Everyone was pretty subdued from lack of sleep and not wanting to say goodbye. Once again, I managed to get kitchen work (I think part of it was people not wanting me climbing stairs...hehe). At one point, I used my voice projection to get the attention of everyone for a last call on food, and actually got applause for my "hidden" ability to be heard (thank you, rally work!). Once breakfast was cleared, we sat down for our last group meeting.
It was noticeably different from the first. About half of the group was sprawled out on the floor instead of sitting rigidly in chairs. Hair and clothes were less "first impression" neat. It wasn't just me...it was obvious that everyone was more comfortable in this space.
The meeting started with slave ziggy saying there wasn't time to go around to everyone, but on the first day, he had asked us each for three words to introduce ourselves and three words to describe our state of mind. He asked for volunteers...had the three words describing your state of mind changed? It had for many people, and I wasn't the only crying. It sort of dissolved into general comments, applause and thanks for the staff, for each other. I told everyone that for the first time, I really felt like I'd come home. Another gal expressed fear of leaving, of losing this new family, and I soooo understood what she meant. We were all also warned about subdrop over the next day, week, month as we continued to process the retreat.
As part of this graduation, each of us was presented with a certificate.
When handing mine to me, slave ziggy hugged me and whispered that I'd done well. I know that each participant got some sort of special thought from him, but it still meant a lot. I'm still in awe of his composition and balance.
When all the certificates were handed out, the DenMother said, "We have 45 submissives and 20 minutes...can we clean this place top to bottom?" There was laughter, and someone yelled out "So you want us to take our time? Stretch it out?" More laughter, and we set to work.
I don't know how the rest of the chores went, but the kitchen was a little daunting. There was so much left over!!! A lot was set out for people to claim, either for the drive home or to take home to families. Given I was flying, I couldn't take much, and Beloved wants to throttle me for bring the one thing of Oreo cookies home as it is. *grin*
After that, there was a lot of standing around in the parking lot, saying goodbye. No one wanted to be the first to leave, but I'd promised to get one of my carpoolers to the airport pretty early...we ended up being the first out.
Of course, the roads in the Smokey Mountains hate me. I'm not sure HOW we pulled it off (Twilight Zone???) but we managed to make a complete circle of the scenic drive through the mountains and after an hour, ended up right back where we started! There's something about pixie-magic...it works with a precision I don't always appreciate: When we had left, we had about one extra hour. I'd said outloud we needed to be at the airport at 1 pm. We did actually pull into the rental return at 12:57 pm. How's that for precision? *laughs* None of us minded all that much...it was a pretty drive and good company, and it all worked out perfectly.
We got checked in and then got some food to wait for our individual boarding calls. *laughs* We weren't exactly bashful about talking about submission, our Sirs, etc. I noticed a few very curious (trying not to be obvious) listeners, and that was fun.
Beloved and Boy picked me up at the airport right on time, and I couldn't stop crying. It's hard to explain why...still! I'm so grateful for the experience, for Beloved's love, for Sir's attentions. I wish I knew how to express it better...
The last day and a half of being home HAVE been hard. Yes, there's the subdrop...the emotional rollercoaster and confusion of getting back to regular life...both Beloved and Sir have wanted to have important conversations about our relationship, and that's been really challenging. I'm definitely fighting with sleep deprivation as well...
All told, SJW was an amazing experience!!! I'm sure there will be lots more to write about in the coming days, weeks, months...far from over, I've only just begun!
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