One of the things that Beloved took away from his Vipassana retreat is the idea that everything is internal...very little actually comes from the outside. One example of this is the impact of appearance.
One man looks upon a woman and feels incredible desire for her full breasts, wide hips, soft body. Another man looks upon the same woman and is disgusted by her weight, the evidence of childbirth, the flabby skin.
How can one woman inspire such extremely different feelings if the feelings do not come from inside? The woman does not MAKE either man feel a particular way...it is something that happens internally. It is an interesting thought.
I also stumbled upon an article, Pieces of You, by Walter Kim. "The charm of a barefoot Cinderella is that her beauty obeys no formula and therefore can sneak up on a man. When he becomes aware of it, he feels like he’s discovered a secret. And secrets are always exciting." It's another interesting thought.
I know that for me, berating my physical appearance is one of the fastest ways to gain Beloved's displeasure. How dare I dictate what HE finds beautiful and delightful? He frequently demands that I preen for him, sometimes at times when I am feeling anything BUT lovely. I try to ignore the size 2 "standard" of beauty and the doubts about my desirability. There is some irony that it is a struggle to surrender myself to his admiration. Interesting what we find to be the most difficult to submit for, isn't it?
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