Cindy Easley wrote a book with that title, and I was highly amused when I saw it on the thrift store shelf. For 69 cents, I figured I could indulge. It wasn't until about a week later that I finally got to open it and at first I had to bite my tongue. It is BIBLICAL. Not the occasional reference, but multiple quotes on ever page through p61 (I haven't gotten further yet).
I can get particularly cankerous about "The Word" because quite frankly, this IS NOT the Word; this is the message that was translated from an experience with an angel, a burning bush, a dream. The message was then translated from Aramaic to Greek and Latin, and THEN translated to modern language. There are over 30 different Bible translations and versions online, all slightly different. *raises eyebrow* Care to tell me which one is correct? Not to mention, there are other Great Books that also claim to be The Word. I don't have enough knowledge, but I suspect they suffer from the same diverse translations and resulting subtle differences. *shrug*
This very simple belief is why I am not a religious person...spiritual, yes, but not religious. I am grateful for Beloved's Grandad, himself a Presbyterian church leader, who says that it is best to "eat the fish and spit out the bones." You can choke to death on those bones if you aren't careful.
All of this leads to a bit of surprise that I am finding some very true bits of wisdom in this book. Things that are echoed in Mark Gungor's materials, and I really love his work! Simple things. "Every man wants his wife to believe in him." In For Men Only, Shaunti Feldhahn wrote, "The male need for respect...is so hardwired and critical that most men would rather feel unloved than disrespected or inadequate."
I am opinionated, independent, strong-willed, not afraid to make decisions or open my mouth or take on leadership. I am not a doormat, nor would Beloved put up with me being a doormat. He *needs* me to be strong, to be a leader, to be his helpmate, to represent him when he is elsewhere. But so much of that got messed up when we started delving into D/s...mostly because it came with the trappings of BDSM and things we weren't truly interested in. We've fumbled through concepts, contracts, communications, but I never really found what I was looking for.
Submissive women is NOT a popular idea. It is not culturally acceptable or even open for discussion in a society that worships equality. Sitcoms carry the theme of "the slob-idiot-man married to the beautiful and brilliant woman," and it is hilarious and laughed at. There is a real struggle for a girl who is seeking meaningful submission.
Just two weeks ago, I shared the moment my desire for submission was born when I walked out of the hospital, owned and protected by my husband, and outside any other attempts of authority over me. Combining that memory with Gungor's "be his number one fan" and Easley's "One of the greatest gifts we can give to our husbands is to bring them honor and respect..." I think maybe I am finally finding a picture I understand.
No comments:
Post a Comment