It wasn't a fall-on-my-face screw up...more of a open-mouth-insert-foot screw up. And I recognized the fact the second my mouth closed. As in, pixie, that was mean, dumb, unfair, and inaccurate.
We got up this morning with the children; I took Girl downstairs while Beloved and Boy showered. Girl, Beloved, and I ate breakfast while Boy finished his bath. He came down asking for a show, and Beloved said he'd promised. That was fine, but it digs at me that it's ALL Boy ever wants when we are home. *sigh*
So Beloved and Boy went upstairs. I tried to finish my breakfast, finish waking up. Girl fussed about my not holding her, trying to climb up my legs and pulling on me. I was hot and still sleepy and quickly becoming grumpy.
When Boy and Beloved came back downstairs from the den, the first thing Boy did was bother Girl, who screamed her complaints. I yelled. Boy pouted. I went into the kitchen, fuming.
Beloved asked what had happened...I was alright a few minutes earlier, why was I so short now?
I snapped. That is how it is ALL day, EVERY day, and YOU get to escape it!
*wince* Stupid, wrong...Especially knowing how stressful and awful the last two days have been in the office. I know work isn't relaxing, isn't an escape. I'm sorry. I know.
Boy is 3 1/2, has the normal 3 1/2 angst, and is struggling with sibling rivalry as well. Girl is just 1, is starting to be interested playing and exploring, and has no real grasp of communication skills. The two of them collide every 3-5 minutes. It is 100% normal. While Beloved goes to work, I struggle to make it through the day with the insanity of children. It's incredibly frustrating to do the same damn thing all of the time. I hated that position in the corporate world, and I hate it at home. I don't know what to do about it, though. *sigh*
Beloved said something about changing my outlook, or redefining what I am trying to accomplish. Maybe he is on to something with that thought...I don't know what I am trying to accomplish. I don't have goals or plans beyond surviving the day and keeping the kids entertained enough they don't kill each other or make ME kill them. I need to focus...on something. Suggestions?
(((HUGS))) it is hard sometimes... Can screen time be more scheduled for Boy? I know there are certain times of the day when TV is really helpful...
ReplyDeleteFor example, when I'm feeding the baby, it's helpful to all sit down, have a snack and watch something.
Also I do limit screen time, especially in response to agressive or grumpy behaviour, as for my kids, especially a couple of them, the two seem to be linked!
Also, if there has been some special effort on their part in something - a behavioural change, or tidying or whatever - then we often cuddle up with a film after dinner.
So I'm not saying use the TV as bribery or a carrot/stick exactly, but you and Beloved could control it a little more?
Maybe you could chat to Him about this?
The other thing I find helpful is to get out as much as possible - somewhere Boy can run/climb/jump/yell!
Also - it sound bizare - but it really helps to have them both in situations where they can play happily together, such as the bath 0- seriously, if you can, pop them in the bath together. I've done this for years, for mainly practical reasons (we have 6 kids) but I also read it in an article about tackling sibling rivalry a few years ago.
It also helps if you can give him lots of oportunity to pick between two options (more than two will probably blow his mind) in all areas where he can have some control - the red tshirt or the blue tshirt, jam or honey, the blue plate or the green plate, etc.
If you really big up the control he CAN exert, the control he dosn't have doesn't seem to be so frustrating, somehow.
sorry to write a novel :O
hope some of that is helpful xx