On Tuesday, Beloved was reviewing how to install tub surrounds over breakfast. He closed the laptop and we were talking, slowly becoming aware of a low whirling sound. The source was the laptop. With a worried look, Beloved opened it and came face to face with the black screen of death.
My hard drive crashed.
With a stroke of good luck, he managed to recover my files, but no coaxing could get things like "My Favorites" off of the dead paperweight. *wry smile* I said I wanted to take a break from reading other journals...now that my bookmarks are gone, it will be easier...and more frustrating.
It took two days and some expertise from co-workers, but Beloved has patched my system back together...for now. I am going to have to start saving up for a new laptop....
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The bathroom project became more complicated, of course. Right now, the toilet and sink work, but the shower is still out of commission. There is mold on the old sheet rock, so that needs to be torn out and replaced before the new surround goes up. For now, everyone is using the master suite bathroom to wash up. It's a little challenging as it a clawfoot tub with a hand-hold shower head, but it works.
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Life with Halder and mylie hasn't been all that different. Beloved and I get up at 6:30 am and do our workout, he washes up while I nurse Boy, and then we go down and get breakfast together while Halder and mylie wash up and get ready for the day. There's a brief collision of five humans and two cats, we see the menfolk off to work, mylie logs into to her work, and Boy and I go about our day. Dinner is much the same with homecomings, meals, playing....Halder and mylie head to their room and Beloved and I play a game, and suddenly it's bedtime.
They have a slightly different M/s relationship than Beloved and I ever did, but I think that's mostly because they began as Master and slave. I don't know what everyone else thinks, but things seem alright. I hope mylie is actually working and not feeling trapped, though.
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On Sunday, Beloved finally asked ME about the M/s. I am still not sure...Lately, I feel like I have been offering service, but on my own terms. To be perfectly honest, I rather like where we are right now.
Beloved, however, wrote me a letter...kind of. I got it last night. "Slave Wanted" read the subject.
I am a hetro-flexable Dominant / Top seeking a female submissive to serve my needs...
The text detailed out what Master Saul would like in a slave. He closed with:
If you are interested in becoming my slave then the first service I would require of you is a similar note outlining what you would like to see from your Master. I'll review it and see if we are compatible.
I'm struggling with it and explaining why is difficult. I think that I DO everything Master Saul asks for in the letter, I just do it without the collar right now. The last two sexual encounters, he has been carefully forceful, and I have responded positively, lustily.
Do I need the collar? Does he? I've wanted Beloved to take control. He responded that he will if I recant my safeword. He's said that we won't return to where we stopped...rather we will continue to move forward, incorpojavascript:void(0)rating what works and rejecting what didn't. It makes sense...
I guess it boils down to one thing. I'm afraid.
Not that you asked but here are my two cents:
ReplyDelete1) Take him at his word. Tell him everything, every detail you want from a Master. Tell him if/when you want time apart from the D/s side of your relationship.
2) Have fun!
i love ninian's answer..even if you decide not to "apply" for the "position"..it never hurts to have the resume, mission statement and objective prepared.
ReplyDeletei jest, but i believe it would allow you to detach a bit and look at where you are and where you might like to go.
And, darling, just what is it you fear?? What we fear often tells more than what we seek...
~nik