triggered by sharing your partner with someone else, for the first time or two.
And in vanilla extract news, vanilla extract is no substitute for vanilla vodka. My new favorite drink (the guy who mixed it named it "Magic") is one part spiced rum, 1/2 to 1/3 part vanilla rum (Binny's only seems to have one brand), a splash of vodka (not sure how many "parts" that is) then double the volume in root beer.
Sometimes it is hard to share things, even with those you love. I know that the hardest thing for me to share are my deepest and darkest desires; my lusts. It's not that I'm ashamed of them, it's just that they are the most personal part of me. It's difficult to open that door into your thought and invite someone in.
ReplyDeleteAs far as having to vocalize your desires, I can understand how that feels. Being told "Whatever you say, I will do" is not what a sub wants to hear. I don't want to make decisions, I want to be told what to do! That's what turns me on!!