An anonymous writer challenged me in my last post..."Maybe the reason he didn't fight your wish to leave is because he wishes you would."
Perhaps this person is just a stranger who is embittered by a personal situation and didn't read or understand what really happened in the exchange I shared. Perhaps this person is less anonymous and is using my blog to fire poisoned arrows towards my heart just as I am swinging back to a more positive side.
I have a choice, though.
I can let the poison sit in my blood, boil in the back of my brain, and ruin my day.
I can take a deep breath and let it go.
*wry smile* My knee-jerk reaction was to rise up and challenge the person. Then I went looking for IP address loggers to add to my blog, to protect myself. In both cases, I allow this individual to dictate my actions.
Blogging about it is not much better, but maybe it is. The comment was mean and hurtful, and it stung. It does not change anything, though.
*blinks* Sometimes...wow. Sometimes writing here surprises me. Did you see it? The little spark of magic right just four sentences back? THAT is the lesson for the day! The comment, the other person...they are OUTSIDE of me. It does not matter what they think. What matters is what *I* think.
This is an internal locus of control,, for those of my fellow nerds and geeksters. *chuckles* I'm not precisely a Fount of Useless Knowledge...I use Google for that...but I love school-stuff, and I have a pretty good memory for bits and pieces.
I think this is the beginning, and what I will take to counseling this week. I need to develop a strong internal locus. I need to remember that I am a creature of light. I need to own my own feelings and my own actions.
*nods* Those are good things to work on.
Today, I am also going to work on laundry, and I'll do an initial pick-up in the basement while I'm down there. There is a Jim Gill concert that Girl and I are going to this afternoon. I am making African chicken for supper. I am going to begin prep for our Solstice celebration tomorrow. I am going to feel good about today.
Hi! Like you we are from the Mid-west. . I have been reading your genuinely transparent blog. I hope things come into focus for you soon and you find your joy once again.
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