Your mission, should you choose to accept it...

Back in March, I attended a seminar. At the end of one of the exercises, my partner used those words, challenging me to find what would make me *happy*. That has been a theme is several of the presentations and conversations I have participated in lately.

When am I most energized? When am I most comfortable? What inspires my passion and enthusiasm?

Beloved and I have both realized a conclusion that is difficult to embrace. He was thinking back to the "dream careers" I talked about when we first met. I was reminiscing times in my childhood that were truly joyful. The discovery-realization is that I do best in my own little world, where I can spend hours and lose track of time, and then I can come out and share the fruits of my time. Secret places that I have discovered, ideas I have connected.

But the important element is being ALONE. My spirit animal is a mountain lion.

This cat has the greatest range of any large wild terrestrial mammal in the Western Hemisphere...An adaptable, generalist species...the cougar is a solitary animal...with adults meeting only to mate. It is secretive and crepuscular, being most active around dawn and dusk...It is a reclusive cat and usually avoids people.

It's funny to find the answer staring me in the face...one I have recited to others over and over again...and yet be unprepared for it's "discovery." There is a sharp dichotomy between desiring Beloved's leadership and ownership and my reclusive nature. I am not quite sure how to reconcile his social being and running about and being a butterfly with my need for solitude.

Reading over yesterday's posts as I contemplate today's...Seeing the bounce is scary and hopeful at the same time.