Anticipatory service is the service that you provide or is provided for you in advance of being asked for. Is part of your service to your owner an anticipatory service?
A great deal of my service to Beloved is anticipatory. I suppose it's rather “1950's” style service...I don't usually need directions on maintaining the house or bills. I also don't wait for direction to seek out D/s learning opportunities...these I present when I find things I believe might be of interest to him...or I even create them, as is the case with the DOM.
I don't consider much of my service to Sir to be anticipatory...yet. I'm still trying to figure out where my SERVICE might fit in that relationship. Once I have identified a need, I try to attend to it, but I still need to discuss things with him before acting on them. An example is I recently found replacements for his couch and microwave.
Is there ever a time or place when this type of service is not appreciated or encouraged?
There have been discussions on FL about when anticipatory service can be construed as “Topping from the bottom”, but I think in general my services have been appreciated.
I have struggled with “being helpful” in scenes...perhaps that is an example of when it's not encouraged. There was a scene with Sir in which he dropped one of the cuffs...without thinking about it, I picked it up and offered it to him, but got scolded for it. I'm not used to waiting to be helpful.
I do this naturally and always have. I have an inner timer that rarely fails me ... I know when coffees need to be replenished, when a snack or an appetizer would be much appreciated or when my absolute attention and silence is needed.
I don't think that sex can be considered an anticipatory service because most men will most often always want sex in some form or the other . It took me years of research and practice but I finally figured that one out ...
In what ways do you anticipate your owner's needs?
Sort of a redundant question...With Beloved, I know when laundry needs doing, what groceries need purchasing, how he likes his tea. I develop a menu for the week and stick to it to keep our food bills in a budget. I keep track of the money flow and pay the bills. I maintain a calendar of important events and schedule appointments and occasional dates for him.
With Sir, like I mentioned, I'm still learning where I can be of service in the first place. The first time I spent the night, he told me to make coffee...the second time, I went ahead and made it while Sir showered. Still, it's a bit more of a challenge...I've been scolded and told to wait until asked to do something...
Do you do this on a regular basis?
Yes. It really doesn't matter if I'm in a D/s relationship or not...It's just something I do naturally for people around me...even those I'm not overly fond of.
Does this type of service in any way strengthen your relationship?
I think so...especially while I'm pregnant, it gives me an outlet for my submission, although really, I'm not much for the physical demands of BDSM anyway.
Is there ever a time when you are told to back down or stop?
*laughs* ALL THE TIME. I'm a perfectionist. On a few occasions, Beloved has restrained me to the bed to make me stop.
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