My mom was 35 years old when she was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer. For this reason, I endure the fabulous cleansing process of colonoscopies every couple of years, and this was my lucky year. The following may be TMI...you have been warned and will read at your own risk.
I have been on a clear liquid diet since Saturday. I discovered that College Inn makes a new Thai Coconut Curry broth that is AWESOME! Like, it almost made up for the jello, AWESOME! I also decided that I like raspberry jello best out of strawberry, raspberry, apricot, lime, pineapple, and lemon. Oh, and the sugar-free jello really doesn't taste different, but when you are only getting like 800 calories a day, there's really no point. Squirt remains my favorite "lemon-lime" soda.
I did the total purge with TriLyte last night. Don't be fooled by their little "great-tasting variety: Lemon Lime, Orange, Pineapple,
Cherry, and Citrus Berry" claim...the stuff still tastes nasty. Taking a tab of zofran and chasing it with a swallow of Squirt made it bearable. Thank you so much to Remmy and Sterling for chatting with me for the three hours that I was stuck in the bathroom!
After finishing, I was sore, sore, sore. I took a hot shower and crawled into bed, but the kids weren't exactly cooperative though the night. Between them and my bowels, I was up a lot and neither Beloved or I got much sleep. He was my absolute hero this morning when he took the kids from 7-8:30 and let me sleep a little more!!!
This morning, I was a light-headed and dizzy, but very calm about the procedure. Beloved walked me into the hospital, saw me signed in, and left. I had to pee in a cup and found out I'm NOT pregnant (surprise, surprise), and then stripped to my skivvies and donned the fashionable gown, and crawled into bed. I left the bed FLAT, left the television OFF, pulled the blanket up, closed my eyes, and waited. *laughs* I don't think the nurses knew what to make of that! They wanted to adjust the bed, teach me how to use the remote control, asked if there was anyone with me... I just shook my head and told them I have a baby at home. All I requested was a warmed blanket and the lights off. Napping is gooooood!
My blood pressure was a cool 109/62, pulse 52 beats/minute BEFORE they gave me drugs.
Happily, I don't remember anything about the procedure. There was one polyp that the found and removed and sent for biopsy, but otherwise I'm good. I DO remember snippets of banter while I was getting dressed...I think we horrified the nurse when Beloved said he should confess his infidelity and I responded by asking if there was someone other than Adaya... *chuckles* I wish I could remember if Beloved blushed.
The one thing that I don't remember, and Beloved has thoroughly enjoyed teasing me about, was whether or not I was "clean". I really did take extra steps and extra fasting because the doctor said there was a note about it on my last report...
Yes, it tripped my trigger about not being "good enough". *sigh* Even inadvertent comments get to me, and it really irritates me that I didn't get that little bit of reassurance. Beloved says I could always call the office...
NOT!
Oh well. I think the pictures look good. *snickers* Yeah, I HAD to share, but you were the one that had to look!
Has anyone ever told you that you have the most beautiful colon?
ReplyDelete(See Kyril? You're not the only who can make passes!)
Oh yeah? Well, I want to have social intercourse with her. My lips and tongue on her ears, her lips and tongue on mine... And I want to do it in public. Where people will watch us. And some of them--maybe even strangers--are likely to join in. Pretty soon we could have a whole group of strange people all having social intercourse together!
ReplyDeleteYou just want to look at her colon. :P
(Yes, I did mean "social" not "sexual". Any desires not expressly described above are neither confirmed nor denied.)
I never pass up an opportunity for someone to tell me my ass is fine... even my doctor.
ReplyDeleteI had my first scope a couple years ago and things all looked great :)
I also remembered nothing. The drugs were awesome.
It's come to my attention that some sources (e.g. urbandictionary.com) do attach intimate and/or sexual aspects to the phrase "social intercourse" which I did not intend. The idea was an "I got you to think something was dirty but it wasn't", and my parenthetical comment didn't really help matters.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for my horribly inappropriate misstatement, and for the portion which would have been inappropriate even if it had come across as I meant at the time.