Journal Prompt

LunaKM asks, "How would you handle being outted in the vanilla world?"

That's tough. I know people who have lost their job; custody of their kids. I know someone who is constantly chastised by parents because of lifestyle choices. I know people for whom being outted has been devastating.

Right now, I don't know that being outted would change very much in my life. I don't have a job to worry about losing; my vanilla friends all know I'm a little different, even if it's just because of my hair. My "collar" is a key on a silk cord around my neck, and I give a shy smile when I happily explain it is the key to Beloved's heart. If it came to child-endangerment, DCFS is welcome to interview friends, family, or do a home study...there's nothing to hide and the kids are well-adjusted. I don't run for titles, for all that title holders seem impressive and together, it takes a certain dedication to earn a title. My "lifestyle" just isn't that extreme.

But even with the lack of extremes, I have been ousted from social groups because of my affiliations with alternative groups. It comes as a shock every time.

I dunno.

Would vanilla people in my life be appalled, shocked, disappointed? Probably.

Just before SJW, I outed myself to my dad on the polyamory lifestyle. I know he is trying really hard to wrap his head around it - he's called a lot more and asked about my trip in a very "curious, but spare me the details" kind of way. If it came to the kink stuff, it might be harder for him to swallow, but I generally have no problems wearing a bathing suit. We talk often and he can tell if I'm really okay or not.

Since I've been thinking about going back to work, there are other complications. Like the hair. There are very few jobs that would allow me to leave it technicolored. It wouldn't change my skills, what I could do for a company, but it is perceived as "wrong" "unprofessional" and "deviant". Thus, I am disqualified at first glance, instead of being engaged and asked if such things could be changed.

It is truly disappointing that we do to our bodies, in our private lives is taken as a threat to the public world. Why are we so afraid of individuality?