So much roller-coastering! I have offers to play coming out of my ears. I'm working on a dark story of "abduction", training...a lot of people have immediately gone to thinking rape. I'm not entirely sure where the story's going yet, but life was certainly spiced up here while I was writing...
But then, Beloved said I should find someone who can really dig into me. On the one hand, I was excited! On the other, scared. At the same time, he expresses remorse that he doesn't have the opportunities I do to find or play with someone else. That makes me feel guilty about looking. *wry smile* I've changed up my profile again, removing the comment about looking for a play partner for that exact reason.
So...now what? I feel like I've somehow messed up Father's Day because...I don't know? Beloved and I are just missing each other in communications and we're both ending up resentful.
I'm tired of struggling and trying. I'm tried of feeling like I can't get this right. I'm tired. Maybe it is break-time?
time to get out for a walk think about what you need to write like a good walk in the woods along a mark trail and sit down in the middle of the woods and think
ReplyDeleteDeep breaths. This tends to happen in long term relationships. Signals get crossed and words are misunderstood.
ReplyDeleteJust because he wishes he has time, doesnt mean he is resentful of yours. Take a deep breath and come at it fresh.
Perhaps we should kidnap (abduct) you two and go out for tacos. Just not Taco Bell, cause thats just gross. Friends dont let friends do taco bell, or white castle.