How hard it is to change an identity? Are we forever trapped by the original name?
My previous name was...IS...a part of me and my identity. One that I struggled with and tried to "put away" and finally found acceptance in. But in my head, I was defined by, legitimized, and inexorably tied to another. My mental identity was really of two-as-one, not two individuals.
That relationship is changing...shifting. We are both discovering a need to be independently known and to explore our own desires.
Exploring and bringing home new ideas and experiences to share has always been one of the aspects of our relationship that is a strength. We are poly, and we embrace the idea that one person cannot and should not be expected to fulfill all needs.
Still...I fell prey to green-eyed jealousy and felt replaced. I wish to shed that bitterness. I wish to rename and thus reclaim my individuality. I wish to feel compersion, to love without limits. I wish to be known as J'aime.
My previous name was...IS...a part of me and my identity. One that I struggled with and tried to "put away" and finally found acceptance in. But in my head, I was defined by, legitimized, and inexorably tied to another. My mental identity was really of two-as-one, not two individuals.
That relationship is changing...shifting. We are both discovering a need to be independently known and to explore our own desires.
Exploring and bringing home new ideas and experiences to share has always been one of the aspects of our relationship that is a strength. We are poly, and we embrace the idea that one person cannot and should not be expected to fulfill all needs.
Still...I fell prey to green-eyed jealousy and felt replaced. I wish to shed that bitterness. I wish to rename and thus reclaim my individuality. I wish to feel compersion, to love without limits. I wish to be known as J'aime.
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