So little time...so much to say!

So little time...just the weekend...and yet I feel like I have so much to say and I don't know quite where to begin!

Friday afternoon...I'll start there. Beloved came home early and let me go out and get my hair cut. It's about chin-length now. I was kinda bummed out because I really wanted to do something shocking and drastic with it, but there just wasn't TIME to do it. I was trying to put on a happy face because we were going to go OUT on a DATE...just us! Frustrated with my hair, I ran home and took a loooooong, hot shower and decided I was just going to make the best of it. I wore my size 16 jeans for the first time in a year (happy dance...I was just fitting into them when I got pregnant, so I've pretty much gotten back to where I started!), a black v-neck shirt, and my black boots. I put my hair up and decided on my jet earrings and silver ear cuffs. I pulled out a necklace, and thought maybe I'd grab Beloved's key...just in case I could talk him into picking up a cord for it...

And I couldn't find it! I could have sworn it was on my dresser...but Boy has taken to playing with the books he can reach up there. Maybe it fell down behind the dresser? I looked...nothing but dustbunnies. Oh gods, what if Boy walked off with it?! I checked my jewelry box just to make sure it wasn't there...cleared the dresser off again. Beloved came in, and I dared to ask if he knew where it was...

"As a matter of fact, I do," he said. He reached into his pocket and pulled it out...on a new cord! He held it up. "Are you sure you want this?"

I almost started crying right there. I nodded, and my voice cracked trying to say "yes!"

He smiled as he tied it around my neck. "Good. You have more than earned it." I kept saying thank you...as we drove to drop the children off, as we drove to the restaurant, as we walked through the mall...Thank you!

For dinner, we went to a place called Todai. J&j had said it had good all-you-could-eat sushi. It was fresh and there was a decent variety, but I choked a little on the cost. *sigh* I'm cheap, what can I say?

We were sitting at the table having gotten our first helping of yummies, when Beloved caught my eye. "I have another gift for you."

I could feel a slight heat on my cheeks. I didn't know this was a gift-giving night. He laughed. "Not for you, it isn't. But maybe I wanted to give you something."

He brought out a simple necklace. Dark-brown cording with lighter brown decorative work on it. The "clasp" was a bead that you fit through a loop. Not something anyone would suspect...

A collar.

He laid it on the table and we talked about it. It is a temporary collar...mostly to be used as a communications tool. When I wear it, certain higher protocols will be expected of me. *wry smile* I could feel the pit opening up in my stomach. What kinds of protocols?

"Mostly what you have been doing when we have been out, like at the DOM or at MTR's."

Okay...but I really wanted specifics. I don't want this to be a trap.

Beloved shook his head. "Neither do I. That isn't fair. So, let's try this and see how it goes. As I discover things I like, I will tell you and we can incorporate them."

When Beloved enters a room or comes to the table, I am to stand and wait until invited to be seated again. Similarly, I am to wait until invited to begin eating.

I am to allow him to open doors for me.

When in the company of other Dominants, I am to lower my eyes.

I am allowed to put the collar on at any time, but only Beloved may take it off or direct me to take it off.

The collar is a means of communication. If I put it on, Beloved may or may not choose to require special service or enforce protocols. If Beloved directs me to don the collar, I am allowed to beg off if I am not in a good place, although I am to submit if Beloved insists. He said he does not want to take advantage of it and have resentment develop or have me get into a place where I end up ripping it off. That is not the goal. Perhaps, in time, if this goes well, he will see about a fancy, more permanent collar...

My head was whirling. He excused himself to get another plate. I touched the collar, picked it up to actually look at it. I pressed the bead through the loop. I looked around and didn't see Beloved. I put the collar down and closed my eyes. Could I... Dare I... What if...

I looked around again before peaking at the collar again. My collar. Beloved's collar. Quickly, I picked it up, put it around my neck, and fumbled to get the bead through the loop. I bit my lip and look up just in time to see Beloved approaching. I jumped to my feet, looking sheepish and shy. Beloved looked at me and smiled.

"Thank you." He sat down and nodded to me, and I sat.

I was floaty and shy and graceless. I stumbled on the protocols and mentally kicked myself repeatedly. Beloved mostly just chuckled at my coltish starts and stops and only once actually corrected me...

But I have earned the next step!

Saturday. I got up with the kids and let Beloved sleep in, although he only slept until about 8:30. He offered to let me nap when the kids went down and I looked at him...what if I wanted to do something else? like mess with my hair? He laughed and said sure...

So while the kids slept, Beloved played his video game and I bleached my hair. I am presently an orangy-honey blonde-ish color. There is blue dye waiting for me, but the bleach process says to wait at least 24 hours before doing another chemical process. *laughs* When Boy saw it, he said, "Momma, you got new hair!" I wonder what he'll think when (if) I go blue...

Beloved and I had a dinner date with Tamin and Nighthawk. I fretted about what to wear, and ended up in all black, which really made the hair stand out. I also found a small amber stone in my jewelry box that practically matches my hair. With some help from Beloved, it got secured to the collar.

Dinner was at Domo77, a hibachi restaurant. While the food was yummy, the environment was not conducive to actual conversation. We chose to go to another place for dessert and talk. Because of an emergency check-in with Boy, I was a bit tardy joining the Doms for dessert, and I felt very much unsure of my place. Could I just join in? No...I was wearing my collar and was supposed to keep my eyes down. It wasn't really a situation where I could serve, either. So, mostly, I just listened. Tamin and Nighthawk asked me about SJW, since their girl is going this year, and I was happy to chatter a little on that. It wasn't until the end of the evening, when energy work came up, that I really pushed to join the conversation... It was interesting to me that Lady Tamin and I seem to have such similar ideas and early experiences...although the background might be vastly different. She didn't volunteer that...It was 11:30 before we got home and to bed.

Sunday was somewhat lost in a tired haze. I wanted to blog, but didn't really get a quiet chance to collect my thoughts. We got the kids down for naps, and Beloved and I joined them. Einhander came over to play video games, I made pizza and did seven loads of laundry, J&j actually showed up to get some of their stuff...*shrug*

So, here it is, Monday, and I'm finally getting most of an hour to write. I need to see if I can get Boy down for a nap and get ready for Game Nite with the poly group tonight...As always, my life marches on! Maybe when I'm dead I'll have time to actually DIGEST what all of this means instead of simply regurgitating it for you, my readers...

Which, if you have actually made it through all of the above babble, thank you for your attention...I'm not sure I'm great entertainment, but I do appreciate your thoughts, shared and unshared. I plan to get some pictures for you soon...