The Swing

I've been trapped on the emotional swing all morning.

Swing down...I didn't want to wake up, let alone get out of bed this morning. I fell apart just two hours after Beloved left for work. I yelled at my child and screamed at the world in general. Boy, of course, patted my knee and quietly told it "It's alright, Momma, no more crying." Beloved said he'd come home tonight instead of going out...which I'm grateful and guilty for...

Swing up...stumbled on a post on yet another journal site I have, dated 10/20/08, which shocked me. It was basically an angry rant about our old roommates. *sigh* They are almost done here...it's a sad, bitter relief but re-reading the journal entry made me shake my head in wonder.

Swing up...Fluffybunny posted on her journal a link to YouTube, with the comment "When Was The Last Time We Had A President Who Could..." That actually got me to laugh...

Swing down...Beloved's girlfriend posted about her uncle. *closes eyes* I'm so sorry, Lady. I ache for you. I also am torn...I want to send Beloved to her...to offer that little comfort or distraction...but I'm struggling in my own quagmire...

My doctor on Tuesday all be agreed she expects me to go into labor early...my doctor on Wednesday gave me until July 3rd...maybe.

I want to crawl into bed and just sleep until I'm sated. I crave a balance and peace and order. But sleep, balance, peace, and order are unlikely to find their way into my life soon. Too much is wrapped up in the swing...As Jareth says, "It's further than you think, time is short."