Perhaps the irony of my answer is that this person isn't really IN my life at all. In fact, my sister, the cardiac patient, has fought and kicked and sworn and slammed doors to kick me OUT of her life.
At the same time, I'm working through counseling and some of the things that come up go waaaaaay back to when we were little. I have unanswerable questions about how her birth and traumatic health problems began a pattern of independence and self-reliance that really wasn't appropriate. Attachment disorders, self-esteem issues, control problems. How much stems from the fact that I was the older, healthy child who didn't "need" attention the way the sick baby did?
She is incredible in her tenacity, though. She's more than doubled any life expectancy every given to her. She is the sole surviving patient who had a particular Fontan procedure done - it was discontinued because of complications later in life. She pursued a double-major at Northwestern University, despite needing pace-makers and repeated surgeries.
She's also gotten herself in a whole mess of trouble and she is on my mind a lot...mostly wondering if she's even alive, let alone safe. There's nothing I can do for her but have faith that she is where she needs to be in the Grand Scheme.
*sigh* I don't blame her, nor do I blame my parents. There is no fault for the complications of a disabled sibling. It's just hard...sometimes hell-ish.
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